![\"let's-3\"](\"https:\/\/oshetablogs.files.wordpress.com\/2015\/09\/lets-3.png\")
<\/a><\/p>\n<\/h1>\n<\/h1>\n<\/h1>\n<\/h1>\n<\/h1>\n<\/h1>\n<\/h1>\n<\/h1>\n<\/h1>\n<\/h1>\nGuidelines For The Friendship Project:<\/h1>\nAt least seven original social outings.<\/h2>\n
<\/h1>\n<\/h1>\n<\/h1>\n<\/h1>\n<\/h1>\n<\/h1>\n<\/h1>\n<\/h1>\nGuidelines For The Friendship Project:<\/h1>\nAt least seven original social outings.<\/h2>\n
<\/h1>\n<\/h1>\n<\/h1>\n<\/h1>\n<\/h1>\n<\/h1>\nGuidelines For The Friendship Project:<\/h1>\nAt least seven original social outings.<\/h2>\n
<\/h1>\n<\/h1>\n<\/h1>\n<\/h1>\nGuidelines For The Friendship Project:<\/h1>\nAt least seven original social outings.<\/h2>\n
<\/h1>\n<\/h1>\nGuidelines For The Friendship Project:<\/h1>\nAt least seven original social outings.<\/h2>\n
Guidelines For The Friendship Project:<\/h1>\nAt least seven original social outings.<\/h2>\n
Today, I had lunch with a woman from church who I literally walked up to and said, \u201chi!\u00a0 I like you\u2026would you want to do something sometime?\u201d True story.\u00a0 Yeah, one could say my approach was just this side of creepy, but I\u2019ve got 31 days, y\u2019all.\u00a0 31 days to combat my loneliness, create a new narrative about friendships in SoCal, and let the women in my life in.\u00a0 Ain\u2019t nobody got time for coyness.\u00a0\u00a0 She said, \u201cyes\u201d (obvs) and it was fantastic.\u00a0 Stay tuned for a post next week on vulnerability and bravery.\u00a0 Brene Brown would be so<\/em> proud.\u00a0 But, this also means that for the rest of October. I can\u2019t count \u201clunch with a girlfriend\u201d as one of my social outings. Oh I can go to lunches, but they won\u2019t count as an effort to make new friends.\u00a0 You see, coffee and lunch dates are my sweet spot.\u00a0 I\u2019m so good at the woo over a plate of spring rolls and Thai iced coffee, y\u2019all.\u00a0 You wouldn\u2019t believe it!\u00a0 But there are so many other places and ways\u00a0 friendships can grow- on a hike, at yoga class, on my couch during a Gilmore Girl marathon. This whole project is intended to push and humble and open me up to new people in this new place. So, seven ORIGINAL outings\u2026.hmmm\u2026.this should be fun.<\/p>\n \u00a0<\/p>\n I know, three sounds like a lot, but I planted a church, y\u2019all- I had people in my space all the time. And I loved it, but\u00a0 here\u2019s the genius with\u00a0 being the host- I can hide behind the work and cooking and all the trappings of hostessing.\u00a0 I can ask someone to tell me her story then get up from the table to wash the dishes-\u00a0 and it\u2019ll seem like I\u2019m\u00a0 this super woman multi-tasker, but in all honesty, I\u2019m letting my work validate me in that relationship.\u00a0 I\u2019m not allowing myself to be enough in my own space. I think this is the curse of being an extrovert- I\u2019m so good at gathering people and making sure they can connect that I\u2019m often the one on the fringes.\u00a0 One time I organized a huge women\u2019s weekend for our church where we planned a fun after party for the about 100 women.\u00a0 While they were getting to know their small groups downstairs in the conference room, I was upstairs preparing the suite with food, decor, and get-to-know you icebreakers.\u00a0 The irony was not lost on me that I spent months organizing this beautiful weekend for these women to connect and I was all alone.\u00a0 No more fringes and hiding for me. This month, I refuse to be the hostess more than three times- even then, I have to send this guideline to a trusted friend and ask her to keep me accountable that I was actually present in the hostessing.\u00a0 That includes supper parties (like IF: Table) movie marathons, and Noonday trunk shows.<\/p>\n So here\u2019s the deal: I\u2019m not doing this 31 Days because there hasn\u2019t been opportunities to meet other women.\u00a0 Actually, the women of New City have welcomed me LIKE A BOSS. So have my MOPS group and my neighbors.\u00a0 I just haven\u2019t gone into those meetings willing to bear my heart as a potential friend, I\u2019ve had the \u201cI\u2019m a pastor\u2019s wife\u201d hat on, hoping they\u2019ll like me or be amazed at my spiritual maturity. I was so desperate to earn their respect, that I think I lost myself in there a bit.\u00a0 But, I\u2019m going to pull a Julia Roberts and say:<\/p>\n I\u2019m just a girl who wants to find authentic connection in her church community. \u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n It\u2019s humbling to admit it, but it\u2019s the truth.\u00a0 I\u2019m so new to this pastor\u2019s wife thing.\u00a0\u00a0 I mean, yeah, I was a church planter\u2019s wife, but that\u2019s different. This month, baring a pastoral care issue (later on, this month we\u2019ll talk about friendship and pastor\u2019s wives\u2026just you wait), if I\u2019m out with a New City woman, I\u2019m with her to befriend her. To let her in as a potential friend.\u00a0 I\u2019m also\u00a0 new to this building friends in a new city thing. The last time I did this, I had babies to buffer the meet and greets. Which leads me to my next guideline\u2026<\/p>\n Y\u2019all.\u00a0 I have kids.\u00a0 I get paid to play with kids.\u00a0 I don\u2019t always want to have a house full of them.\u00a0 But, if my babies are going to make friends than I should probable let them over, right?\u00a0 Right.\u00a0 (Jesus take the wheel) I\u2019m not putting a goal of how many of these we\u2019ll have because the spirit is willing, the flesh is weak and the kids are legalistic.\u00a0 I\u2019ll just trust\u00a0 the Holy Spirit that if a mom ambles up to me at pick up and says, \u201cSo\u2026 Apple wants to have a playdate with Trinity\u201d He\u2019ll give me the courage and patience say \u201cyes\u201d to her.<\/p>\n (because\u2026P.S.\u00a0 who wouldn\u2019t want to have a playdate with Gwenyth Paltrow?\u00a0 Real Talk PPS: The only celebrity I\u2019ve seen was the quirky dad from \u201cDiary of A Wimpy Kid\u201d true story. )<\/em><\/p>\n I\u2019m putting down roots, y\u2019all.\u00a0 I want good things and to see God move in the lives of the women I know in mighty ways.\u00a0 Prayer keeps this whole project centered on God\u2019s will for my friendships and his heart for the women in my community. Prayer shifts my perspective and keeps me humble.\u00a0 Prayer give me courage, insight, and guidance.\u00a0 The only prayer hasn\u2019t done for me is give me wings.\u00a0 Which is a good thing.\u00a0 Red Bull is of the devil.<\/p>\n In all my research for this series, there was one universal truth, in order to have friends, you have to be a friend.\u00a0 So, all next month, unless I\u2019m bleeding, or tending to a sick family member, if I\u2019m invited out, I\u2019m there.\u00a0 Unless I\u2019m driving or sleeping- I\u2019ll answer the phone.\u00a0 Remember what I said about hiding behind busyness- yep that applies here.\u00a0 For this month, I\u2019m never too busy for my friends.<\/p>\n Ok.. so what do you think?\u00a0 Anything else I can add?\u00a0 Anything seem unrealistic?\u00a0 If you were planning a Friendship Project which guideline would be hardest for you to adhere to?<\/p>\n Shalom Friends,<\/p>\nI can only host 3 friend gatherings at my house this month.<\/h2>\n
If someone asks me out for coffee (Smoothies, Pinkberry, Sonic\u2026whatever), I will be my most authentic self.<\/h2>\n
Play-dates are a must.\u00a0 I just have to get over myself.<\/h2>\n
Every-time I leave a friend meeting, I will pray for her.<\/h2>\n
If a Friend calls, I\u2019ll pick up.\u00a0 If she asks for a date, I\u2019ll show up.<\/h2>\n