{"id":880,"date":"2010-06-07T19:20:00","date_gmt":"2010-06-07T19:20:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/admin.patheos.com\/blogs\/rebeccafrech\/2010\/06\/come-over-here-and-say-that-to-my-face.html"},"modified":"2014-08-22T15:52:37","modified_gmt":"2014-08-22T20:52:37","slug":"come-over-here-and-say-that-to-my-face","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/rebeccafrech\/2010\/06\/come-over-here-and-say-that-to-my-face.html","title":{"rendered":"Come Over Here and Say That to My Face"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<\/head>

Rape, incest, and the mother\u2019s life\u2026oh, and abused children\u2026better aborted than abused.<\/span><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

How many times have we heard these acceptable exceptions to a ban on abortions?\u00a0 It is easy to see the point of view that makes these exceptions acceptable.\u00a0 No sane person wants to inflict further hurt<\/span> and suffering on those already in pain.\u00a0 Worst of all are the faces of children who live in horror.\u00a0 Children who might, it is imagined, count themselves lucky to have never been born.<\/p>\n

What becomes of these children when they reach maturity?\u00a0 Common wisdom places them in prison, in poverty, or most probably becoming abusers themselves.\u00a0 Surely the world would be better without such people wandering around among us.\u00a0 Have we ever asked them?\u00a0 Could we if we tried?<\/p>\n

The problem is finding these now grown children.\u00a0 The shame of what was done to them causes them to retreat into silence and hide the shame.\u00a0 There is shame in not being loved enough.\u00a0 Abuse in families typically centers on one child and leaves the others alone.\u00a0 This leaves the target feeling responsible and complicit in the abuse.\u00a0 The survivors hide among us, never talking about what was done for fear of public condemnation and embarrassment. How, then, do we combat the \u201cbetter unborn than abused\u201d argument?\u00a0 If the abused children can not find the courage to speak out for the value of their own lives, how can anyone else?\u00a0 Someone must speak out for them and the value of their lives.<\/p>\n

I will do it.\u00a0 My name is Rebecca and I was an abused child.\u00a0 I spent more nights than I can remember sleeping on the floor of my closet underneath the hanging clothes for fear of what might come through my bedroom door.\u00a0 It was scary and horrible and took me many years to forgive, but at no time during or after did I ever think that I would have been better off if I had never been born.\u00a0 At no time was death a preferable alternative. I am the face of the abused child all grown up.<\/p>\n

People don\u2019t like to feel guilty and will do just about anything to not feel bad.\u00a0 I understand this impulse.\u00a0 The thought of children who are being harmed in some way is unpleasant and easier to ignore than to admit, but we are here.<\/p>\n

The next time you hear someone try to dismiss the problem by saying those children would be better off dead, tell them what you now know.\u00a0 The majority of abused children grow up to live lives that look like any other life.\u00a0 We learn to deal with our pain and to forgive those who hurt us and move on with our lives.\u00a0 Tell them that even worse than being abused is being murdered.\u00a0 If that doesn\u2019t convince them that their \u201cbetter aborted than abused\u201d rhetoric is wrong, then tell them to come over here to where I sit with my wonderful husband and our beautiful children.\u00a0 Let them come and see the great life we have built for ourselves, look me in the eye and tell me that I would be better off dead.\u00a0 Let them come and tell me to my face.<\/p>\n<\/body><\/html>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Rape, incest, and the mother\u2019s life\u2026oh, and abused children\u2026better aborted than abused. How many times have we heard these acceptable exceptions to a ban on abortions?\u00a0 It is easy to see the point of view that makes these exceptions acceptable.\u00a0 No sane person wants to inflict further hurt and suffering on those already in pain.\u00a0 […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1979,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-880","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"yoast_head":"\nCome Over Here and Say That to My Face<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Rape, incest, and the mother's life...oh, and abused children...better aborted than abused.How many times have we heard these acceptable exceptions to a\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" 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