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My nine-year-old daughter Trinity loves play-dates.\u00a0 When she made friends with a girl in our neighborhood right before summer break, she asked to move in with her.\u00a0 Her plan was that she\u2019d pack a bag and every so often check in back at home for clean clothes and spending money. Jesus take the wheel she\u2019s already thinking like a college student.\u00a0 At least I don\u2019t have worry about separation anxiety with that one.\u00a0 (You should know that this friend was all for the Trinity lives in my room plan. Apparently, they\u2019re forming a girl band and need the extra practice time.)\u00a0 So, now if we can\u2019t find Trinity in the apartment, we just go over and check her friend\u2019s place.<\/p>\n
Trinity loves play dates, but she\u2019s also, shall we say, tragically candid. It\u2019s either black or white.-she calls spades, spades; she has no time for foolishness and for the love of all that\u2019s good and holy absolutely no filter.\u00a0 At all. Which is why last week after a play date at the neighbor\u2019s house, I found out from the mom that Trinity committed the cardinal holiday sin\u2014announcing that there is no Santa Claus.\u00a0 Well, I\u2019m being diplomatic with her words, when I pressed her about what happened she told me she said that Santa is a red-suit wearing creeptastic stalker who doesn\u2019t have anything better to do than watch children and make wooden toys. My daughter said this.\u00a0 To a room full of Santa loving children and a mom who, by her own admission, goes a little crazy at Christmas time. No wonder this friend was disturbed and appropriately frustrated. Santa is a big part of their Christmas celebration and in one brazen blow my daughter jeopardized their tradition. I apologized to the mom and sat Trinity down (again) to explain that all truth doesn\u2019t need to be spoken, especially with such descriptive flair. \u201cMom, is it bad to believe in Santa Claus?\u201d she asked after we agreed that if we want to keep these friends then we need to keep our opinions about Santa to ourselves. And I thought:\u00a0 Tread carefully, Osheta.<\/em> Because I know Santa is a BIG DEAL to some families, even many Christian families. Visiting him at the mall is a time-honored family tradition; the terrified picture on his lap a rite of passage. I enjoy hearing about parents leaving Christmas Eve service early to nibble cookie edges and down hot cocoa just to see the excitement in their kids\u2019 eyes when they realized, \u201cSANTA CAME!\u201d\u00a0 \u00a0I loved the Santa character in \u201c Rise of the Guardians\u201d and Tim Allen\u2019s endearing CEO turned Kris Kringle.\u00a0 Santa, as a holiday tradition, isn\u2019t terrible; He\u2019s just not for us.<\/p>\n 1: How we use our imaginations matter, especially when we\u2019re young.<\/strong> At MOPS, we had a child development specialist talk about the importance of imagination for children between 3-7.\u00a0 She told us they work out conflict and their personalities begin to take form in pretend play-\u201cmagical thinking,\u201d she called it. I see it in my kids, from my daughter\u2019s Beanie Boo reality shows to my son\u2019s reenactment of his favorite scenes from\u00a0Harry Potter. They are taking cues from the world around them and letting that form their identity. What stories and what characters do I want in their imagination tool boxes?<\/p>\n Not Santa Claus. For one, Santa, with his metric of naughty or nice teaches my kids that their worthiness of gifts is directly tied to their performance. I want my children to be formed by the grace of God that says all are worthy, regardless of what they\u2019ve done, because God loves everyone. 2: Santa doesn\u2019t have relationships with my kids so it\u2019s \u00a0<\/strong>harder for them to connect the dots between love and generosity.<\/strong> My thirteen year old and I had a long talk over the weekend about Christmas gifts.\u00a0 He wanted several things that we felt like he needed to earn the money himself.\u00a0 We talked through his needs and interests and at the end of that meeting, I had a healthy list of doable gifts.\u00a0 We hugged, I made us hot cocoa, and later on he thanked me for listening to his Christmas list. He acknowledged that I was taking extra shifts at work to help buy these items and that he was grateful. I think when we rely on our kids\u2019 Christmas lists to Santa as a primary means of learning what they would like for Christmas, we rob them of the personal connection of gift giving.<\/p>\n 3: If Santa Clause isn\u2019t for the poor child on Skid Row, the Ugandan<\/strong> orphan, or the Syrian Refugee, then Santa can\u2019t be for my middle-class\u00a0<\/strong>kids.<\/strong> It\u2019s a privilege for my kids to believe in Santa. They are\u00a0comfortable, well fed, safe, loved children with two working parents. Why wouldn\u2019t they get extra gifts on Dec. 25th? There are children in\u00a0poverty for whom the story of Santa is offensive. I understand where\u00a0they\u2019re coming from. As a child, I had Christmases where I didn\u2019t receive a single thing because money was so tight. Where was Santa for\u00a0me, then? Was I not nice enough? If I want to raise compassionate\u00a0kids, I have to start with teaching them when they are young that justice wants for others what we already have. As they grow older, we\u00a0talk about divesting ourselves of our excess to meet the needs of\u00a0those around us. Santa and his impossible promise of gifts for all the children\u00a0in the world, makes this a hard lesson to bring home.<\/p>\n 4: It\u2019s our job to teach our children to be good stewards of their faith<\/strong> We want our children to be shaped my Jesus.\u00a0 We read his parables, quote our favorite theologians and worship him in front of them. We are disciples of Jesus, but it\u2019s difficult for our children to understand at times, because like Santa, they cannot see Jesus.\u00a0 He\u2019s not sitting across the table from us, or watching TV with us, or helping us mediate conflict. Following Jesus requires faith. So does believing in Santa. Allowing my kids to invest any bit of faith in someone I know is not real and will at some point disappoint them, puts their faith in a very real, very loving Jesus in danger. After we went over these reasons, my daughter paused for a moment, then her face lit up when she said, \u201cYeah, we don\u2019t do Santa but we do celebrate Saint Nicholas and I like that even better!\u201d<\/p>\n![\"santa\"](\"https:\/\/oshetablogs.files.wordpress.com\/2015\/12\/santa1.jpg\")
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