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<\/a>I almost wrote this post when there were riots in Ferguson<\/a> and I almost wrote this post when protestors were holding up signs that read, \u201cI can\u2019t breathe\u201d.<\/a>\u00a0 This post was very nearly published when black women stood in the street topless,<\/a> a prophetic picture of both the African American woman\u2019s vulnerability in this broken world and her strength in the face of brutality. Then I saw Dejerria Becton, a black 15 years old wrestled and held to the ground by a white police officer,<\/a> so I wept and sat at my computer with these words. And now, nine brothers and sisters lost their lives to racism in Charleston last night and I cannot ignore this post anymore.<\/p>\nIn the next few hours there will be even more coverage of the shooting of nine people at a historic African American Church in Charleston, South Carolina<\/a>.<\/a>Soon news outlets and bloggers will begin speculating about Dylann Roof, the accused shooter\u2019s motive and we\u2019ll be tempted to assign blame and make assumptions.\u00a0 These are the critical hours that sets the trajectory of this new conversation on racism in America.\u00a0<\/strong>\u00a0 These are also the hours our helplessness rises to the surface and we\u2019ll use our words to alleviate it. \u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n Two weeks ago, in the hours and days following the Mckinney Pool Party, I read some of the most hateful words used to shore up defensiveness.\u00a0 I saw people blame the teens.\u00a0 Memes were made that called a vulnerable young woman- rude, disrespectful, and deserving of the treatment she received. I can\u2019t fathom how it\u2019s appropriate to blame her for her mistreatment in a day when there is a collective gasp of disgust when someone suggest that a drunken girl raped at a party brought that onto herself.<\/p>\n Our words matter.\u00a0 Right now, they matter, oh so much.<\/strong><\/p>\n Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear. Ephesians 4:29<\/p><\/blockquote>\n You see, there is a deep pain in the African-American community today. Last night, when my white husband told me what happened in Charleston I sat still.\u00a0 Unmoving. Heat pounding.\u00a0 Tears burning in my eyes and lump in my throat. I saw those nine lives taken. I saw welcoming the newcomer, offering him refreshments, inviting him to cast his cares on Jesus.\u00a0 I heard the loading of the gun, the yells, the running.\u00a0 I saw the pools of blood on the church floor.\u00a0 I\u2019m a pastor\u2019s wife.\u00a0 My church meets in Downtown LA and we invite every one \u2013 mentally ill homeless to loft dweller\u2013 to meet Jesus, learn of his great love, and leave with a new sense of their immeasurable worth.\u00a0 This is the life we\u2019re called to\u2013 loving the stranger well because we\u2019ve been wholly loved by God. So I saw what happen as a pastor\u2019s wife who worries about her husband\u2019s safety.<\/p>\n Then I saw it as a black woman.\u00a0 I imagined my initial confusion when a white man who\u2019s never attended shows up, but then Holy Spirit anointed love brings me to invite him in.\u00a0 I imagined the questions I\u2019d have, \u201cwho?\u00a0 how?\u00a0 What can we offer him\u201d?\u00a0 I imagined the brief moment of hope, maybe gladness that the Lord has brought us a new person to pray for.\u00a0 I imagined the fear soaked confusion.\u00a0 The terror of running for my life.\u00a0 The desperate last thoughts for my family, my babies, my church.<\/p>\n At this moment, this painful imagining is happening for black people across this country.\u00a0 The pain we\u2019re feeling right now is akin to the loss of a child because whenever black lives are treated as worthless, whenever our story is marked yet again with violence, whenever we\u2019re forced to remember the brutality our grandparents endured when they stood for freedom and dignity- it feels like Dr. King\u2019s dream<\/a> is a hope deferred and our hearts are sickened.\u00a0<\/strong> As a white person, you may have heard Dr. King\u2019s \u201cI Have A Dream\u201d speech and thought, \u201cyes, that\u2019s a nice sentiment.\u201d That \u201cnice sentiment\u201d is a defining dream for the African- American community.\u00a0 We don\u2019t want to be angry anymore.\u00a0 We\u2019re tired of being afraid.\u00a0 We\u2019re tired of these headlines.\u00a0 We want to have peace.\u00a0 We dream of unity too.<\/p>\n But sadly, race and division and the rending of the Imago-Dei are Satan\u2019s favorite weapons, so I\u2019m not sure we\u2019ll ever completely get past this.\u00a0 Lord help us, something like this may happen again. Maybe not next month or the month later, but racism is still infecting the system of our country.\u00a0 I fear the disease will flare up again and again. So, what then?\u00a0 Is there nothing we can do?\u00a0 No. No, not at all.\u00a0 It\u2019s time to claim these hours as our stand for peace and stretch out our hands for solidarity.<\/strong><\/p>\n God blesses those who work for peace, for they will be called the children of God. Matthew 5:9 (NLT)<\/p><\/blockquote>\n Reading the news stories and getting the details of this shooting is painful in and of itself, but one thing makes our pain even greater. When in these dark hours as we mourn the loss of the nine lives of the Charleston martyrs, our suffering is used as a means to push your agenda, whatever it may be.\u00a0 So today, I offer two responses that promote peace, lay a foundation for unity, and point to the love of Jesus as displayed on the cross.<\/strong><\/p>\n I\u2019m sorry<\/em><\/strong> because we\u2019re called to be peacemakers.\u00a0 We are the ones on the front-line of violence with the sword of the Spirit- his words that bring life.<\/p>\n We\u2019re called to be the ones to cry out, \u201cImmeasurable worth!\u201d when image-bearers are devalued.<\/p>\n We\u2019re the voices of justice.<\/p>\n We\u2019re the ones who draw in the sand and level the playing field.<\/p>\n As peacemakers, we\u2019re tasked with identifying with our Prince of Peace who overcame our blood-thirsty enemy by shedding his own blood- selflessness and love flows from the cross and lies out our chosen path- humility.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019m sorry\u201d<\/em> tames the anger.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019m sorry\u201d<\/em> respects the pain. \u201cI\u2019m sorry\u201d<\/em> positions you as a friend and not adversary.<\/p>\n I\u2019m listening<\/strong><\/em> because we\u2019re called to be reconcilers.\u00a0 Like Jesus reconciled us to the Father- it\u2019s a painful process.\u00a0 A denying process.\u00a0 A humiliating process.\u00a0 But a Kingdom process, nonetheless.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019m listening<\/em>\u201d says, \u201cyes, I have an opinion and yes I have strong feelings, and yes this makes me feel more than a little helpless, but I\u2019m going to press into this specific pain and listen.\u201d<\/p>\n Last week after I watched the video from the McKinney pool party, I called my white friend to process.\u00a0 As the phone rang, I crafted intelligent analysis and a bullet point list of angles to talk about the issue, but the most profound moment of that call was when I broke down and cried for almost five minutes.\u00a0 She sat and listened as I wept for the lost dream. I didn\u2019t have words for my grief and neither did she,\u00a0 but she healed me in her silence.\u00a0 Her willingness to sit Shiva with me mitigated the loss and cleared out the anxiety.\u00a0<\/strong> \u201cI\u2019m listening\u201d<\/em> is all you need to say right now. \u201cI\u2019m listening\u201d<\/em> disrupts the enemy\u2019s plan to pit pride against pain.\u00a0 He\u2019s delighted with every defensive word, every zinger post, every grandstanding status; they perpetuate us\/them.\u00a0 Right now, Kingdom people, our Prince of Peace is asking us to rally behind him with few words, compassionate hearts, listening ears. <\/strong><\/p>\n \u00a0<\/sup>My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry,<\/span> James 1:19<\/p><\/blockquote>\n I\u2019m kneeling at the cross today, wetting the ground with my tears for the suffering of Emanuel African Methodist Episcopal Church. I\u2019m full of sorrow for Dylann Roof. And right now, I need to hear, I\u2019m sorry and I\u2019m listening<\/em>.<\/p>\n I suspect, I\u2019m not the only one.<\/p>\n Will you let your words be few and your love great today as we process the shooting at AME? Will you practice Shalom by putting aside your agenda and taking up the call of the cross to die to yourself?\u00a0 Will you hold ground for healing where violence trampled our hope?\u00a0 The choice is yours, Kingdom person.<\/p>\n And if you can\u2019t say, \u201cI\u2019m sorry\u201d<\/em><\/strong> or \u201cI\u2019m listening\u201d,<\/em><\/strong> if you can\u2019t understand the need to enter this conversation, then may I gently ask you to not.\u00a0 Stay away.\u00a0 Go before the Lord and ask him to touch your lips with the coal so that you may use your words wisely.\u00a0 These are critical hours, people.\u00a0 Defining hours.\u00a0 Let\u2019s push back the darkness, one peacemaking response at a time.<\/p>\n Shalom for Charleston,<\/p>\n![\"_imsorry_and-_imlistening_\"](\"https:\/\/shalominthecity.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/06\/Imsorry_and-_ImListening_-300x300.png\")
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