Maybe you\u2019ve been to Yellowstone and seen Old Faithful? \u00a0That\u2019s the one that gushes on schedule, the heat of the earth bursting out every 70 minutes or so. \u00a0Other geysers are less predictable. \u00a0We were walking past one in the frigid mountain air of November \u201995 when one busted up, baptizing my oldest daughter in sulfur. \u00a0You just never know when the depths will come pouring out.<\/p>\n
This past weekend was a soul geyser. \u00a0My sister, my only sibling, died in 1995, just a week before we moved to Seattle, and a week after we\u2019d been with her and her family down in Bakersfield, CA. \u00a0She left four children, none of them yet even in their teens, and a gaping hole in my heart as we were just getting to know each other as adults.<\/p>\n
Ah, but life goes on. \u00a0Our respective families grew up, our life in Seattle took root, her husband remarried, a wonderful woman who became the mom to my nieces and nephews. \u00a0All of us have been building lives these past years, \u00a0but mine was two states away, which meant getting together was rare. \u00a0My niece, though, went to San Diego state and so, as speaking or conferences landed me down there, I\u2019d meet her for a meal. \u00a0Just that little connection, that hour or two every couple years, was priceless. \u00a0She graduated, met a fellow tuba player from the marching band, and this past weekend got married. \u00a0I officiated, and the day was a soul geyser, not of gushing sentiment, but of profound gratitude.<\/p>\n
I found myself giving thanks to the Lord for the way He\u2019s cared for my nephews. \u00a0Each of them have grown into marvelous men. \u00a0I gave thanks for my brother in-law too, who weathered the storm of losing his spouse at the age of 42 without becoming paralyzed by bitterness or regret. \u00a0A short but priceless conversation at the rehearsal dinner could be summed up this way: \u00a0God has been faithfu<\/strong>l<\/strong><\/em>. \u00a0I thought back to the days when I was 12 and he was dating my sister, and how I slowly became convinced that he was the best thing that ever happened to her.<\/p>\n And there\u2019s my niece. \u00a0I\u2019ve never seen a bride smile so constantly, so genuinely, so beautifully, all the wedding day long. \u00a0She and her new husband are both tenderhearted people who laugh and cry easily. \u00a0It\u2019s beautiful to behold. \u00a0I did the ceremony and managed to shed a tear only once, at the beginning. \u00a0Afterwards, though, when she was dancing with her dad, I had to go off by myself for a minute and shed a few more tears of sorrow because I so wished my sister could be there to share this day, and because I miss her still, and this day more then any other, brought the \u2018missing\u2019 to the surface. \u00a0But intermingled were tears of joy because look at it all: Fifteen years later and here we all are, dancing, celebrating love, new great-nieces and -nephews storming around, climbing trellises and playing in the dirt. Life has gone on, but not just gone on \u2013 it\u2019s gone on beautifully. \u00a0 \u201cMy God \u2013 you have been good.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n And that\u2019s the way of it. \u00a0Sorrow and joy, intermingled. \u00a0Loss and celebration, woven in the cord of life, sometimes so closely together that you can\u2019t tell the one from the other. \u00a0I came away from the weekend realizing that there runs, in all of us most likely, a deep river of feeling. \u00a0I understand that we can\u2019t let that river be the sole life force that governs us; we\u2019d be paralyzed and overwhelmed if we did. \u00a0But sometimes the deep will burst forth, and we\u2019ll find ourselves grieving loss, or celebrating beauty, or terribly lonely or grateful, or maybe all of it at once. \u00a0When that happens, we\u2019re richer for stepping into it. \u00a0When it comes to soul geysers, control is vastly overrated.<\/p>\n Thank you, Shepherd of our souls, for the mingling of joy and sorrow that runs so deeply in our souls. \u00a0The sorrow makes us long for wholeness, long for the day when death will be conquered and all will be whole. \u00a0The joy makes us grateful for the hints of eternity, for the way you\u2019ve made us to cherish intimacy, beauty, hope, laughter. \u00a0Grant that we might run from neither, in order that the soul river running deep, might become the nourishment waters our life in You. \u00a0And thanks for the wedding, and your shepherding of my family. \u00a0It was, and is, marvelous. <\/em><\/p>\n Amen\u2026and Amen. <\/em><\/p>\n<\/body><\/html>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Maybe you\u2019ve been to Yellowstone and seen Old Faithful? \u00a0That\u2019s the one that gushes on schedule, the heat of the earth bursting out every 70 minutes or so. \u00a0Other geysers are less predictable. \u00a0We were walking past one in the frigid mountain air of November \u201995 when one busted up, baptizing my oldest daughter in […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":84,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[9,13],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-621","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-intimacy","category-life"],"yoast_head":"\n