{"id":177,"date":"2013-03-13T03:06:00","date_gmt":"2013-03-13T07:06:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/oshetablogs.wordpress.com\/2013\/03\/13\/my-awkward-tattoo-parlor-phone-conversation"},"modified":"2013-03-13T03:06:00","modified_gmt":"2013-03-13T07:06:00","slug":"my-awkward-tattoo-parlor-phone-conversation","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/shalominthecity\/2013\/03\/my-awkward-tattoo-parlor-phone-conversation\/","title":{"rendered":"My Awkward Tattoo Parlor Phone Conversation"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<\/head>
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<\/span>I was writing today\u2019s post on Kristen Stewart and\u00a0Forgiveness\u00a0and I couldn\u2019t keep my eyes opened, so\u2026.I\u2019m going to bed y\u2019all. \u00a0First thing tomorrow, I\u2019m going to Starbucks and finishing up, \u201cForgiving Kristen Stewart For Ruining Twilight For Me\u201d. \u00a0But for now, I\u2019ll tell y\u2019all about my awkward phone call to the tattoo parlor for a consultation.<\/span>

<\/span>So, this is my first tattoo, right? \u00a0I\u2019m all kinds of nervous, not just about the pain, but being so out of my element during the actual procedure. \u00a0\u00a0<\/span>

<\/span>When I visited the websites of a few local parlors, I realized<\/span>\u00a0all the artists were these hard-faced, tatted up\u00a0individuals\u00a0who I was sure would roll their eyes at a Valley Girl meet Whitley Gilbert sounding, \u00a0Vera Bradley bag carrying woman like me\u2014who by the way, is getting a Christian tattoo. \u00a0Becoming the laughing stock of the shop is not on my Lenten agenda!<\/span>

<\/span>So, I did a little research and found a place that I hoped by virtue of their name, that they would have nice, non-eye rolling people in the employ. I decided to call Redemption Tattoo<\/a>. \u00a0Cool, right? \u00a0<\/span><\/span>

<\/span><\/span> So here we go with the nearly\u00a0verbatim\u00a0transcript of my phone call:<\/span><\/span><\/span>

<\/span><\/span>I look up the number on my phone, tap it and off Siri goes calling the tattoo parlor. \u00a0Now all this time, my self talk is pumping me up, \u00a0<\/span><\/span>

<\/span><\/span>Self Talk: \u00a0preppy voice is a no-go and that accent get it under control, girl. \u00a0You are tough, you can handle the pain of a tattoo, you want this person to know he\u2019s dealing with a strong, capable, hard chi\u2014\u2019<\/i><\/b><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Dude:<\/b> Redemption?<\/span><\/span>

<\/span><\/span>And I swear it\u2019s Ben Affleck on the phone. \u00a0My brain fried for a minute.\u00a0<\/span><\/span>

<\/i><\/b><\/span><\/span>Self Talk: No, no he\u2019s suppose to sound like one of the Dynasty Brothers or at least Owen Wilson. Yeah! Owen\u2019s got that \u2018laid back I don\u2019t really care, but I kinda do\u201d voice that would be perfect for a tattoo artist\u2026What is Ben Affleck doing working at a tattoo parlor? You better answer this phone before he hangs up<\/i><\/b><\/span><\/span>

<\/b><\/span><\/span>Me:<\/b> Oh..um..hi\u2026well..yeah I was inquiring about booking a consultation for a tattoo\u2026 that I\u2019d like to get\u2026on my wrist. I\u2019ve got a picture and everything and I can bring that in, so\u2026<\/span><\/span>

<\/b><\/i><\/span><\/span>Self-talk: \u201cinquiring about booking a consultation\u201d?!?! What are you calling the Mac counter at Macy\u2019s, weirdo?<\/b><\/i><\/span><\/span>

<\/b><\/span><\/span>Ben Affleck: <\/b>Yeah we can do that. Do you have an artist in mind?<\/span><\/span>

<\/b><\/span><\/span>Weirdo Me:<\/b> Uh\u2026no! \u00a0Was I suppose to? \u00a0I mean I\u2019ve never gotten a tattoo before so I didn\u2019t know who to choose. I just thought \u00a0(mocking myself) \u2018I\u2019ll stop by and talk to whoever is there\u2019, but if I need to choose can I call you back after I\u2019ve studied your site?<\/span><\/span>

<\/i><\/b><\/span><\/span>Self-talk: \u201cstudied your site?\u201d This isn\u2019t college, honey! \u00a0Wow. \u00a0And you so over-share when you\u2019re nervous<\/i><\/b><\/span><\/span>

<\/b><\/span><\/span>Ben: <\/b>It\u2019s cool. Just come on in when you get a chance and one of us can talk to you.<\/span><\/span>

<\/b><\/span><\/span>Over-sharing \u2018Sheta<\/b>: Well, I\u2019m actually in my car right now, so if someone\u2019s there and can talk to me, that be cool. But\u2026I understand if it\u2019s too last minute, I can call back.<\/span><\/span>

<\/b><\/span><\/span>Self-talk: stop being a people-pleaser! Really, lady!<\/b><\/span><\/span>

<\/i><\/span><\/span>(It\u2019s true, \u00a0I tend to be a people pleaser, even when making appointments. \u00a0\u201cNo, no doctor when do *you* have time to see me during this lung hacking, snotting, and infecting my little people cold? Next week? \u00a0Sure, I think most of us will be alive then. \u00a0Thanks, bye!\u201d)<\/i><\/span><\/span>

<\/b><\/span><\/span>Ben: <\/b>\u00a0No, come on over and we\u2019ll help you out.<\/span><\/span>

<\/b><\/span><\/span>People Pleasing O:<\/b> Awesome!\u00a0(no don\u2019t slip into prep now!)\u00a0<\/i><\/b>I\u2019ll see y\u2019all in a bit.<\/span><\/span>

<\/i><\/b><\/span><\/span>Self-talk: dang you woman! Now your Southern accent is back..we\u2019re doomed! So help me Id, \u00a0they better not expect us to get a tattoo of an antebellum parasol.<\/i><\/b><\/span><\/span>

<\/span><\/span>I hit end on my phone, visited the parlor, met \u201cBen\u201d who was<\/i> tatted up, but also super nice and helpful. \u00a0Now I\u2019m deciding if I\u2019m going there or to another parlor in the area. \u00a0<\/span><\/span>

<\/span><\/span>But, this whole\u00a0consultation\u00a0experience has taught me three things:<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n