{"id":997,"date":"2010-01-20T12:15:00","date_gmt":"2010-01-20T12:15:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/admin.patheos.com\/blogs\/rebeccafrech\/2010\/01\/two-steps-back-or-god-still-thinks-im-funny-and-i-dont-blame-him.html"},"modified":"2014-08-22T16:03:36","modified_gmt":"2014-08-22T21:03:36","slug":"two-steps-back-or-god-still-thinks-im-funny-and-i-dont-blame-him","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/rebeccafrech\/2010\/01\/two-steps-back-or-god-still-thinks-im-funny-and-i-dont-blame-him.html","title":{"rendered":"Two Steps Back &#8230;or, God Still Thinks I&#8217;m Funny and I Don&#8217;t Blame Him"},"content":{"rendered":"<!DOCTYPE html PUBLIC \"-\/\/W3C\/\/DTD HTML 4.0 Transitional\/\/EN\" \"http:\/\/www.w3.org\/TR\/REC-html40\/loose.dtd\">\n<html><head><meta http-equiv=\"content-type\" content=\"text\/html; charset=utf-8\"><meta http-equiv=\"content-type\" content=\"text\/html; charset=utf-8\"><\/head><body><p>I was on a roll this morning.  The laundry\u2019s in the machine.  The children are learning with a minimum of fuss.  The kitchen floor is mopped.  Yes, I was feeling fine and congratulating myself on my efficiency.<\/p>\n<p>The kitchen would be sparkling by the time the Computer Guy came home for lunch.<\/p>\n<p>I reached under the sink for cleanser to put the finishing touches on the stove top, that trusty green can of cleanliness.\u00a0 Not the usual brand, but we\u2019re bargain shoppers here.\u00a0 Green can, under the sink=cleanser.<\/p>\n<div class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both;text-align: center\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-media.patheos.com\/blogs\/sites\/458\/__cIxBvfbwM4\/S1dGkubZ-5I\/AAAAAAAAAnI\/_BcOEJhkrKU\/s1600-h\/cleaner+001.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em;margin-right: 1em\" class=\" decorated-link\" target=\"_blank\"><img decoding=\"async\" border=\"0\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-media.patheos.com\/blogs\/sites\/458\/__cIxBvfbwM4\/S1dGkubZ-5I\/AAAAAAAAAnI\/_BcOEJhkrKU\/s320\/cleaner+001.jpg\"><\/a><\/div>\n<p>I was scrubbing and humming happily to myself.\u00a0 I started thinking that this new cleaner wasn\u2019t all it was cracked up to be.\u00a0\u00a0 It smells bad, and makes a weird paste on everything I try to clean.\u00a0 Who was the cheapskate who bought this cr*p anyway?<\/p>\n<p>I looked at the label for directions.\u00a0 Was I doing this wrong?\u00a0 I\u2019ve never claimed to be the world\u2019s best housekeeper, but how dumb do you have to be to forget how to scrub a stove?<\/p>\n<p>There were no instructions on the back.\u00a0 I just kept scrubbing.\u00a0 This is possibly the worst kitchen cleaner ever.\u00a0 Once I get it off of my appliances, I\u2019m definitely writing a letter to tell them how awful their product is.\u00a0 Just let me get a look at this label.\u00a0 Maybe there\u2019s a phone number on here to call customer service and complain.<\/p>\n<div class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both;text-align: center\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-media.patheos.com\/blogs\/sites\/458\/__cIxBvfbwM4\/S1dIBANnL0I\/AAAAAAAAAnQ\/E7gqd7yn5Xw\/s1600-h\/cleaner+002.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em;margin-right: 1em\" class=\" decorated-link\" target=\"_blank\"><img decoding=\"async\" border=\"0\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-media.patheos.com\/blogs\/sites\/458\/__cIxBvfbwM4\/S1dIBANnL0I\/AAAAAAAAAnQ\/E7gqd7yn5Xw\/s320\/cleaner+002.jpg\"><\/a><\/div>\n<div class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both;text-align: center\"><\/div>\n<div class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both;text-align: left\">On second thought, somehow I don\u2019t think they\u2019ll be surprised that it doesn\u2019t clean that well at all.\u00a0 <\/div>\n<\/body><\/html>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>I was on a roll this morning. The laundry\u2019s in the machine. The children are learning with a minimum of fuss. The kitchen floor is mopped. Yes, I was feeling fine and congratulating myself on my efficiency. The kitchen would be sparkling by the time the Computer Guy came home for lunch. I reached under [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1979,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-997","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v21.1 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>Two Steps Back ...or, God Still Thinks I&#039;m Funny and I Don&#039;t Blame Him<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"I was on a roll this morning. The laundry&#039;s in the machine. The children are learning with a minimum of fuss. 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Yes, I was\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/rebeccafrech\/2010\/01\/two-steps-back-or-god-still-thinks-im-funny-and-i-dont-blame-him.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Shoved to Them\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2010-01-20T12:15:00+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2014-08-22T21:03:36+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"http:\/\/wp.production.patheos.com\/blogs\/rebeccafrech\/files\/__cIxBvfbwM4\/S1dGkubZ-5I\/AAAAAAAAAnI\/_BcOEJhkrKU\/s320\/cleaner+001.jpg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Rebecca Frech\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"Rebecca Frech\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"1 minute\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\/\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/rebeccafrech\/2010\/01\/two-steps-back-or-god-still-thinks-im-funny-and-i-dont-blame-him.html\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/rebeccafrech\/2010\/01\/two-steps-back-or-god-still-thinks-im-funny-and-i-dont-blame-him.html\",\"name\":\"Two Steps Back ...or, God Still Thinks I'm Funny and I Don't Blame Him\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/rebeccafrech\/#website\"},\"datePublished\":\"2010-01-20T12:15:00+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2014-08-22T21:03:36+00:00\",\"author\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/rebeccafrech\/#\/schema\/person\/a480038559bb99863ca3ba86f368775d\"},\"description\":\"I was on a roll this morning. 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