{"id":26643,"date":"2014-10-12T17:22:24","date_gmt":"2014-10-12T21:22:24","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/admin.patheos.com\/blogs\/exploringourmatrix\/?p=26643"},"modified":"2014-10-12T17:22:24","modified_gmt":"2014-10-12T21:22:24","slug":"the-harrowing-of-hell-house","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/religionprof\/2014\/10\/the-harrowing-of-hell-house.html","title":{"rendered":"The Harrowing of Hell House"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<\/head>

Fred Clark<\/a> has come up with a response to the phenomenon of conservative Christian\u00a0\u201chell houses\u201d for Halloween. His post literally made me laugh out loud. Here\u2019s how it starts:<\/p>\n

Hell Houses are an irredeemably bad idea \u2014 a combination of the very worst forms of evangelism with the very worst forms of community theater. The only thing worse than their warped soteriology and eschatology is their stunted, politicized, culturally shaped notion of what constitutes human sin. Or maybe the writing and acting.<\/p>\n

They\u2019re so very awful \u2014 and, ultimately,\u00a0cruel<\/em>\u00a0\u2014 that some might be tempted to respond by, perhaps, Creating a Scene.<\/p>\n

Disclaimer: I do not, of course, advocate interrupting, disrupting or otherwise interfering with any actual Hell House production. That would be uncivil and even, potentially, a misdemeanor. So the following suggestions are just a joke. No one should actually\u00a0do<\/em>\u00a0any of these. Certainly, definitely, absolutely, probably not.<\/p>\n

Option No. 1: If not for you meddling kids.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Cast size: 4<\/p>\n

Props required: purple dress, bulky rust-colored turtleneck, large-framed eyeglasses, chartreuse V-neck, cravat. (Optional: Groovy van, Great Dane).<\/p>\n

Attend Hell House event dressed as Velma Dinkley, Norville \u201cShaggy\u201d Rogers, Fred Jones, and Daphne Blake.<\/p>\n

When the first demonic characters appear, Velma loses her glasses and stumbles, blindly into the performance space. After she blunders into the \u201cdemons,\u201d Fred and Daphne step forward to unmask them, after which\u00a0Shaggy says, \u201cZoinks! It\u2019s the youth pastor!\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Click through to read his other suggestions<\/a>.\u00a0And don\u2019t stop before you reach the bit of \u201cJesus as the Terminator\u201d suggested dialogue.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n<\/body><\/html>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Fred Clark has come up with a response to the phenomenon of conservative Christian\u00a0\u201chell houses\u201d for Halloween. His post literally made me laugh out loud. Here\u2019s how it starts: Hell Houses are an irredeemably bad idea \u2014 a combination of the very worst forms of evangelism with the very worst forms of community theater. The […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":136,"featured_media":9966,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[139,42],"tags":[1835,2148,3592,3676,3686,4511,4513,4871,10906],"class_list":["post-26643","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-fundamentalism-religion","category-humor","tag-christian","tag-conservative","tag-fred-clark","tag-fundamentalist","tag-funny","tag-hell-house","tag-hell-houses","tag-humor","tag-scooby-doo"],"yoast_head":"\nThe Harrowing of Hell House<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Fred Clark has come up with a response to the phenomenon of conservative Christian\u00a0"hell houses" for Halloween. 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