{"id":3056,"date":"2015-04-02T17:03:33","date_gmt":"2015-04-02T17:03:33","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/oshetablogs.wordpress.com\/?p=3056"},"modified":"2015-04-02T17:03:33","modified_gmt":"2015-04-02T17:03:33","slug":"do-you-mama-do-you-thoughts-on-weariness-grace-and-frombostontola","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/shalominthecity\/2015\/04\/do-you-mama-do-you-thoughts-on-weariness-grace-and-frombostontola\/","title":{"rendered":"Do You, Mama, Do You: Thoughts on Weariness, Grace, and #FromBostonToLA"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<\/head>

It was day one, leg one of the trip and a series of events caused us to leave for our move eight hours later than we planned.Couple that with the exhaustion from loading furniture all day and you\u2019ve got yourself the perfect storm of parental weariness.<\/p>\n

So, when we pulled into the motel at midnight, unloaded our overnight bags and very shaken up cat, we all just wanted to go right to bed.\u00a0 Having a dinner of crackers, cheese, apples, and chocolate kisses- we were thankful for the continental breakfast offered in the coyote ugly bar attached to the motel (yes, y\u2019all there was a for really real bar with a dance floor and animal heads. I\u2019m pretty sure there was a broken mechanical bull in the corner- don\u2019t worry I steered clear of the hard boiled eggs). We all were looking forward to breakfast, except my oldest Tyson, a dried, salted meat aficionado who ate (and soon paid for) a whole bag of turkey jerky in less than an hour.<\/p>\n

Around 1am,\u00a0 I fell asleep and it seemed like seconds later when my son\u2019s running and retching an hour later, yanked me awake.\u00a0 My poor son had food poisoning, or sour stomach, or something, but he threw up for the next days.<\/p>\n

Because I\u2019m a Mama, I stayed by him through the night.<\/p>\n

To say, I was weary would be an understatement.<\/p>\n

Lying on the edge of the double bed, half asleep\/half away, waiting for the next moan or scurry to the bathroom I wanted to give up.\u00a0 Not on the road trip- we were already too far in, plus we effectively had no place to live since we turned in the key to our Cambridge apartment. .\u00a0 No, on the seemingly absurd idea of blessing people along the way.\u00a0 At the moment of bone deep, soul aching weariness, I wanted to be the one blessed<\/em>.\u00a0<\/strong> It felt so easy to grab my phone and start emailing all the future bomb recipients that we\u2019d stick their bombs in the mail instead of meeting up.\u00a0 I mean- Google Maps said we were less then seven minutes from a post office.\u00a0 I could slip out at 7 while the family slept, slapped some postage on those babies and be done with it.<\/p>\n

And no one would blame me.<\/strong>\u00a0 In fact, I was sure that my most trusted mentors would have applauded what seemed like a very wise decision.<\/p>\n

But this is where I remembered my go-to phrase for motherhood. \u201cDo you, Mama!\u00a0 Do you.\u201d<\/a><\/p>\n

I had to stop and access my heart.\u00a0 I wondered if giving up on the love bombs would be the best thing for me.\u00a0 Not necessarily my kids, but me.\u00a0 You see, while it\u2019s true that our babies are affected and, hopefully, changed for the better by our choices, so are we. I knew if I chose to give up, or change the plans to cut out the personal connections between my family and the people we were blessing, I\u2019d miss out on becoming a better person and, by extension, a better mama.
\nLying there on the pukey, smelly floor I realized, that I just had to do me in my weariness, for myself. I know I thrive on personal connections, and my love language is gift-giving, and I enjoy big elaborate plans.\u00a0 This I know about myself.\u00a0 And while practicing shalom is always a good idea, I had to do it in a way that brought a glimmer of joy to my heart.\u00a0 That\u2019s how we leave pathways to Jesus for our babies, we walk them in our own strides, with confidence that he knows and loves us just the way we are. \u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n

I knew if I put those packages in the mail in the quietness of the morning, it might quiet the still small voice of the Lord in my babies\u2019 lives when they\u2019re faced with the weariness of giving to others or the temptation to avoid people when vulnerability feels too excruciating for them.\u00a0 I had to do me, and let them see it, and so I emailed and changed some of the logistics of the drop offs and shortened our time with each person\/organization, but I stayed to true to myself.\u00a0 I made sure to value face to face meetings, good conversation, and most of all fun.<\/strong><\/p>\n

The \u201cfun\u201d the next morning, post-Puke Apocalypse was simply hot cocoa with whipped cream for all non-sick children. But it was something and the kids met our good friend who nominated, Rise up Rochester. Even though I was exhausted, I was also inspired.<\/p>\n

\"IMG_4280-1\"<\/a><\/p>\n

Do you, Mama.\u00a0 Do you.<\/h3>\n

I think we often come to motherhood trying so hard to fit into another mama\u2019s example.\u00a0 Something works for your friends, so it HAS TO WORK for you and, y\u2019all, let me tell you something\u2026 that\u2019s crazy.<\/p>\n

Maybe you\u2019re so tired and it\u2019s a complete triumph that you remembered to microwave edamame for the kids on their eighth consecutive night of chicken nuggets for dinner. You\u2019re teaching those to be babies to be creative, flexible, and content.\u00a0 Do you, Mama.\u00a0 Do you.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Maybe you\u2019re can\u2019t help but laugh at your tween\u2019s theatrics.\u00a0 He\u2019s chocked full of hormones and indignation.\u00a0 Oh good, Lord.\u00a0 Laugh at him. Let him see that this too shall pass and he\u2019s not the center of your universe.\u00a0 Do you, Mama.\u00a0 Do you.<\/strong><\/p>\n

There is grace from heaven offered when you humbly accept that your way, is just that: your<\/em> way. You know what else? There\u2019s strength for those moments of weariness when you doing it your<\/em> way rubs up against another mama doing it her<\/em> way.\u00a0 Strength to find a common ground and offer respect that comes from knowing yourself, your limitations, and your worth.<\/p>\n

While I laid on that nasty motel carpeted floor, I though of Galatians 6:9.<\/p>\n

\u00a0\u201cLet us not become wearing in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.\u201d<\/a><\/p>\n

We love quoting that verse because it\u2019s a promise.\u00a0 Don\u2019t give up and eventually you\u2019ll see the finish line.<\/em><\/p>\n

I like that, but it seems ambiguous, doesn\u2019t it.\u00a0 What is this good, Paul keeps talking about?\u00a0\u00a0 When is this \u201cproper time\u201d?\u00a0 And tell me more about this harvest? Because seriously, mama wants a baby to get in to Harvard.<\/p>\n

Maybe if we looked at the context and read a few verses before we might find some, not all, but some answers to our questions.<\/p>\n

\u201cCarry each other\u2019s burden and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.\u00a0 If anyone thinks they are something when they are not, they deceive themselves.\u00a0 Each one should test their own actions for each one should carry their their own load. Nevertheless, the one who receives instructions i the word should share all good things\u201d<\/a><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

From that passage there are three ways I want to move forward when I talk about motherhood on this blog and in my daily life.<\/p>\n

\"cross-with-blues\"<\/a>
Image From Good Friday Blues <\/a><\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

\u00a0<\/p>\n

1:\u00a0 I want to carry your burden because I love you.<\/h3>\n

Tell me your hard stories, your funny stories, of ohmygoodness Imma bout to hurt a child stories.\u00a0 They are safe in my arms.\u00a0 This is a judgement-free zone.\u00a0\u00a0 When we gingerly carry each other\u2019s mama burdens, we fulfill that law of Christ that\u2019s bedrock is made of indestructible love.\u00a0 Christ carried our burdens, in fact, this week we\u2019re remembering it.\u00a0 We\u2019re remembering that He first opened hands and said, \u201ctell me your hard stories of living in this broken world, your grimy stories of past failures, your horror stories of sins you can\u2019t break free from and let me carry in my arms.\u00a0 They are a safe with me and will nail them to my cross.\u201d\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 My approach to motherhood is Do you, Mama. Do you.<\/strong>\u00a0 Be real with me about who are you and trust that I\u2019ll be real with you.<\/p>\n

2:\u00a0 I\u2019m not going to be anyone or anything than myself.<\/h3>\n

I don\u2019t have time for deception.\u00a0 I don\u2019t for time to wade in the dirty waters of pretense, scheming, and shame that comes when I try to be someone I\u2019m not.\u00a0 I laugh at my kids when they act a fool.\u00a0 I make silly jokes to break tension.\u00a0 I talk about the poor and lonely because I once was poor and lonely.\u00a0 I love epic, grand gestures because I\u2019ve got a house full of drama babies who take after their drama mama.\u00a0 This is me.\u00a0 It\u2019s probably not you and that\u2019s ok.\u00a0 Do you, Mama.\u00a0 Do you. Be big.\u00a0 Be bold.\u00a0 Be still.\u00a0 Be quiet.\u00a0 Be passionate.\u00a0 Be silly.\u00a0 Be you.\u00a0 Do you, Mama, Do you.<\/strong><\/p>\n

3:\u00a0 I\u2019m going to check my heart before I share about my motherhood and I\u2019m going to share only what I think will make you smile, grow, or sigh with relief.<\/h3>\n

Because, yeah, I\u2019m flawed and learning.\u00a0 My oldest is twelve, so I\u2019ve only been a mom for twelve years.\u00a0 Somedays, I rock.\u00a0 Somedays, not so much.\u00a0 But I know me.\u00a0 I know I love my babies with a fierceness that can take my breath away, this is good because love, sacrificial, Christ-center love always brings the dawn of resurrection morning. I also know that humility, Good\u00a0 Friday afternoon, stretched out thin and broken humility, reflects the inclusive love of Jesus for all mamas and makes space for all of you as you Do you, Mama, Do you.<\/strong>\u00a0 I\u2019ll never share on Facebook or this blog anything about my mothering that doesn\u2019t whisper to your fragile, Mama heart, \u201cyou are loved and there\u2019s space of you here\u201d.\u00a0 Do you, Mama no matter how broken you feel.\u00a0 Do you. \u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n

This place is safe and any suggestions I give\u00a0 or stories I tell on motherhood come from my experience, my love for you, and my excitement in the ways Jesus will meet you as you mother your brood.<\/p>\n

Do you, Mama.\u00a0 Do you.<\/p>\n

Seeking Shalom of Doing Me,<\/p>\n

\"signature\"<\/a><\/p>\n

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