![](\"https:\/\/www.ns.umich.edu\/Releases\/2008\/Sep08\/mature_berries.jpg\")
<\/a><\/div>\n\u2026Now\u00a0Yaldabaoth had planted a garden in the east, in Eden; and there he put the man he had formed. And the\u00a0Yaldabaoth made all kinds of trees grow out of the ground\u2014trees that were pleasing to the eye and good for food. In the middle of the garden were the\u00a0bush of beans of vigor\u00a0and the tree of the knowledge of good and evil. <\/p>\n
Yaldabaoth took the man and put him in the Garden of Eden to work it and take care of it. And the\u00a0archons commanded the man, \u201cYou are free to eat from any tree in the garden; but you must not brew the beans of the bush of vigor, for\u00a0if you drink\u00a0of it you will surely die.\u201d <\/p>\n
Yaldabaoth\u00a0said, \u201cIt is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.\u201d So\u00a0he caused the man to fall into a deep sleep; and while he was sleeping, he took one of the man\u2019s ribs and closed up the place with flesh. Then the LORD God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man. But this day was the start of daylight saving\u2019s time, and the man slept for an hour less than he normally would have, and when he awoke his wound was still sore, and his pain caused him to become angry against Yaldabaoth and against the woman he had created. For\u00a0the man\u00a0was very grumpy in the morning, especially when he was deprived of an hour\u2019s sleep for no good reason\u2026<\/p>\n
Now the serpent was more\u00a0caffeinated than any of the wild animals\u00a0Yaldabaoth had made. He said to the woman, \u201cDid God really say, \u2018You must not eat from any tree in the garden, and you must lose an hour of sleep every day\u2019?\u201d <\/p>\n
The woman said to the serpent, \u201cWe may eat fruit from the trees in the garden,\u00a0but God did say, \u2018You must not\u00a0brew the fruit of the bush\u00a0that is in the middle of the garden, and you must not touch it, or you will die.\u2019 He also said, \u2018You must set your clocks ahead one hour tonight.\u2019 \u201d <\/p>\n
\u201cYou will not surely die,\u201d the serpent said to the woman. \u201cFor God knows that when you\u00a0drink of it your eyes will be opened, and you will be awake, able to stay up late into the night pondering good and evil, including the evil of daylight saving\u2019s time, when you are deprived of sleep.\u201d <\/p>\n
When the woman saw that the fruit of the\u00a0bush had a delightful aroma, and was also desirable for gaining wisdom, she took some and\u00a0brewed it. She also gave\u00a0a\u00a0cup\u00a0to her husband, who was with her, and he\u00a0drank it. Then the eyes of both of them were opened, and they realized they\u00a0had been deprived unfairly of an hour\u2019s sleep, and would not get it back until half a year later. And so they went and tried to take an afternoon nap; but they could not, for the beverage they\u00a0had drunk prevented them from\u00a0sleeping.<\/p>\n
When Yaldabaoth\u00a0saw\u00a0what had transpired, he\u00a0said, \u201cThe man has now become like one of us, being able to stay awake forever. He must not be allowed to reach out his hand and take also from the tree of knowledge, and know good and evil.\u201d So\u00a0Yaldabaoth banished him from the Garden of Eden to work the ground from which he had been taken. After he drove the man out, he reminded them to set their clocks ahead one hour. And he placed on the east side of the Garden of Eden\u00a0a Starbucks,\u00a0with expensive prices\u00a0to guard the way to the beverage brewed from the fruit of the bush of vigor.<\/p>\n
<\/div>\n<\/body><\/html>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"An ancient Gnostic\u00a0reworking of Genesis (from which I will provide excerpts here) seems to provide an account of the origin of daylight saving\u2019s time. Here\u2019s the text (which in some places is fragmentary): \u2026Now\u00a0Yaldabaoth had planted a garden in the east, in Eden; and there he put the man he had formed. And the\u00a0Yaldabaoth made […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":136,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2932","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"yoast_head":"\n