{"id":3485,"date":"2015-10-09T09:54:38","date_gmt":"2015-10-09T09:54:38","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/oshetablogs.wordpress.com\/?p=3485"},"modified":"2015-10-09T09:54:38","modified_gmt":"2015-10-09T09:54:38","slug":"the-friendship-project-day-9-update-and-shalom-steps","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/shalominthecity\/2015\/10\/the-friendship-project-day-9-update-and-shalom-steps\/","title":{"rendered":"The Friendship Project, Day 9: Update and Shalom Steps"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<\/head>

So, funny story.\u00a0 Since my laptop broke last week\u00a0 I haven\u2019t been able to write during the day. Everyday, I have to wait for my husband to get home so I can use his laptop and last night when he came home I was DEAD ON MY FEET.\u00a0 So he got home around 7, and I went to bed but set my alarm so it could wake me up at 10pm so that I could write yesterday\u2019s post in time to count for the challenge.\u00a0 I guess my body wasn\u2019t having it because I just woke up at 5am and realized 1: I really needed a full night\u2019s sleep and 2: I missed a day. (ugh!!!)\u00a0 But that\u2019s ok, yesterday\u2019s post<\/a> was all about grace so I\u2019m going to extend it to myself.<\/em><\/p>\n

\"let's-3\"<\/a><\/p>\n

Here\u2019s the Past Week of Friendship Project posts in case you missed out:<\/p>\n

Day 1: Introduction<\/a><\/p>\n

Day 2: The Plan<\/a><\/p>\n

Day 3: The Vow of Stability Part. 1<\/a><\/p>\n

Day 4: Shalom Steps from My Sick Bed<\/a><\/p>\n

Day 5: The Vow of Stability Part. 2<\/a><\/p>\n

Day 6: Books guiding the series<\/a><\/p>\n

Day 7: GRACE for making new friends<\/a><\/p>\n

Day 8: (uhhhhhh\u2026let\u2019s call that day, practing GRACE, since I didn\u2019t right. m\u2019kay?)<\/p>\n

Fridays I want to do a weekly update of my Friendship Progress and share one Shalom Step I\u2019m making to help me stay open, say yes, and make new friends in this new city.<\/p>\n

Number of Original Social Outings:<\/strong><\/p>\n

Since this is my first full week of the project I can get away with counting the old standbys: lunch and coffee.\u00a0 So here\u2019s how I did last week:<\/p>\n

coffee date: 1<\/strong>
\nbrunch: 1<\/strong>
\nlunch:1<\/strong>
\n(and yes, I counted\u00a0 brunch and lunch as two separate outings\u2026time of day, y\u2019all, it\u2019s all contingent on time of day!)<\/em>
\nPTA meeting: 1<\/strong> (not specifically a one on one situation, but I was there. I spoke to women.\u00a0 I ate their their Musketeers.\u00a0 We\u2019re on the road to best friendship, for sure.)<\/em><\/p>\n

\"12094845_10153699554394772_2672326459215495101_o\"<\/a><\/p>\n

On the deck for outings this week:<\/strong>
\nNadia Bolz Weber\u2019s Book Signing in L.A.
\nSunday Dinner (we\u2019re making red beans and rice together, which is totally different than having it made for you)
\nThrift Store Shopping
\nRoad Trip to A Conference (!!!!)<\/p>\n

I think I\u2019m going to slay this goal of seven, I might need to up it to 15, which would leave 8 more to plan. \u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

Book additions to help guide the series:<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u201cWomen are Scary\u201d by Melanie Dale<\/a><\/p>\n

\"9780310342137_p0_v1_s260x420\"<\/a>
\n\u201cAccidental Saints\u201d by Nadia Bolz- Weber<\/a> (I\u2019ve read this and like I said, I\u2019m going to Nadia\u2019s book signing here in LA this Saturday with a friend- but initially I didn\u2019t count it as a book on friendships, but going back and re-listening to it, it ABSOLUTELY falls under the \u201chow to love people well\u201d umbrella\u201d)<\/p>\n

\"ACcover\"<\/a><\/p>\n

Current Friend-Targeting<\/strong><\/p>\n

(These are stories of women who I met in the last week that I want to get to know better. Names will be changed to protect their identity so I can target away!!! Oh there\u2019s just so much I love about that last sentence!)<\/em><\/p>\n

Yesterday, there was a knock at my door. When I answered my son, a little boy, and his mom met me.
\nThe boy introduced himself.\u00a0 They are a new family to my complex- just under a week and they moved in RIGHT NEXT DOOR to us.\u00a0 Like, we literally share a wall.\u00a0 I knew the apartment next door was under renovation, but I didn\u2019t expect someone to move in so soon.<\/p>\n

My son vouched for him,\u00a0 \u201cYeah, mom, he\u2019s really cool!\u00a0 He\u2019s allergic to cats so we can\u2019t let Broadway touch him, but I want to show him my room, can I?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSure! I guess, if that\u2019s ok with his mom?\u201d\u00a0 I said awkwardly.<\/p>\n

His mom nodded and they rushed in. From the hallway, I could hear my son say, \u201cSorry, my room\u2019s a mess!\u201d (which is an UNDERSTATEMENT, but I\u2019ll let it go, 9 year old boys have a terrible standard for room cleanliness).<\/p>\n

But this is the best part, the little boy said, \u201cThen why don\u2019t we clean it together?\u201d<\/p>\n

I nearly asked the mom if we could trade kids. I decided to settle for best friend, who comes over to play Wii and occasionally teaches my son the finer points of housekeeping.\u00a0 Then they can go off to college together and their dorm room will be the pride of the residence hall!\u00a0 I\u2019ll get emails from the RA and President of the school and lovely college\u00a0 girls who are falling for our boys, all congratulating me for raising such a\u00a0 clean and upstanding young man. I\u2019ll pull a fake humble like Jackie Florrick and all will be right in my world.<\/p>\n

So, the new mom comes in and I\u2019m like, \u201cSorry, I moped today but I totally neglected my kitchen\u201d.\u00a0 She was so sweet and ignored the piles of dishes in my sink.\u00a0 She curled up in our recliner and told me all about their move and her life.\u00a0 It helped the awkwardness that I have a standard list of small talk openers like, \u201cWhat do you love about your job?\u00a0 We chatted for about 40 minutes and then she realized she needed to get to work- she\u2019s a nurse.
\nSo, all in all, I would say a very successful first friendship encounter.<\/p>\n

Shalom Step:<\/strong><\/p>\n

Use them babies like a boss!<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n

Kids are the great mediator for moms. They are easy conversation starters and if things every get awkward you can blame them for a quick get-a-way.\u00a0 Kidding (not, really)!<\/p>\n

Seriously, some of my best friends I\u2019ve made though mom\u2019s group.\u00a0 Like my dear friend, Jen.<\/p>\n

\"jenandosheta\"<\/a><\/p>\n

She and I were in a mom\u2019s bible study together.\u00a0 In fact, one of her first visits was when our leader announced that I had my daughter and would love some meals.\u00a0 Since she lived literally five minutes away from me, she offered to bring me something.\u00a0 The next week I met her at group even though I was supposed to stay home for two weeks after having Trinity.<\/p>\n

Sidebar: y\u2019all, I needed OUT OF THAT APARTMENT!\u00a0 I decided that Jesus would fully support me ignoring Dr. Spock, to go to small group.<\/p>\n

So, rebellious and desperate, I met Jen at moms group when our little boys started playing together so perfectly and we looked up, saw each other new mom hovering and said, \u201cHi!\u00a0 I\u2019m this guy\u2019s mom\u201d.<\/p>\n

We navigated small children mothering together- making dinner together, meeting up at Dunkin\u2019 Donuts for a much needed afternoon break and then letting the kids run off all that sugar at the park down the street.\u00a0 We\u2019ve prayed through pregnancy hardships, helped each other pack for big moves, and laughed almost every single day. Best friends are the ones you remember by inside jokes and giggles.<\/p>\n

So, my Shalom Step is to let my kids lead the way. Play-dates, PTA meetings, and impromptu coffee dates while the kiddos clean- I\u2019ll stay open to them during the Friendship Project.\u00a0 And if it doesn\u2019t work out, we can always fake and allergic reaction and rush home.<\/p>\n

Seeking Shalom with my Kiddos,<\/p>\n

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So, funny story.\u00a0 Since my laptop broke last week\u00a0 I haven\u2019t been able to write during the day. Everyday, I have to wait for my husband to get home so I can use his laptop and last night when he came home I was DEAD ON MY FEET.\u00a0 So he got home around 7, and […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3037,"featured_media":3488,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[3],"tags":[583,171,682,432,150,732],"class_list":["post-3485","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-blog","tag-31days","tag-31-days","tag-books","tag-friendship","tag-nadia-bolz-weber","tag-women-are-scary"],"yoast_head":"\nThe Friendship Project, Day 9: Update and Shalom Steps<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"So, funny story.\u00a0 Since my laptop broke last week\u00a0 I haven't been able to write during the day. 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