{"id":39,"date":"2017-10-08T04:28:50","date_gmt":"2017-10-08T04:28:50","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/admin.patheos.com\/blogs\/scatteringsunshine\/?p=39"},"modified":"2018-06-05T06:30:36","modified_gmt":"2018-06-05T12:30:36","slug":"what-i-learned-being-thrown-out-of-church","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/scatteringsunshine\/2017\/10\/what-i-learned-being-thrown-out-of-church\/","title":{"rendered":"What I Learned Being Thrown Out of Church"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<\/head>

Several years ago a woman I never got along with was asked to lead the women\u2019s organization (Relief Society) in my congregation (Ward). She was a former high school teacher who had \u2018school marm\u2019 written all over her. And she was not afraid to shun those she felt didn\u2019t live up to her ambiguous standards. I honestly never understood this woman. We had worked together, and there was never any pleasing her. It was \u2018my way or the highway.\u2019 And I get a little rebellious when people are unreasonable like that, so I resisted her.<\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/p>\n

\"study-2166061_640When she was called to lead the ladies, she decided that those who didn\u2019t fit in didn\u2019t belong. In the weeks prior to the big blow-up, I admit that I was not at my best. Then came the week where the sister sitting next to me had a spider drop from the ceiling right in front of her face. We both shrieked, and interrupted the lesson. The very next Sunday this Relief Society president pulled me out of class before it started, and dramatically brought me down the hall for a \u201clittle chat.\u201d I should have known better, but I didn\u2019t see it coming.<\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/p>\n

In that \u201cchat\u201d she told me that she respected me, but that she needed to invite me not to come to Relief Society anymore until I could be an asset to the class. She brought up years of her personal issues with me to support her argument. OUCH. I\u2019m sorry but I\u2019m a good student. \u00a0I participate, and I listen. I was SO HURT by her rude and uninformed decision to personally invite me to leave. And I have struggled with this conversation for YEARS. But I have learned a few things from that experience, and the time afterward, that I need to share.<\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/p>\n

1- The Church is true, despite the members.<\/strong><\/h3>\n

\u00a0<\/p>\n

My Relief Society president was not the reason I was going to church. I made covenants with Jesus Christ, and He was the reason I went. I went to feel the Holy Ghost and to learn to be more like God. In the weeks immediately following this woman\u2019s rude dis-invitation, I completely avoided Relief Society. I went to church because I wanted to worship my God. But Relief Society was optional. And I could not stand to see her face.<\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/p>\n

This philosophy is a little different than what I understand is common in other Christian churches. My sister-in-law is Protestant and she said that you go to the congregation that you feel the most at home with. That for her the church family is as important as what is being taught. Mormons<\/a> go to the congregation they are assigned to, and that is by geographical location. There are special circumstances, but generally, you go where you are assigned. And every congregation teaches the same things. We even have our Sunday School lesson schedule so that it\u2019s all coordinated. It\u2019s cool!<\/p>\n

2- I HAD to forgive this woman, for myself.<\/strong><\/h3>\n

\u00a0<\/p>\n

I still don\u2019t talk to my Relief Society president. \"old-people-753591_640\"But I have learned that I have to forgive her. Holding a grudge is like taking poison while hoping to kill someone else. It doesn\u2019t work. It only poisons your soul. I wish that I could say that this Relief Society president has been reassigned, or that she has stopped being intentionally offensive. But she hasn\u2019t. She has continued to do things that hurt and offend me and my friends.<\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/p>\n

I felt justified after the last event to just stay mad at her. But then I heard a talk in General Conference by Jeffery R Holland. He explained the parable of the servant who was forgiven for his debt, but wouldn\u2019t forgive another servant. Elder Holland explained that this servant owed the Master the equivalent of a billion dollars, but then would not forgive a $100 debt.<\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/p>\n

In the end, this servant who had been forgiven so much was delivered to the tormentors for his mistake. God has commanded us to forgive. And I know that my sins easily equal a billion dollars in spiritual cash. So I HAVE to forgive my Relief Society president, even though I don\u2019t want to, and I don\u2019t think she deserves forgiveness. You see, I owe too much to risk the Lord ever calling in my spiritual debt.<\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/p>\n

3- I made a mistake that opened my eyes.<\/strong><\/h3>\n

\u00a0<\/p>\n

I have recently joined a Homeschool Co-op. And I get to teach classes periodically. One day I was feeling flustered and was trying to evenly distribute children on tables so that they would have room to work on a project we were doing. One little boy ran into class late and happened to sit in the exact seat I had been trying to get another to sit in. So I asked him to move. He dug in his heels and absolutely refused.<\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/p>\n

\"people-2597796_640\"I had no idea his seat meant so much to him, so I moved on with the lesson. But it has become clear in the weeks that followed that I hurt this boy\u2019s feelings. I didn\u2019t mean to. And I intend to make a real effort to make it up to him, including apologizing at my next opportunity. But it would make me very sad if that one moment of my weakness tainted the whole year for this young boy.<\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/p>\n

I can see now that my Relief Society president may not have meant to hurt my feelings. I choose to think that she was just doing what she thought was best. And I\u2019m going to let the Lord be the one to determine if her heart was in the right place.<\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/p>\n

We must forgive others<\/h3>\n

\u00a0<\/p>\n

Do you see why I have to forgive? I may not want to. I may not feel kindness and warm fuzzy feelings toward this woman, at least not at the beginning. But I have to let the poison in my heart go. I have to make a conscious choice to drop it and walk away.<\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/p>\n

I want the Spirit to have a place in my soul. So I am choosing to take the Savior\u2019s hand, and live as He has asked me to. With God\u2019s help, I can do this. And as I forgive and let go of the darkness, I will feel happier. I will feel free, and peaceful. I pray that if you are faced with a similar situation that you will be able to find the strength to join me in making the same decision. For as the Lord said in Matthew 11:29 & 30,<\/a><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/p>\n

29. \u00a0Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls.<\/p>\n

30. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

\u00a0<\/p>\n

I\u2019ll take that deal anytime. Because life with the Savior\u2019s support is MUCH easier.<\/p>\n<\/body><\/html>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Several years ago a woman I never got along with was asked to lead the women\u2019s organization (Relief Society) in my congregation (Ward). She was a former high school teacher who had \u2018school marm\u2019 written all over her. And she was not afraid to shun those she felt didn\u2019t live up to her ambiguous standards. […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3521,"featured_media":44,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[8],"tags":[5],"class_list":["post-39","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-overcoming-trials","tag-church"],"yoast_head":"\nWhat I Learned Being Thrown out of Church<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"My Relief Society president was not the reason I was going to church. I made covenants with Jesus Christ, and He was the reason I went. 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I'm Abby Christianson, a transplanted Mormon living the dream. In my life, I've lived in seven different US states and visited other countries. And the thing that amazes me is that in every place I've been the LDS (Mormon) church is the same. The people have hearts of gold, and their love for the Savior is unchanging. But for some reason, people still think Mormons are weird, backward, and sometimes even Amish. I'm here to try to help clear up the misconceptions about Mormons by showing you that we are just like you. We love our families, eat junk food, love movies, and spend time with friends. And just like you, our faith and values go deep. So join me as I keep trying to scatter sunshine everywhere I go. And hopefully, you'll find your faith in Christ strengthened along the way. Autism and more I'm also here to talk about Autism, and being an Autism Mom. There were few resources online when my son was diagnosed. So I want to be a support to those parents who are trying to figure out their child, and how best to support them. My wonderful son stretches me and helps me grow every day. I love being his mother and the things that make him unique. In 2020, every autism service stopped. So I got trained to be an RBT (Low-level autism therapist) with BehaviorUniversity.com. It has made homeschooling and doing at-home ABA easier as I understand my son better. They have some courses for parents to help them understand autism better, and I highly recommend them if you are searching. We have been home-schooling off and on for 6 years now. And it's wonderful to see my son thriving. Education and background Although my degree is not in education, I do have degrees from BYU Idaho and Southern Utah University in public relations, interpersonal communication, and marketing. I was lucky enough to get to teach a couple of freshman classes at SUU as part of my senior project. I have the best memories of those times. And it showed me how much I love to teach. While at SUU I was on the debate team. I wasn\u2019t great, but I loved the team and the feeling of unity we had. As a member of the Lambda Delta Signa sorority, I spent a year as VP of my chapter. I served on Institute Council and in leadership with my choir. And I was a member of the Lambda Pi Eta honor society. Funny enough, I was nominated as SUU\u2019s personality of the year in my senior year because I was so involved When my son was small I was part of the PTA at bus school \u00a0I even served on the PTA board and taught art classes to the kids. \u00a0I also volunteered to help out in the cafeteria. And I was a \u2018recess duty\u2019 meaning I got to be outside as a responsible adult during recess I love to write and wrote for LDSblogs.com as Abby Christianson and as Patty Sampson for many years. I took over editing LDS Blogs when our beloved editor Terri Bittner passed away suddenly from brain cancer in 2017. Then in 2020, LDSblogs.com stopped publishing after the pandemic affected their funding. But they are still online and some great stories are there if you are interested. I'm a lifelong member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. I've been married for 23 years, and a mother for 15 years. I love people and creating in any capacity I can. I hope you'll join me as we navigate this crazy world we live in.","url":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/scatteringsunshine\/author\/achristianson\/"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/scatteringsunshine\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/39","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/scatteringsunshine\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/scatteringsunshine\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/scatteringsunshine\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3521"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/scatteringsunshine\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=39"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/scatteringsunshine\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/39\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/scatteringsunshine\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/44"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/scatteringsunshine\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=39"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/scatteringsunshine\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=39"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/scatteringsunshine\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=39"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}