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\u201cI\u2019ll make love to you, like you want me to and I\u2019ll hold you tight, baby all though the night!\u201d \u00a0With gusto and passion, I sang along with Boyz II Men.\u00a0 Twirling around my bedroom and clutching my favorite party dress to my chest, I used\u00a0 it to mime the \u201cthrow your clothes on the floor\u2019 lyric.\u00a0 My room filled with the harmony of these love-makers crooning to their beloved and I was lost in the beauty of that sexy love song.\u00a0 This love song was different than most\u2013it didn\u2019t promise to \u201csex me up\u201d, or presume to inform me that my body was telling the horndog singer \u201cyes\u201d\u2014\u00a0 Boyz II Men\u2019s song was different.\u00a0 It was a heartfelt offering,\u00a0 a lavish invitation predicated by love to come, be known, create oneness, and yes, make love.<\/p>\n
At thirteen I\u2019d never heard of making love.\u00a0 Oh, don\u2019t get me wrong. I knew of sex. I knew too much of the mechanics and all the wrong dynamics, but never love. \u00a0I heard the moans and slaps from porn movies and felt the dirty touches of my abuser, but making love?\u00a0 What\u2019s this idea that physical intimacy and love could merge into something art-worthy, melody making?\u00a0 How could the touches of man thrill and awaken, not terrify and scar? <\/i><\/p>\n
I was intrigued and as I listened, my inner vixen peeked out from behind the wall I built to protect my child-like heart from my too soon awakened identity as a sexual being. Beautiful and brave.\u00a0 Sultry, yet serene, she was everything I wanted to be. \u201cYes, dear\u2026there\u2019s more.\u201d\u00a0 <\/em>she whispered,\u00a0 \u201cThere\u2019s love-making.\u00a0 There\u2019s attention and joy.\u00a0 There\u2019s selflessness and generosity. One day a man will sing this to you.\u00a0 I promise.\u00a0 Sex is more I believed her and even though I was still a woman-child,\u00a0 I sensed the Holy Spirit confirm it by placing his own seal over my heart with a promise of connubial things to come.<\/p>\n So I sang with Wanya as he flourished up and down the scales, promising to hold his beloved tight.\u00a0 \u2018Will I be held tight by my man?\u2019 I wondered, this was my whispered prayer to the God who made our bodies and celebrates their blissful coming together.<\/p>\n Suddenly my older brother yelled from his bedroom, \u201cTiki!\u00a0 Turn that off! That\u2019s non-sense! You\u2019re gross for liking that song,\u201d<\/p>\n Stunned and embarrassed, I dove to my boombox and turned off my radio-made mix tape.\u00a0 I didn\u2019t know he could hear me!\u00a0 Once the cold wash of shame completely blanketed me, I sat in the quiet and noticed the party dress crumpled on the floor. Ruefully, I sighed\u2014 how naive for me to think there\u2019s more!\u00a0 Sex shouldn\u2019t be celebrated!\u00a0 There\u2019s no need for a party dress\u2014stupid, stupid me.<\/em><\/p>\n Shamedfaced and made small, I sat and wondered, \u2018but really what\u2019s so gross about true love?\u2019<\/i>\u00a0 I believed the truth about love-making sung by Wanya, Shawn, Nathan and Michael!\u00a0 I believed it, but my brother\u2019s accusations caused me to doubt.<\/p>\n \u201cI\u2019ll Make Love to You\u201d has never been the same since that day. \u00a0\u00a0Every time the first three notes play, I feel shamefaced and small.<\/p>\n I\u2019m married to my own love maker now and even though my vixen helped me kick down that wall to show me how enticing a lover I can be, I still feel shamefaced and small when I dare to suggest that pop-culture could teach us Christian wives a thing or two about the joy of marital intimacy.<\/p>\n I feel shamefaced and small when I declare that all truth is God\u2019s truth<\/strong> \u00a0<\/a> and if Paul could use an idol set apart to the \u201cunknown God\u201d\u00a0 to point the Athenians to Yahweh, then Beyonc\u00e9 and Jay-z\u2019s modern-day Song of Songs could be used to point us to God\u2019s dream for our sex lives.<\/p>\n I shared this article<\/a> and admitted I was inspired by\u00a0 Beyonc\u00e9\u2019s sultry, steaming, pro-martial fun times Grammy Awards performance \u201cOsheta!\u00a0 Turn that off!\u00a0 That\u2019s non-sense!\u00a0 You\u2019re a disgusting blasphemer for liking that song!\u201d<\/p>\n But today, I refuse to remain shamefaced and small.<\/b><\/p>\n Today I\u2019m going to give us permission to embrace our \u201cSasha Fierce\u201d, that beautifully brave vixen who God designed with our one true loves in mind.<\/p>\n Don\u2019t you see her?\u00a0 Isn\u2019t she stunning in your dream lingerie?\u00a0 She\u2019s peeking from behind the various walls you\u2019ve built whispering, \u201cYes dear\u2026there\u2019s more.\u201d Do you have ears to hear her?<\/p>\n She probably doesn\u2019t sound like Twila Paris or Beth Moore, but that\u2019s ok.\u00a0 Let her sound like Beyonc\u00e9 purring on a stage, loving on her man, deepening intimacy with the father of her child.\u00a0 Remember: all truth is God\u2019s truth.<\/strong><\/p>\n And she\u2019ll probably tell you to be honest and describe to your man all the ways you want him.\u00a0 She might suggest a sexy text or a naughty swear word And she may invite you to swerve up on him<\/a> with your bum.\u00a0 She might even tell you to sway your hips. Oh, those hips that to you are no longer sexy as And your Sasha Fierce will probably tell you to make your breastases his breakfast\u2014<\/a> the very same breasts that have become a utilitarian reminder of your age\u00a0..that\u2019s ok\u2026go with it, embrace your Sasha Fierce and invite him to enjoy the ripe, sweet fruits of your garden\u2014 they are a feast for his eyes and I know your Sasha Fierce will definitely tell you to be a generous lover: morning, noon, and night.\u00a0 She\u2019ll say go out and have fun and tumble into bed Yes dear\u2026there\u2019s more.<\/p>\n There\u2019s more than scandalized pearl clutching and judgmental accusations. There\u2019s more than rule following and pledge card signing.\u00a0 There\u2019s There\u2019s more for us holy, wild, wonderful, Sasha Fierces.<\/strong><\/p>\n There\u2019s Holy Spirit sealed, Creator-God sanctioned, Jesus Christ celebrated,\u00a0 joyful intimacy in marriage. And while in the church we still struggle to find a healthy balance between legalism and love, last week at the Grammys, a celebrity husband and a wife who embraced her Sasha Fierce got it right!\u00a0 We only need eyes to see it.<\/p>\n Today, I\u2019m no longer shamefaced and small\u2014I\u2019m embracing my Sasha Fierce\u2014are you brave enough to join me?<\/p>\n Shalom and Fierceness,<\/p>\n
\nthan sleazy pinches and contrived \u2018F-me\u2019s screamed by trapped girls like you. \u00a0There\u2019s love-making and when it\u2019s time, you\u2019ll let me out and it will be magical\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n![\"Ra6\"](\"https:\/\/oshetablogs.files.wordpress.com\/2014\/02\/ra6.jpg\")
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\nwith her husband,\u00a0 Jay-Z and then I heard from across the Internet:<\/p>\n
\nwhispered in the dark for his ears only\u2026go with it, embrace your Sasha Fierce, enjoy the husband of your youth<\/a>.<\/p>\n
\nthey\u2019ve widened with baby, after baby, after baby.\u00a0 But Sasha Fierce tells you to \u201csway on, Sister\u201d, for the man who selflessly woke up to do the midnight feedings for every single one of those babies. Go with it, embrace your Sasha Fierce and while you move and he can\u2019t take his eyes off your fatty<\/a>, let your man exclaim that the curve of those mama- hips are like jewels.<\/a><\/p>\n
\nnourishment to his masculine soul.<\/p>\n
\ntogether drunk in love. GO WITH IT\u2026embrace your Sasha Fierce<\/strong> and let your husband say, \u201cI have come to my garden, my spouse; I have gathered my myrrh with my spice, I have eaten my honeycomb with my honey; I have drunk my wine with my milk.\u201d<\/a><\/p>\n
\nmore than insecurity driven coldness and fear-based shaming. There\u2019s more than books that turn married sex into a seven day project or game to be won.<\/p>\n<\/a>