{"id":2132,"date":"2014-09-01T05:01:40","date_gmt":"2014-09-01T09:01:40","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/admin.patheos.com\/blogs\/sermonsfromthemound\/?p=2132"},"modified":"2014-09-01T16:32:36","modified_gmt":"2014-09-01T20:32:36","slug":"anti-kink-and-transphobia-have-no-place-in-paganism","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/sermonsfromthemound\/2014\/09\/anti-kink-and-transphobia-have-no-place-in-paganism\/","title":{"rendered":"Anti-kink and transphobia have no place in Paganism"},"content":{"rendered":"<!DOCTYPE html PUBLIC \"-\/\/W3C\/\/DTD HTML 4.0 Transitional\/\/EN\" \"http:\/\/www.w3.org\/TR\/REC-html40\/loose.dtd\">\n<html><head><meta http-equiv=\"content-type\" content=\"text\/html; charset=utf-8\"><meta http-equiv=\"content-type\" content=\"text\/html; charset=utf-8\"><\/head><body><p><a href=\"http:\/\/thehouseofvines.com\/2014\/08\/31\/is-z-budapest-a-terrorist\/\" target=\"_blank\" class=\" decorated-link\" rel=\"nofollow\">Z Budapest\u2019s latest hate-filled screed<\/a> makes me really angry.<\/p>\n<p>[<strong>Update<\/strong>: <a href=\"http:\/\/imramma.com\/2014\/08\/paganism-this-umbrella-is-broken.html#comment-5599\" target=\"_blank\" class=\" decorated-link\" rel=\"nofollow\">actual link to actual comment<\/a>]<\/p>\n<p>It was feminists like Budapest who made it hard for people, especially feminists, to come out as kinky in the seventies, eighties, and nineties. With their statements that you are a failure as a feminist if you engage in kink, especially dominance and submission play, they made a lot of kinky feminists feel alone, marginalised, and ashamed. It is hard enough to come to terms with being kinky in the prevailing culture without having your own communities attacking you. People in kink-excluding communities, who have to remain in the closet, live in fear of being exposed as kinky, and feel marginalised, alone, and attacked. Their membership of the community feels conditional upon not coming out as kinky. Endless research studies have shown how damaging it is for LGBT people to remain closeted \u2013 surely the same applies to kinksters?<\/p>\n<p>Similarly, the biologically essentialist view of being a woman held by many second-wave feminists made it very hard for those who are gender-variant. Their rhetoric about all penetrative sex being rape obfuscated the issues around rape, made things difficult for lesbians who enjoy penetration, and for heterosexual and bisexual women who enjoy sex with men. Even other lesbians in relationships were attacked for \u201caping men\u201d.<\/p>\n<p>This is in spite of the fact that kinksters have been part of the queer liberation movement from the outset. In spite of the fact that the BDSM community is very strong on consent (obviously there are some who don\u2019t walk the talk, but that is the case in all communities). The watchwords of kinksters are \u2018Safe, Sane, and Consensual\u2019.<\/p>\n<p>The power play in kink involving dominance and submission (D\/s) subverts and undermines the power dynamics of conventional power structures. Many people find the role-play aspects of BDSM liberating. All the women I know who are involved in D\/s (whether dommes or subs) are powerful women in their own right. And D\/s has very little to do with gender, in any case.<\/p>\n<p>The use of pain as a tool for spiritual and psychological transformation is an ancient shamanistic practice, and its effects \u2013 psychological, spiritual, and biochemical \u2013 are well-understood. There is a reasonable amount of research on this.<\/p>\n<p>In addition, various therapists have written on the psychological aspects of kink, and why it is not harmful for those who enjoy it.<\/p>\n<p>I would argue that kink, polyamory, and monogamy are sexual orientations in the same way as homosexuality, heterosexuality, bisexuality, and pansexuality. That means that for a kinky person to try not to be kinky is just as painful and impossible as for a gay person to try to be straight.<\/p>\n<p>It may not be your cup of tea, but at least make an effort to understand it before you write it off. In the BDSM community, there is a saying, \u201cYour kink is not my kink, but that\u2019s OK\u201d. If only other communities were as accepting and welcoming of diversity as that.<\/p>\n<p>Generally speaking, the Pagan community is accepting and welcoming of diversity, including sexual orientation, polyamory, kink, and gender variance. Let\u2019s keep it that way.<\/p>\n<p>I call upon conference organisers not to book Z Budapest as a speaker while she continues with this hate-filled rhetoric against <a href=\"http:\/\/kenazfilan.blogspot.co.uk\/2011\/10\/lilith-rite-at-pantheacon-2011-redux.html\" class=\" decorated-link\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"nofollow\">trans people<\/a> and the BDSM community.<\/p>\n<p><a href=\"http:\/\/pagantheologies.pbworks.com\/w\/page\/13622272\/SM\" target=\"_blank\" class=\" decorated-link\" rel=\"nofollow\">Further reading on BDSM<\/a><\/p>\n<\/body><\/html>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>It may not be your cup of tea, but at least make an effort to understand it before you write it off. In the BDSM community, there is a saying, &#8220;Your kink is not my kink, but that&#8217;s OK&#8221;. If only other communities were as accepting and welcoming of diversity as that.  Generally speaking, the Pagan community is accepting and welcoming of diversity, including sexual orientation, polyamory, kink, and gender variance. Let&#8217;s keep it that way.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1320,"featured_media":923,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[210],"tags":[217,221,96,327,324,13,58,325,25,326],"class_list":["post-2132","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-praxis","tag-bdsm","tag-community","tag-diversity","tag-inclusivity","tag-kink","tag-pagan","tag-pagan-community","tag-polyamory","tag-sexuality","tag-tolerance"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v21.1 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>Anti-kink and transphobia have no place in Paganism<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"It may not be your cup of tea, but at least make an effort to understand it before you write it off. In the BDSM community, there is a saying, &quot;Your kink is not my kink, but that&#039;s OK&quot;. If only other communities were as accepting and welcoming of diversity as that. Generally speaking, the Pagan community is accepting and welcoming of diversity, including sexual orientation, polyamory, kink, and gender variance. Let&#039;s keep it that way.\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/sermonsfromthemound\/2014\/09\/anti-kink-and-transphobia-have-no-place-in-paganism\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Anti-kink and transphobia have no place in Paganism\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"It may not be your cup of tea, but at least make an effort to understand it before you write it off. In the BDSM community, there is a saying, &quot;Your kink is not my kink, but that&#039;s OK&quot;. If only other communities were as accepting and welcoming of diversity as that. Generally speaking, the Pagan community is accepting and welcoming of diversity, including sexual orientation, polyamory, kink, and gender variance. Let&#039;s keep it that way.\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/sermonsfromthemound\/2014\/09\/anti-kink-and-transphobia-have-no-place-in-paganism\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Dowsing for Divinity\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2014-09-01T09:01:40+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2014-09-01T20:32:36+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"https:\/\/wp-media.patheos.com\/blogs\/sites\/311\/2013\/04\/Rainbow_At_Maraetai_Beach_New_Zealand.jpg\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:width\" content=\"720\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:height\" content=\"540\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:type\" content=\"image\/jpeg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Yvonne Aburrow\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"Yvonne Aburrow\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"3 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\/\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/sermonsfromthemound\/2014\/09\/anti-kink-and-transphobia-have-no-place-in-paganism\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/sermonsfromthemound\/2014\/09\/anti-kink-and-transphobia-have-no-place-in-paganism\/\",\"name\":\"Anti-kink and transphobia have no place in Paganism\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/sermonsfromthemound\/#website\"},\"datePublished\":\"2014-09-01T09:01:40+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2014-09-01T20:32:36+00:00\",\"author\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/sermonsfromthemound\/#\/schema\/person\/7c81436f22ac62c734bfff7da2e3fc7a\"},\"description\":\"It may not be your cup of tea, but at least make an effort to understand it before you write it off. 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