{"id":2139,"date":"2014-01-08T16:48:32","date_gmt":"2014-01-08T21:48:32","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/oshetablogs.wordpress.com\/?p=2139"},"modified":"2014-01-08T16:48:32","modified_gmt":"2014-01-08T21:48:32","slug":"taste-the-joy-croissant-and-see-the-joy-marked-pages","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/shalominthecity\/2014\/01\/taste-the-joy-croissant-and-see-the-joy-marked-pages\/","title":{"rendered":"Taste the Joy Croissant and See the Marked Pages"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<\/head>

\"Taste31breakfasts\"<\/a><\/p>\n

I woke up sad today.\u00a0 Sad and angry and disappointed and confused to be exact.\u00a0 I wish I could pinpoint one source for ALL THE EMOTIONS, but I can\u2019t.\u00a0 There are several external stressors and it would be so easy to say, \u201coh, it\u2019s this person\u201d or \u201cthat circumstance\u201d or \u201cthose people\u201d, so I won\u2019t do it.\u00a0 I won\u2019t because I\u2019m conditioned to take in pain, place blame, then recycle pain in angry words or bitter thoughts.\u00a0 Jesus didn\u2019t recycle the pain he experienced, \u00a0he took it in and upcycled it into grace, love, acceptance, and hope.\u00a0 So, I\u2019m going to reject the temptation to blame and grow embittered\u2014even though I truly, deeply, and wholeheartedly wanna shank someone for how bad I feel right now\u2014if orange is the new black then shank is the new slap.<\/p>\n

Another obstacle\u00a0 in giving over to my shanking desires, is I\u2019m an Anabaptist\u2014I don\u2019t believe in redemptive violence. I \u2018m convinced that we \u201cwrestle not with flesh and blood\u201d and all those words that sound great when you\u2019re not waking up to a tear-stained pillow and a broken-heart.<\/p>\n

So\u2026here\u2019s me choosing to not blame.\u00a0 I\u2019m going to attempt to wrestle with the right things\u2014 these feelings and untrue narratives I sometimes believe about myself.<\/p>\n

I started a new job today, so I planned to either make an egg in the hole, but given that I woke up with a certain wounded heart, I thought I would reheat the forgiveness casserole<\/a> and reflect on Jesus\u2019 forgiveness from the cross.\u00a0 But that didn\u2019t happen.\u00a0 I had to rush out to catch my bus\u2014I refused to compound shanking tendencies with showing up late on the first day.<\/p>\n

\"photo<\/a><\/p>\n

So I ducked into Starbucks in Harvard Square to use a gift card and made one of the best decisions of the day: I bought a butter croissant, I set it down in the spine while I drank my coffee and read Jesus\u2019 teaching in John 16:16-23 <\/a><\/p>\n

\u201cA little while, and you will not see Me; and again a little while, and you will see Me, because I go to the Father.\u201d<\/p>\n

17\u00a0<\/sup>Then some<\/i> of His disciples said among themselves, \u201cWhat is this that He says to us, \u2018A little while, and you will not see Me; and again a little while, and you will see Me\u2019; and, \u2018because I go to the Father\u2019?\u201d 18\u00a0<\/sup>They said therefore, \u201cWhat is this that He says, \u2018A little while\u2019? We do not know what He is saying.\u201d<\/p>\n

19\u00a0<\/sup>Now Jesus knew that they desired to ask Him, and He said to them, \u201cAre you inquiring among yourselves about what I said, \u2018A little while, and you will not see Me; and again a little while, and you will see Me\u2019? 20\u00a0<\/sup>Most assuredly, I say to you that you will weep and lament, but the world will rejoice; and you will be sorrowful, but your sorrow will be turned into joy. 21\u00a0<\/sup>A woman, when she is in labor, has sorrow because her hour has come; but as soon as she has given birth to the child, she no longer remembers the anguish, for joy that a human being has been born into the world. 22\u00a0<\/sup>Therefore you now have sorrow; but I will see you again and your heart will rejoice, and your joy no one will take from you.<\/p>\n

23\u00a0<\/sup>\u201cAnd in that day you will ask Me nothing. Most assuredly, I say to you, whatever you ask the Father in My name He will give you.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

I totally get where how the disciples feel, they\u2019re confused and a little angry. \u00a0That\u2019s how I feel right now, confused by Jesus\u2019 leading into this season and angry that he\u2019s not acting the way I expect.\u00a0 The disciples wanted their warrior king to show up and get the job done, shank a Roman (or two), if you will.\u00a0 I want Jesus to show up and chase away this anguish and smooth out all the drama with his trademark, \u201cPeace! Be still!\u201d<\/p>\n

But Jesus offers something else, a promise. He promised us that the pain will end and when it does, we will be marked as His own and the joy promised will never be taken from us.\u00a0 We will be marked by joy.\u00a0 Light, fluffy, rich, decadent, buttery joy.<\/p>\n

Oh wait, that describes my croissant.<\/p>\n

Well\u2026croissant\/joy; po-ta-toe\/po-tat-o.<\/p>\n

\"photo<\/a><\/p>\n

But check this, when I put my croissant in the spine of my Bible, I unknowingly set a reminder of God\u2019 promise right there.\u00a0 See the oil stains of joy!\u00a0 See the marks of my croissant, smudging and highlighting the words?\u00a0 I do.\u00a0 I\u2019m also wondering if marking all my favorite Scriptures with croissant butter is a little odd.\u00a0 I know, it is.\u00a0 Tempting, but it is.<\/p>\n

So, I\u2019m still tender and a little unsure about a few things, but I do know this.\u00a0 I want to be marked by Joy.\u00a0 Everlasting, indelible, persevering joy.\u00a0 I want it to mark my soul and remind of the good times in my past \u00a0and the good works ahead of me.<\/p>\n

That was a tasty breakfast and a nourishing truth when my hungry soul, cried, \u201cI do know what you are saying to me, Lord\u201d.<\/p>\n

Where are you feeling sorrowful?\u00a0 Make a list of all the things you are grateful for. Write out your favorite memory, a line from a funny movie, a hilarious joke. Write it out and keep it close to you.\u00a0 And find space to laugh and revel in the joy and remind yourself that you will feel joy again.\u00a0 Sorrow will not last forever.<\/p>\n

Not so shank-happy anymore,<\/p>\n

\"signature\"<\/a><\/p>\n<\/body><\/html>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I woke up sad today.\u00a0 Sad and angry and disappointed and confused to be exact.\u00a0 I wish I could pinpoint one source for ALL THE EMOTIONS, but I can\u2019t.\u00a0 There are several external stressors and it would be so easy to say, \u201coh, it\u2019s this person\u201d or \u201cthat circumstance\u201d or \u201cthose people\u201d, so I won\u2019t […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3037,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[3],"tags":[114,5,315,90,258,21,345,32,15,346,92],"class_list":["post-2139","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-blog","tag-anabaptist","tag-as-a-jesus-girl","tag-breakfast","tag-church-planting","tag-god","tag-jesus","tag-joy","tag-love","tag-peace","tag-sadness","tag-women"],"yoast_head":"\nTaste the Joy Croissant and See the Marked Pages<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"I woke up sad 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