{"id":608,"date":"2015-11-25T14:38:49","date_gmt":"2015-11-25T14:38:49","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/admin.patheos.com\/blogs\/sarahthebarge\/2015\/11\/2015-11-the-invisible-girls-first-thanksgiving\/"},"modified":"2018-02-09T16:46:44","modified_gmt":"2018-02-09T16:46:44","slug":"2015-11-the-invisible-girls-first-thanksgiving","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/sarahthebarge\/2015\/11\/2015-11-the-invisible-girls-first-thanksgiving\/","title":{"rendered":"the invisible girls&#8217; first thanksgiving"},"content":{"rendered":"<!DOCTYPE html PUBLIC \"-\/\/W3C\/\/DTD HTML 4.0 Transitional\/\/EN\" \"http:\/\/www.w3.org\/TR\/REC-html40\/loose.dtd\">\n<html><head><meta http-equiv=\"content-type\" content=\"text\/html; charset=utf-8\"><meta http-equiv=\"content-type\" content=\"text\/html; charset=utf-8\"><\/head><body><p><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/static1.squarespace.com\/static\/58ded737ff7c50424d8e8f9a\/59c9e1977e2a5f917af8ffc0\/59c9e1987e2a5f917af90317\/1506406787948\/Screen-Shot-2015-11-25-at-5.37.41-PM.png.41-PM.png?format=original\" alt=\"\"><\/p>\n<p>Of all the stories I\u2019ve told about the <a href=\"http:\/\/store.givingtons.com\/products\/the-invisible-girls-a-memoir-by-sarah-thebarge\" target=\"_blank\" class=\" decorated-link\" rel=\"nofollow\">Invisible Girls<\/a>, this is far and away one of my favorites! \u00a0Especially this year, let\u2019s think about what it means to be, and to care for, our country\u2019s refugees.<br>\n***<\/p>\n<p>Two months after I met the Somali family, the older girls came home from school and told me they\u2019d started learning about the American holiday Thanksgiving at school, and asked me to tell them more about it.<\/p>\n<p>The first explanation I thought of \u2013 that every year Americans kill 45 million turkeys to celebrate that half of the Pilgrims who came to America didn\u2019t die during the first winter\u2013 sounded ridiculous. So instead of trying to explain it further, I said, \u201cHow would you like to celebrate Thanksgiving with me this year?\u201d They were ecstatic.<\/p>\n<p>Every time I went over to their apartment in the weeks leading up to Thanksgiving, they\u2019d race to get their coats and shoes, yelling, \u201cWe go to your house TODAY?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Every time I\u2019d shake my head and say, \u201cNope, not today.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>On the morning of Thanksgiving, my housemate Betsy and I drove over to their apartment to pick them up \u2013 we needed two cars to transport the six of them. When we knocked on the door, the girls all came running. Hadhi opened the door and motioned for us to come inside. I held my arms out and called, \u201cWho wants to go to my house today?\u201d They screamed and clamored to get their shoes on.<\/p>\n<p><!--more--><\/p>\n<p><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/static1.squarespace.com\/static\/58ded737ff7c50424d8e8f9a\/59c9e1977e2a5f917af8ffc0\/59c9e1987e2a5f917af90315\/1506406781953\/564900_10150728794649764_2081859862_n.jpg\" alt=\"564900_10150728794649764_2081859862_n\" class=\"aligncenter  wp-image-2077\"><\/p>\n<p>I brought a bag filled with hats and mittens, and once they had their shoes and coats on I handed out the items \u2013 partly because I thought they might like the thought of getting \u201cdressed up\u201d to come to my place, and partly because they didn\u2019t own any winter gear.<\/p>\n<p>We piled into the two cars, and drove to my townhouse. My other housemate Karrie had made the turkey, and when Betsy and the family and I got home, a bounty of turkey, stuffing, sweet potatoes, green beans, and bread was waiting for us.<\/p>\n<p>We made each person a plate, then sat together in a circle on a blanket in the living room. We gave a quick thanks for the food and for each of them, and then started eating. Just like the night we ate pasta, the girls tried using a fork for a few minutes, and then gave up and used their right hands instead.<\/p>\n<p>Some of the girls ate the new food without question, but Lelo was skeptical. She kept holding up each piece of food and asking, \u201cI can eat\u00a0<i>this?\u201d<\/i><\/p>\n<p><i>\u00a0<\/i>I nodded at each morsel and said, \u201cYes, it\u2019s okay to eat that.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Then she\u2019d hold up the next piece, \u201cI can eat\u00a0<i>this?<\/i><\/p>\n<p>Chaki ate well until she caught a glimpse of ice cream in the freezer when I reached in toget some ice cubes. For the rest of the meal, whenever I encouraged her to eat, she looked at me hopefully and raised her eyebrows. \u201cIce cream?\u201d she asked over and over. \u201cI eat your ice cream?\u201d<\/p>\n<p><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/static1.squarespace.com\/static\/58ded737ff7c50424d8e8f9a\/59c9e1977e2a5f917af8ffc0\/59c9e1987e2a5f917af90313\/1506406788191\/Screen-Shot-2015-11-25-at-5.33.00-PM.png.00-PM.png?format=original\" alt=\"Screen Shot 2015-11-25 at 5.33.00 PM\" class=\"aligncenter  wp-image-2076\"><\/p>\n<p>When everyone had finished eating, we cleared away the dishes. My friend Karina and her husband Dan came over with their two towheaded, blue-eyed little boys, who were three and six. We all ate dessert together, sitting in a big circle on the living room floor. The girls devoured their \u201cbumpkin pie\u201d and vanilla ice cream, and then played together with their new American friends. Some of them colored together at the dining room table, while some played with a wooden doll house and chairs that were donated by some families at my church.<\/p>\n<p>When it got dark, we decided to pack everyone up and drive them home. It was getting near the girls\u2019 bedtime, and we still had a surprise for them.<\/p>\n<p><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/static1.squarespace.com\/static\/58ded737ff7c50424d8e8f9a\/59c9e1977e2a5f917af8ffc0\/59c9e1987e2a5f917af9030d\/1506406786071\/Screen-Shot-2015-11-25-at-5.13.40-PM.png.40-PM.png?format=original\" alt=\"Screen Shot 2015-11-25 at 5.13.40 PM\" class=\"aligncenter  wp-image-2073\"><\/p>\n<div>\u00a0***<\/div>\n<div><\/div>\n<div>\n<p>Two weeks before Thanksgiving, I spoke about the Somali family at church, and the congregation gave more than a thousand dollars to the Change for a Dollar fund that day. I used the donated money to buy everything Hadhi and the girls needed for their sparse apartment \u2013 a futon, a reading chair, a rug, clean clothes, closet organizers, more blankets, pillows, bath towels, cleaning supplies, silverware, and food.<\/p>\n<p>To make the new household supplies more exciting, I decided to give everything to the family on Thanksgiving night, like a small-scale version of\u00a0<em>Extreme Home Makeover.\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n<p>My housemates and Karina and I piled Hadhi and the girls, as well as all of the new supplies, in our cars. \u00a0We drove the caravan from my house to the apartment, and began to unload everything. \u00a0It was humbling to watch the little girls shriek with excitement over silverware and bath towels.<\/p>\n<p>A few hours later, we\u2019d helped Hadhi clean the kitchen and bathroom with the new cleaning supplies, set up house, bathed the girls, and put everyone in clean clothes. Four of the girls sat together on their new living room rug in their clean pajamas, wrapped up in their fleece blankets, watching\u00a0<i>The Incredibles<\/i>.<\/p>\n<p>I went into the bedroom to finish putting their clothes into the closet organizers we\u2019d bought for them, and I found six-year-old Sadaka sitting in the corner. She was not her usual giggling self; instead, she had a pained look on her face, and she held a large, ratty Michael Jordan jersey against her cheek.<\/p>\n<p><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/static1.squarespace.com\/static\/58ded737ff7c50424d8e8f9a\/59c9e1977e2a5f917af8ffc0\/59c9e1987e2a5f917af9030f\/1506406784942\/Screen-Shot-2015-11-25-at-5.08.43-PM.png.43-PM.png?format=original\" alt=\"Screen Shot 2015-11-25 at 5.08.43 PM\" class=\"aligncenter  wp-image-2074\"><\/p>\n<p>\u201cYou can\u2019t keep that shirt,\u201d I said as I tried to gently take it from her. \u201cIt\u2019s stained, and it\u2019s way too big for you.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>She looked around the room, making sure that her mom and sisters were out of earshot. When she saw that we were alone, she motioned for me to come sit next to her. Then she cupped her hand around my ear, leaned in close, and whispered, \u201cCan I tell you a secret?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cOf course,\u201d I said.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cThis shirt is my dad\u2019s,\u201d she said. \u201cI kept it when he went away.\u201d Still holding the jersey, she climbed into my lap, and tears welled up in her big brown eyes.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cDo you miss your daddy?\u201d I asked her.<\/p>\n<p>She nodded, and her tears spilled onto my shirt.<\/p>\n<p>I kissed the top of her head, and held her for a long time, until she\u2019d finished crying. When she was done, she wiped her eyes with her sleeve, then leaned close to my ear and whispered, \u201cCan I tell you another secret?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cOf course,\u201d I said. \u201cYou can tell me anything.\u201d \u201cI love you, Sahara.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cI love you too, baby.\u201d I hugged her closer. \u201cI love you, too.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>As I drove home that night, I thought about the meaning of the original Thanksgiving, how its participants celebrated that natives were willing to help foreign settlers who\u2019d come to a new country without the means of surviving its perils. I thought about the mixed emotions the Pilgrims must have had that day \u2013 the joy that half of their group had survived, and the sadness that half of their group had died.<\/p>\n<p><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/static1.squarespace.com\/static\/58ded737ff7c50424d8e8f9a\/59c9e1977e2a5f917af8ffc0\/59c9e1977e2a5f917af90112\/1506406675535\/fivegirls.jpg\" alt=\"fivegirls\" class=\"aligncenter  wp-image-1208\"><\/p>\n<p>On the familiar route from the apartment to my house, I thought about how I would explain Thanksgiving to someone if they asked me after tonight.<\/p>\n<p>I decided I would show them the joy of new hats and gloves, a ride in my car, plates of turkey and stuffing eaten by Somali refugee children on a blanket in my living room, and an apartment filled with new clothes and enough supplies to get an African family through a Pacific Northwest winter. And I would show them the sadness of a little girl holding a tattered shirt against her cheek, weeping at the memory of the one who didn\u2019t make it.<\/p>\n<p><strong><i>This,\u00a0<\/i>I would say.\u00a0<i>Thanksgiving is this.<\/i><\/strong><\/p>\n<p>***<\/p>\n<p>The above is an excerpt from my memoir, <i><a href=\"http:\/\/store.givingtons.com\/products\/the-invisible-girls-a-memoir-by-sarah-thebarge\" target=\"_blank\" class=\" decorated-link\" rel=\"nofollow\">The Invisible Girls.<\/a><\/i>\u00a0 <a href=\"http:\/\/store.givingtons.com\/products\/the-invisible-girls-a-memoir-by-sarah-thebarge\" target=\"_blank\" class=\" decorated-link\" rel=\"nofollow\">Click here to purchase<\/a> a copy (or three!) \u00a0All the proceeds from the book go towards a college fund for the Somali girls.<\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center\">Happy Thanksgiving!!!<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center\">\n<\/p><p style=\"text-align: center\"><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/static1.squarespace.com\/static\/58ded737ff7c50424d8e8f9a\/59c9e1977e2a5f917af8ffc0\/59c9e1987e2a5f917af90311\/1506406786810\/Screen-Shot-2015-11-25-at-5.29.38-PM.png.38-PM.png?format=original\" alt=\"Screen Shot 2015-11-25 at 5.29.38 PM\" class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-2075\"><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/body><\/html>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Of all the stories I\u2019ve told about the Invisible Girls, this is far and away one of my favorites! \u00a0Especially this year, let\u2019s think about what it means to be, and to care for, our country\u2019s refugees. *** Two months after I met the Somali family, the older girls came home from school and told [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3133,"featured_media":616,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[307,3052,679,3055,3058,3061,178,100,172,1042,3064,559,3067,1489],"class_list":["post-608","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-uncategorized","tag-america","tag-dinner","tag-family","tag-native-americans","tag-paris-attacks","tag-pilgrims","tag-refugees","tag-sarah-thebarge","tag-somalia","tag-syria","tag-thanksgiving","tag-the-invisible-girls","tag-thursday","tag-turkey"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v21.1 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>the invisible girls&#039; first thanksgiving<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Of all the stories I&#039;ve told about the Invisible Girls, this is far and away one of my favorites! \u00a0Especially this year, let&#039;s think about what it means\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/sarahthebarge\/2015\/11\/2015-11-the-invisible-girls-first-thanksgiving\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"the invisible girls&#039; first thanksgiving\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Of all the stories I&#039;ve told about the Invisible Girls, this is far and away one of my favorites! \u00a0Especially this year, let&#039;s think about what it means\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/sarahthebarge\/2015\/11\/2015-11-the-invisible-girls-first-thanksgiving\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Sarah Thebarge\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2015-11-25T14:38:49+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2018-02-09T16:46:44+00:00\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Sarah Thebarge\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"Sarah Thebarge\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"7 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\/\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/sarahthebarge\/2015\/11\/2015-11-the-invisible-girls-first-thanksgiving\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/sarahthebarge\/2015\/11\/2015-11-the-invisible-girls-first-thanksgiving\/\",\"name\":\"the invisible girls' first thanksgiving\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/sarahthebarge\/#website\"},\"datePublished\":\"2015-11-25T14:38:49+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2018-02-09T16:46:44+00:00\",\"author\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/sarahthebarge\/#\/schema\/person\/c74e9b1c6e50505a55dce66de2935c3e\"},\"description\":\"Of all the stories I've told about the Invisible Girls, this is far and away one of my favorites! 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