{"id":891,"date":"2011-07-30T01:05:44","date_gmt":"2011-07-30T05:05:44","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/sarahoverthemoon.wordpress.com\/?p=891"},"modified":"2011-07-30T01:05:44","modified_gmt":"2011-07-30T05:05:44","slug":"an-egalitarian-submits","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/sarahoverthemoon\/2011\/07\/an-egalitarian-submits\/","title":{"rendered":"An Egalitarian submits"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<\/head>

I said I wasn\u2019t going to write anything this weekend, but inspiration knocked and I answered! Plus, I felt like I needed to share these thoughts with you before I could discuss my doubts about feminism and egalitarianism.
\n<\/em><\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a>
NOT me<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

Enjoy!\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

I, Sarah Moon, the feminist, the egalitarian, the independent, 21st century woman, have a confession to make\u2026.<\/p>\n

Sometimes I clean my boyfriend\u2019s apartment.<\/p>\n

Now, if you think I do so wearing a sun dress and pearls while whistling to that song from Snow White, you\u2019ve got another thing coming (if anything, I play broom guitar while belting out Pink Floyd, but that\u2019s another story). But, believe it or not, there have been a couple of times where my boyfriend came home to a clean apartment, thanks to me.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a>
Totally me!<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

One of those times was last week. I had recently had a short relapse back into my self-injury addiction and was having a rough time as a result. My boyfriend, being the awesome guy that he is, invited me over, bought me Taco Bell, gave me a shoulder to cry on, allowed me to sleep on his couch, and let me relax (and play his video games) at his razor-blade free house while he was at work the next day.<\/p>\n

He went out of his way for me. He took care of me when I was depressed (and I am NOT fun to be around when I am depressed). So, when I was feeling better, I cleaned his apartment out of gratitude for his hospitality.<\/p>\n

Because Abraham (yes\u2026my boyfriend\u2019s name is Abraham and my name is Sarah. If you can come up with a joke about that that I haven\u2019t heard before, I\u2019ll be highly impressed!) and I hope to have a Christ-centered marriage in the future, I try to practice the principals for marriage that Paul laid out in Ephesians 5:22-25 (feminist friends, stick with me, and complementarian friends, don\u2019t get too excited)<\/p>\n

22<\/sup>\u00a0Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord.\u00a023<\/sup>\u00a0For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior.\u00a024<\/sup>\u00a0Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.\u00a025<\/sup>\u00a0Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

When Abe gives to me sacrificially (even if he\u2019s only \u201cbearing the cross\u201d of paying for my Taco Bell), I want<\/em>\u00a0to respond by giving back to him, just as I want <\/em>to give back to the Christ who gave sacrificially to me.<\/p>\n

Some people stop here. They come to this conclusion- men give, women receive. Men act, women respond. Men lead, women follow.<\/p>\n

But I think we need to back up a bit. Yup put those Bibles into reverse and take a look at verse 21.<\/p>\n

\u00a021<\/sup>\u00a0Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

One another. As in EVERYONE in the body of Christ has got to do some submitting here.<\/p>\n

Here\u2019s the thing- we\u2019re ALL called to love like Christ. And we\u2019re ALL called to submit to those who show us Christ-like love. We\u2019re all supposed to give and we\u2019re all supposed to receive gratefully. We\u2019re all supposed to act and we\u2019re all supposed to respond to action. We\u2019re all supposed to lead in some ways and all supposed to follow in others.<\/p>\n

I helped my boyfriend move into his new apartment in April.\u00a0So, he responded by returning the favor when I moved into my new house last month. He even did my dishes.<\/p>\n

See? That time I gave and he submitted.<\/p>\n

Was that wrong? Does that make me a usurper of male authority? Does it make my boyfriend \u201cwhipped?\u201d<\/p>\n

No, no, and no!\u00a0I don\u2019t carry a whip in this relationship, and neither does he. We don\u2019t have to, because there is mutual giving and mutual submission.<\/p>\n

Now, sometimes, one gender may have to give more.\u00a0In Paul\u2019s time, most women had less to give, unfortunately. They had almost no political power and were treated very much like property. Paul must have seen the Spiderman movie, because he recognized that men had more power and therefore gave them more responsibility.<\/p>\n

Paul\u2019s words are still relevant today. But things have changed.<\/p>\n

Women have more power today than they did (speaking as an American. Tragically, things are even worse than they were in Paul\u2019s day for some countries), and to suggest that women shouldn\u2019t use that power based on Ephesians 5 is to miss Paul\u2019s point which is this:<\/p>\n

Give to the weaker vessel. That\u2019s what Christ did.<\/p>\n

The \u201cweaker vessel\u201d isn\u2019t always the woman in this culture. In most relationships, a husband will be weaker in some areas of life and a wife will be weaker in others. And, no, there are no areas where a man should <\/em>be stronger or vise-versa. Gender roles are silly. Individual roles, based on each person\u2019s own strengths and personality, are the way to go!<\/p>\n

So, man or woman, husband or wife- if you have something to give the world, give it!<\/p>\n

And man or woman, husband or wife- follow the example of those who give to you by giving back.<\/p>\n

It\u2019s not about power.<\/p>\n

It\u2019s about continuing a cycle of love.<\/p>\n<\/body><\/html>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I said I wasn\u2019t going to write anything this weekend, but inspiration knocked and I answered! Plus, I felt like I needed to share these thoughts with you before I could discuss my doubts about feminism and egalitarianism. Enjoy!\u00a0 I, Sarah Moon, the feminist, the egalitarian, the independent, 21st century woman, have a confession to […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1504,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[58,13,127,154,169,12],"class_list":["post-891","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized","tag-bible","tag-christianity","tag-egalitarianism","tag-feminism-2","tag-gender-roles","tag-relationships"],"yoast_head":"\nAn Egalitarian submits<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"I said I wasn't going to write anything this weekend, but inspiration knocked and I answered! 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