{"id":2004,"date":"2013-12-20T15:51:22","date_gmt":"2013-12-20T15:51:22","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/oshetablogs.wordpress.com\/?p=2004"},"modified":"2013-12-20T15:51:22","modified_gmt":"2013-12-20T15:51:22","slug":"oh-honey-come-here-i-think-your-priviledge-is-showing","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/shalominthecity\/2013\/12\/oh-honey-come-here-i-think-your-priviledge-is-showing\/","title":{"rendered":"Oh Honey, Come Here! Your Privilege is Showing!"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<\/head>

Earlier this month, my daughter caught a cold, the first cold of the season, in fact, which always hits her the hardest.\u00a0 Her nose becomes a facet, her lips redden and chap, her night song of coughs and moans start half an hour after she falls asleep and we know we\u2019ve hit the climax of her cold when her right ear inflames.<\/p>\n

Late one night she wandered downstairs where I was working, cupped her ear and begged me to hold her<\/p>\n

I pushed my laptop aside and asked, \u201cDo you want a glass of juice?\u201d\u00a0 She gingerly shook her head and nestled into the nook of my arms.<\/p>\n

\u201cDo you want a glass of water?\u201d Again she gave me a small headshake as she rubbed the ears of her stuffed bunny.<\/p>\n

\u201cCan I heat you up some soup?\u201d\u00a0 I pressed, because this is what we mamas do: when by the strength of our hands and the fierceness of our love we can\u2019t make the pain stop\u2014 we offer food or drink, hoping to nourish our babies broken bodies and comfort our anxious hearts.<\/p>\n

\u201cNo, Mama I just want to watch something\u201d She whispered.<\/p>\n

So I flipped through the On Demand guide for a holiday show I have NOT seen. Having watched everything on Lifetime and HGTV, I came across a cooking show on The Food Network by a fiery, charming redhead with a strong Southern accent.I figured if my daughter wouldn\u2019t eat, I\u2019d give her a feast of the eyes, so we I tuned in as this captivating woman made simple, divine peppermint fudge for a holiday gathering.<\/p>\n

For the whole show we sat still and utterly engaged as Ree Drummond created dish after dish after glorious dish.\u00a0 She cooked with butter, said \u201cy\u2019all\u201d every so often and her stove was stainless steel. I think I was a little bit in love. So was my daughter.<\/p>\n

\u201cMama, when I\u2019m better I want to make all that.\u201d\u00a0 Trinity said as the show closed, revived a bit by the thought of food.<\/p>\n

\"pancakes\"<\/a><\/p>\n

\u201cMe too, Baby!\u201d I promised, \u201cMe too\u201d.<\/p>\n

After our third episode, my daughter finally fell asleep under the influence of Tylenol and the glass of orange juice I tricked her into drinking. I propped my laptop on the arm of the couch where we slept, strained to reach the keys without disturbing the child recovering in my nook, and entered one of my go-to Google searches when I\u2019m noticing a crush on a Southern celebrity coming on.\u00a0 I took a deep breath and typed:<\/p>\n

\u201cRee Drummond, black people, diversity\u201d<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n

I found two posts:\u00a0 One on her \u201cblack\u201d grandpa<\/a> who turned out to be well tanned white grandpa but having close relationships with a \u201cblack\u201d person made her feel special and unique and another post on her homeschooling method to teach diversity<\/a> using multicultural play figures.<\/p>\n

Neither one quite related to me, an African-American budding fan of the Pioneer Woman.<\/p>\n

And I closed my laptop, snuggled into my daughter\u2019s curly hair and sighed, \u2018when will these women use their voices?\u2019<\/em> I wondered, drifting to sleep and dreaming about those tempting fudge squares feeling equal parts guilty and gluttonous.<\/p>\n

This Google search that\u2019s almost second nature to me is my first line of defense against disappointment in white bloggers, particularly those whose vernacular and values match my Southern upbringing. \u00a0 With this Google search I know what I\u2019m getting myself into and can cut through the crap of Southern charm to find out what they\u2019re truly about.<\/p>\n

As I fill in the search field, I feel like Hector Elizondo in \u201cThe Princess Diaries 2\u201d who cornered the young, charming and sexy\u00a0 usurper of Mia\u2019s destiny and asks, \u201cam I going to be disappointed with you?\u201d\u00a0 \u00a0Because I do get disappointed with white celebrities from the South.\u00a0 Like I was with Paula Deen <\/a>and now I am with Phil Robertson<\/a> of the A&E reality show, \u201cDuck Dynasty\u201d.\u00a0\u00a0 Their ignorance is showing and I\u2019m sad. \u00a0Once again, they\u2019ve revealed that the racism of the South is still infecting good and Godly people.<\/p>\n

So, I sigh, shake my head in frustration and keep my finger at the ready to Google the next, great sensation with Southern charm\u2026\u201dHome Free\u201d from \u201cThe Sing Off\u201d\u2026I\u2019m looking at you\u2026<\/p>\n

\"The<\/a>
P.S. I know they\u2019re from Minnesota, but they\u2019re a decidedly country group and my prejudice automatically puts them in the \u201cbe careful, girl\u201d box.<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

I wanna love these celebrity Southerners, but I\u2019m afraid being let down by them.\u00a0 I\u2019m scared of falling in love with their words, checking in on their blogs day after day to find them silent on topics of race and privilege.\u00a0 I\u2019m tired of\u00a0 viewing tons of pics of their \u201csoul sisters\u201d and not finding a single Sister among them.\u00a0 It\u2019s heartbreaking and quite frankly a misuse of their voice.<\/p>\n

So I Google search their \u201cdiversity portfolio\u201d and if they come up short, I immediately look for one star reviews on Amazon in an attempt to mitigate my broken heart. Another Internet blogging crush bites the dust.<\/p>\n

Since I wrote last on racism, privilege, and diversity, I\u2019ve had several white bloggers, most of them happen to live or come from the South say to me, \u201cI really want to talk about this but I don\u2019t think I have the right to, I mean\u2026I\u2019m white\u201d.<\/p>\n

To which I say, <\/i>because you\u2019re white<\/em>, you need to talk about it.\u00a0 Because you haven\u2019t had to think about it, you need to think about it now.\u00a0 Because you\u2019re in your homogenous bubble, you need to hear my story as a black woman in America so you can share it with your white, and at times, clueless readers.<\/p>\n

The truth is, your voice matters and it has power. As a white blogger in the South,\u00a0 your acknowledgement of my experience brings a much-needed validation to the racism I dealt as a young, insecure black girl in a predominately white community. If I know you care enough to listen, then I know I can trust you and can hear the best of your words. Speak up and speak life! Your voice can reverberate across the wounded places of my heart and the echos of your acceptance has to power to heal deep, deep offenses!<\/p>\n

Because you are white<\/em> you need to reject the allure of avoiding the topic altogether to write about sexy husbands, deep calls from Jesus, oppressed women in third world countries, patriarchy in the western church, or tasty recipes.\u00a0 I don\u2019t have that luxury.\u00a0 I engage with the world and my words as a black woman.\u00a0 I live with the reality that if you and I knew each other during the Jim Crow era, my son could be tortured and murdered for telling your daughter she\u2019s beautiful.\u00a0 If you ignore this, then I\u2019m sorry\u2026.but Honey, I think your privilege is showing.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Even though you are white please, speak up!\u00a0 Get on your blogs and tell us that comments like Phil Robertson\u2019s is not ok. Don\u2019t deflect by saying we should care about more important topics.\u00a0 That invalidates the offense.\u00a0 Please say to your African-American readers that you know and you understand their frustration.\u00a0 Maybe you can\u2019t relate and that\u2019s ok\u2026but for the love of God, please, start the conversation!<\/p>\n

I need to see that.<\/p>\n

I need to see you starting the conversation.\u00a0 I need to see genuine pictures of you and your black friends.\u00a0 I need to hear you say you\u2019re talking to you babies about racism.\u00a0 And I\u2019m sorry, while letting them play with black dolls, buying brown, diverse \u201cplay people\u201d <\/a>or encouraging them to use Crayola\u2019s multicultural crayons is a fantastic starting place, you can do so much more. Dare to do better; dare to be braver.\u00a0<\/strong> Are you teaching your babies to speak up, to love, to engage, and to authentically connect? If not, I\u2019m sorry Honey, but I think your privilege is showing.<\/strong><\/p>\n

\"daretobebrave\"<\/a><\/p>\n

Put the power of your privilege to work and speak up.\u00a0 Don\u2019t let the internet be void of your voice on this topic and don\u2019t allow yourself to have distorted views of black people or racial reconciliation for fear of letting your ignorance show.<\/p>\n

I can handle it. I\u2019ve borne the humiliation of my letting my dark skin show for over thirty years, I think can bear yours for a bit.<\/p>\n

Step out the echo chamber of your privilege and recognize that I am a human being just like you, a woman just like you, a mama who loves her babies something fierce and I weep at the beauty of our Jesus\u2014just like you.\u00a0 Recognize these truths and start the conversation with me.<\/p>\n

It\u2019s going to be hard and I\u2019m not even going to say I\u2019ll \u00a0always understand why you think we\u2019re on an even playing field when it\u2019s rocky, unstable, and riddled with pitfalls that masquerade as government programs or good intentions. I\u2019m not promising that I\u2019ll be super patient when you want to take up our phone call to cry about how bad you feel when you learn about the hardships of being a black woman in America.<\/p>\n

I\u2019ll try.<\/p>\n

Reconciliation is difficult for the oppressed person too.<\/strong><\/p>\n

I know I\u2019ve got to move past my own prejudices that tempt me to Google you and your connection to my people.\u00a0 I\u2019m tempted to put up walls when I start to love you a bit.\u00a0 I want to create a dossier of discrimination if your words or images that don\u2019t meet my standards of diversity\u2014 it keeps me safe and in a place of judgment.\u00a0 So I need you.<\/p>\n

I need you, but don\u2019t forget this privileged white Southerner with a platform: you need me and many other bloggers of color with similar experiences, too.<\/p>\n

Only then can we destroy the root system running deep in the South that produces the Strange Fruit of racism and ignorance.\u00a0 We need to clear out space to make way for the Kingdom roots of God\u2019s Shalom that Jesus, our common Lord, lived and died violently for. His blood seeped into the ground to create a new way of being that\u2019s marked by unity, sacrificially loving one another, and eagerly empowering every. Single. Image-bearer\u2014regardless of the color of their skin.<\/p>\n

So, come here honey, I think your privilege is showing, but I can help you with that.<\/p>\n<\/body><\/html>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

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