{"id":184,"date":"2013-03-13T21:41:00","date_gmt":"2013-03-14T01:41:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/oshetablogs.wordpress.com\/2013\/03\/13\/forgiving-kristen-stewart"},"modified":"2013-03-13T21:41:00","modified_gmt":"2013-03-14T01:41:00","slug":"forgiving-kristen-stewart","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/shalominthecity\/2013\/03\/forgiving-kristen-stewart\/","title":{"rendered":"Forgiving Kristen Stewart"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<\/head>


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Do not judge, and you will not be judged.\u00a0Do not condemn, and you will not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven.\u00a038\u00a0<\/sup>Give, and it will be given to you. A good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over, will be poured into your lap.\u00a0For with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.\u201d<\/span><\/i><\/b><\/div>\n
39\u00a0<\/sup><\/i><\/b>He also told them this parable:\u00a0\u201cCan the blind lead the blind? Will they not both fall into a pit?40\u00a0<\/sup>The student is not above the teacher, but everyone who is fully trained will be like their teacher.<\/i><\/b><\/span><\/div>\n
41\u00a0<\/sup><\/i><\/b>\u201cWhy do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother\u2019s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye?\u00a042\u00a0<\/sup>How can you say to your brother, \u2018Brother, let me take the speck out of your eye,\u2019 when you yourself fail to see the plank in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother\u2019s eye.<\/i><\/b><\/span><\/div>\n

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Last Summer the community of Twi-hards was shaken with the news that Kristen Stewart cheated on Robert Pattinson. Responses ranged from disbelief to angry death threats.\u00a0 Sobbing, wailing, and accusatory reaction videos popped up on Youtube garnering a staggering amount of views.\u00a0 Twitter was ablaze and a great cry unlike any other from teens and stay-at-home moms alike could be heard across the land.<\/span><\/div>\n
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\u00a0\u201cHow could you, Kristen!\u201d<\/i> they cried. <\/span><\/div>\n
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\u00a0\u201cI would have never done that to Rob.\u201d <\/i>They declared.<\/span><\/div>\n
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\u201cYou\u2019ve ruined Twilight for me!\u201d<\/i> They mourned.<\/span><\/div>\n
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With just a simple photo spread in US Weekly and a regretful statement from Kristen, Twilight fans\u2019 dreams quickly diminished. <\/span>

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They had expectations of Kristen as a girlfriend to Robert Pattinson that was not met.<\/span><\/div>\n
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\u00a0I could understand why this news hit them so hard.\u00a0 <\/span><\/div>\n
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I had expectations too, of a completely different nature though.\u00a0 Taking on such a vital role to the story of \u201cTwlight\u201d, I expected Kristen to portray the vulnerable, charmingly awkward, Austen-reading, compassionate daughter to Charlie, Bella Swan of the books\u2014not the edgy, punk rock, emo, lip-biting, staggered breathing, odd-pausing Bella we see in the Saga\u2019s films. <\/span><\/div>\n
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Those traits that I loved from the books, comprised the \u201cessential Bella\u201d and since she did not portray them well, I judged her and cried, \u201cyou\u2019ve ruined Twilight for me!\u201d <\/span><\/div>\n
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That is, until I stood at the Redbox and debated renting, \u201cBreaking Dawn Part Two\u201d.<\/span><\/div>\n
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I really, really wanted to see the twist ending and how they handled Jacob\u2019s imprinting on Renesmee.\u00a0 Bella\u2019s transformation was one of my favorite moments in the book and even though I couldn\u2019t stand Kristen, I figured enough special effects and an awesome soundtrack could mitigate her shortcomings.\u00a0 But, I knew the moment I watched the movie, all my frustration would come flooding back.\u00a0 I\u2019d mourn the loss of one of my favorite stories again.\u00a0 I\u2019d be angered by Kristen\u2019s stylistic choices that differed from my expectations. I\u2019d be annoyed and a cry of \u201cyou\u2019re ruining it\u201d would well up within me anew.<\/span><\/div>\n
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But then I had a thought: What if I watched the movie for what it is: a different entity from the book? \u00a0Yes, it\u2019s based on a story I loved, but what if I viewed the movie and the book as two distinct stories? Two separate Twilights, I you will. <\/span><\/div>\n
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So, I rented it and chose to watch it with fresh eyes.\u00a0 I didn\u2019t judge Kristen\u2019s portrayal by my standard of \u201cessential\u201d Bella. \u00a0I let her be the best Bella she could be and something amazing happened. As I released judgment on her, I started to like the movie! I found things about the movie that I appreciated, even though they differed from the book. \u00a0Gradually, I accepted Kristen as Bella. Granted she wasn\u2019t the Bella I would have hoped for, but oddly, that didn\u2019t matter anymore.\u00a0<\/span>Recognizing that there are two Bellas\u2014the ideal and
\nthe embodiment\u2013I could enjoy each of them without imposing one onto the other.\u00a0<\/span><\/div>\n
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Sometimes I do this with people too.\u00a0<\/span>

<\/span>I judge them based on my standard of \u201cessential friend\u201d or \u201cessential mentor\u201d, \u201cessential husband\u201d or \u201cessential son\/daughter\u201d and oh, they better not fall short of my expectations.\u00a0 If the embodiment and the ideals do not match up completely, I would blame them for ruining our relationship and emotionally cut them off.\u00a0 Holding them to a standard they couldn\u2019t realistically attain, I\u2019d point out their specks of offense, while the plank of judgementalism juts hazardously from my eye.\u00a0 <\/span><\/div>\n
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This is what\u2019s happening in two relationships that God is asking me to find peace in this Lent. He is calling me to forgive and I don\u2019t want to.\u00a0 They\u2019ve both deeply hurt me and fallen short of my\u00a0expectations. <\/span><\/div>\n
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But, what if I viewed them separately from my ideal?\u00a0 What if I chose to look at each person for who they are\u2014not what I expect from them, and not what I deem \u201cessential\u201d to be in relationship with me\u2014but for who they are.\u00a0 Could I accept them?\u00a0 Could I learn to love the way they embody their role in my life? Could I put their offense to bed by acknowledging that maybe, just maybe it\u2019s unrealistic for them to be my ideal, just as it\u2019s unrealistic for Kristen to satisfy mine and every other Twilight fans\u2019 ideal?<\/span><\/div>\n
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I think so.\u00a0 <\/span><\/div>\n
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I think that\u2019s the first step towards forgiveness: recognizing that people are just human and they will never fully meet our expectations. <\/span><\/div>\n
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Who we hope them to be, and who they are, are almost always two separate things. They will make mistakes, they will fall short, and they will make choices that we don\u2019t necessarily agree with. Our job is not to hold them to the standards of our ideals, as if we have the ability to accurately judge, but to authentically relate to them where they are and find joy in the relationships we do have.<\/span><\/div>\n
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We can find enjoy in the embodiment when we relax our hold on the ideal.\u00a0 <\/b><\/span><\/div>\n
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Embracing this truth, has given me the freedom to forgive without feeling violated or compromised. \u00a0Yes, they missed the mark. Ideally they would have been \u201cperfect\u201d, but no one is perfect, none but God. This humbling reminder helps me appreciate my ideal for what it is, a great goal to hope for and indications of ways to pray for the people in my life, but not a measure for them to live up to.<\/span><\/div>\n
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Jesus is asking me to forgive and since I\u2019ve been forgiven for so much, I\u2019ll do it. I\u2019ll also release judgement for the ways they\u2019ve hurt me. \u00a0Jesus does say whatever measure we judge with, we will be judged and I\u2019m scared to death to suffer under the weight of judgment I so carelessly heap upon others. <\/span><\/div>\n
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Instead of judging unfairly, I\u2019m going to take my cues from God, who knowing that in my own strength I don\u2019t meet his ideal, still loves me for who I am\u2014 the best Osheta I can be. \u00a0<\/span><\/div>\n
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So, Kristen Stewart is ok in my book. \u00a0She was the best Bella she could be. \u00a0My two friends who\u2019ve hurt me will be ok in my book soon, because God is giving me the grace to say, \u201cI forgive you. \u00a0It\u2019s ok you didn\u2019t meet my ideal. You\u2019re being the best you, you can be\u201d. \u00a0<\/span><\/div>\n
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Who is God asking you forgive?\u00a0 Who are you holding to an unfair standard of your ideal? Who do you need offer grace to and sat, \u201cI forgive you. It\u2019s ok you don\u2019t meet my ideal.\u00a0 You\u2019re being the best you, you can be?\u201d<\/span><\/i><\/b><\/div>\n

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Source Do not judge, and you will not be judged.\u00a0Do not condemn, and you will not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven.\u00a038\u00a0Give, and it will be given to you. A good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over, will be poured into your lap.\u00a0For with the measure you use, it will be […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3037,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[3],"tags":[21,39,15,16,46,42,41],"class_list":["post-184","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-blog","tag-jesus","tag-kristen-stewart","tag-peace","tag-prayer","tag-robert-pattinson","tag-stereotypes","tag-twilight"],"yoast_head":"\nForgiving Kristen Stewart<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Source Do not judge, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn, and you will not be condemned. 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