{"id":34230,"date":"2016-04-04T12:57:28","date_gmt":"2016-04-04T16:57:28","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/admin.patheos.com\/blogs\/exploringourmatrix\/?p=34230"},"modified":"2016-07-22T11:06:35","modified_gmt":"2016-07-22T15:06:35","slug":"eisenbrauns-april-fools-day-specials","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/religionprof\/2016\/04\/eisenbrauns-april-fools-day-specials.html","title":{"rendered":"Eisenbrauns’ April Fools Day Specials"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<\/head>

I didn\u2019t\u00a0manage to blog these on April 1st, but they are still worth sharing. Eisenbrauns has a long history of advertising spoof products on their website<\/a> on April 1st. This year they continued that delightful tradition with the following:<\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/p>\n

Eisenbrauns Announces Fairshare Festschriften\u2122<\/h2>\n

Posted April 1, 2016<\/p>\n

Get the recognition you deserve, today!<\/strong><\/p>\n

Experiencing Festschrift envy?<\/em><\/strong>\u00a0Your colleague down the hall has two Festschriften and you have only one\u2014and it\u2019s still in editorial! Covet not longer! Eisenbrauns has the answer in our new Fairshare Festschrift\u2122 Program.<\/p>\n

How it works<\/h3>\n

Eisenbrauns will require all our established authors to submit a short, 15\u201325 page article on a topic of their choice. These articles will go into a repository, available to scholars wishing to create their own Festschrift. For a small placement fee,* a scholar can create their own topical Festschrift to add to their list of accomplishments. Imagine the look on your colleague\u2019s face when you surpass him! Remember, whoever dies with the most Festschriften wins!<\/p>\n

Sorry, at this time we are limiting the number of Festschriften per customer to three. We don\u2019t wish to begin a Festschriften race\u2014we just want all scholars to have their Fairshare.\u2122<\/p>\n

*Eisenbrauns will share the revenue with the contributing authors.<\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/p>\n

\"Your<\/a><\/p>\n

Your Basic Bible<\/i><\/b><\/a><\/h2>\n

Edited by I. M. A. Fungi<\/h3>\n

Winged Bull Press, Forthcoming, Summer 2016<\/p>\n

xvii + 666 pages, English<\/p>\n

Cloth, 6 x 9<\/p>\n

ISBN: APRIL2016C<\/p>\n

Description<\/h2>\n

For years people have been telling us that they just want a basic Bible. Winged Bull Press turned the project over to a team of editors, headed by I.M.A. Fungi (affectionately known as \u2018Shrooms). The result wasn\u2019t quite what we expected. Seems they took us to mean a BASIC Bible:<\/p>\n

REM \/\/ \u2014 Genesis 1:1-5<\/p>\n

REM \/\/ \u2014 declare global variables, assign values \u2014<\/p>\n

DECLARE Heaven;<\/p>\n

DECLARE Earth;<\/p>\n

DECLARE Deep;<\/p>\n

VAL(Earth) = null<\/p>\n

Deep.surface.color = RGB 0,0,0<\/p>\n

LOCATE floor(Spirit_of_God) = Deep.surface + 2<\/p>\n

DECLARE Light<\/p>\n

VAL(Light) = TRUE<\/p>\n

REM \/\/ \u2014 Tested output of Light. I like it. It\u2019s good. \u2013GOD<\/p>\n

IF Light = TRUE THEN Day = Day + 1<\/p>\n

IF Light = FALSE THEN Night = Night + 1<\/p>\n

GOSUB Morning<\/p>\n

GOSUB Evening<\/p>\n

PRINT \u201cFirst Day\u201d<\/p>\n

www.eisenbrauns.com\/item\/APRIL2016C<\/a><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/p>\n

\"Create<\/a><\/p>\n

Create Your Own Noah\u2019s Ark Fossils<\/i><\/b><\/a><\/h2>\n

Caution: This this is heavy and will incur additional freight charges<\/p>\n

Description<\/h3>\n

Winged Bull Press proudly announces the \u201cCreate Your Own Noah\u2019s Ark Fossils\u201d kit!<\/p>\n

Following on the unparalleled success of our Do it yourself Ossuary Kit, we now proudly present the \u201cCreate Your Own Noah\u2019s Ark Fossils\u201d kit. Yes, you too can be the center of media attention! With our Create Your Own Noah\u2019s Ark Fossils kit, you can fill your yard with fossils from before Noah\u2019s Ark. The easy step-by-step instructions cover such essentials as how to bury them in a convincing manner, how to dig them up, and even a list of experts to call to verify them as authentic, as well as a list of gullible<\/span> credible media sources to contact to get the word out! Some assembly required, not recommended for children.<\/p>\n

Watch for the new supplemental kit: Unicorn Fossils, complete with horn! Coming soon!<\/p>\n

Winged Bull Press, 2016<\/p>\n

ISBN: APRIL2016B<\/p>\n

www.eisenbrauns.com\/item\/APRIL2016B<\/a><\/p>\n

If you\u2019ve read this far and still haven\u2019t had enough, click through for a volume on ancient cell phone bills<\/a>\u2026<\/p>\n<\/body><\/html>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I didn\u2019t\u00a0manage to blog these on April 1st, but they are still worth sharing. Eisenbrauns has a long history of advertising spoof products on their website on April 1st. This year they continued that delightful tradition with the following: \u00a0 Eisenbrauns Announces Fairshare Festschriften\u2122 Posted April 1, 2016 Get the recognition you deserve, today! Experiencing […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":136,"featured_media":37345,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[42],"tags":[737,2992],"class_list":["post-34230","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-humor","tag-april-fools-day","tag-eisenbrauns"],"yoast_head":"\nEisenbrauns' April Fools Day Specials<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"I didn't\u00a0manage to blog these on April 1st, but they are still worth sharing. 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