{"id":96,"date":"2013-01-09T23:10:00","date_gmt":"2013-01-10T04:10:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/oshetablogs.wordpress.com\/2013\/01\/09\/third-way-womanhood-pt-1"},"modified":"2013-01-09T23:10:00","modified_gmt":"2013-01-10T04:10:00","slug":"third-way-womanhood-pt-1","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/shalominthecity\/2013\/01\/third-way-womanhood-pt-1\/","title":{"rendered":"Third Way Womanhood Pt.1"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<\/head>

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My father, a strict, retired Marine forbade us from watching BET (Black Entertainment Television) or listening to hip-hop. \u00a0<\/span><\/div>\n

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I was generally fine with that rule, I didn\u2019t get black culture anyway so why would I need to listen to Kris Kross attempt to make me jump, jump<\/i> or Bone Thugs harmonize.\u00a0So, I obeyed without hesitation.<\/span><\/div>\n

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My sister, on the other hand hated<\/i> that rule.<\/span><\/div>\n

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Which is why as soon as she moved out of my father\u2019s house, she made a popular hip hop song both her ringtone and<\/i> her ring-back tone.\u00a0 Do you remember that annoying phase in cell phone history where you could impose your musical tastes on your friends when they called you? Well imagine picking up your phone to call your dear sister who you love and having to listen to fifteen seconds of this:<\/span><\/div>\n

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Yes, my sister made Brooke Valentine\u2019s anthem to girl drama her ring tone.\u00a0 It\u2019s sad\u2026but true.\u00a0 \u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/div>\n

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This was during a year when she began calling me daily in an effort to rebuild our friendship. Since I was caring for my kids\u2013 all four and under at that time, I almost always missed her calls, would have to call her back and hear, \u201cGirlfight\u201d.\u00a0 Every. Single. Day.<\/span><\/div>\n

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This song is so embedded in my brain that it comes out anytime my subconscious sniffs conflict of the female persuasion.\u00a0<\/span><\/div>\n

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That\u2019s why I can\u2019t watch, \u201cThe Bachelor\u201d, \u201cReal Housewives (of any location)\u201d, or \u201cThe View\u201d.\u00a0 As soon as the voices begin rising and the heads get to wagging, \u201cOhhh we \u2018bout to throw them blows<\/i>\u201d starts up in my mind and I\u2019m sick to my stomach.<\/span><\/div>\n

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Which is exactly what happened when I began reading reviews of Rachel Held Evans book , \u201cA Year of Biblical Womanhood: How a Liberated Woman Found Herself Sitting on Her Roof, Covering Her Head, and Calling Her Husband \u201cMaster\u201d <\/a>before deciding if I should use one of my precious Audible credits on it.\u00a0<\/span><\/div>\n

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Reading the reviews was heartbreaking. Christian women began polarizing themselves on the end of the \u201cbiblical\u201d womanhood spectrum with which they most identify.\u00a0 They defended their positions with passion and at times, hurtful words.\u00a0 They proclaimed that they threw books written by good and godly women across the room and summarily attacked each other\u2019s hermeneutics.\u00a0<\/span><\/div>\n

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Ohhhhhhh they \u2018bout the throw them blows!<\/span><\/i><\/div>\n

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This is an ongoing battle between Western Christian women that I\u2019m so over. \u00a0I\u2019m tired of being a casualty of their ideology flinging.\u00a0I\u2019m tired of having to chew up the meat and spit out the bones. I\u2019m tired because I don\u2019t completely identify with either\u00a0\u00a0\u201cbiblical\u201d woman. \u00a0I\u2019m stuck in the middle.\u00a0<\/span><\/div>\n

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Stuck in the Middle<\/span><\/b><\/div>\n

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On one end of the spectrum we have the Elisabeth Elliot reading, Sarah Edwards emulating, John Piper quoting Reformed woman who submits gladly to her husband, is busy at home, views her children as her primary calling, and trusts in God\u2019s meticulous providence.\u00a0 I get her.\u00a0 I love her.\u00a0 I want to be like her\u2026except I don\u2019t believe God controls every single detail of my life. I tru\n

st him to guide me in using my free will.\u00a0<\/p><\/span><\/div>\n


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So where do I fit in on this end?\u00a0 Sometimes I fear I don\u2019t, even though I try to make my home the bedrock of our ministry\u2014hoping as many people are brought to the Lord through my<\/i> cinnamon buns as through T.C.\u2019s sermons (see the reference for this quote here<\/a>).\u00a0<\/span><\/div>\n

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On the other end we have the liberated, Christian feminist.\u00a0 She loves the rebellious Jesus who taught women when the patriarchal culture of the day reduced them to property and not intellectual equals, she fights for the oppressed and champions social justice, her husband is her partner\u2014not her leader, and her children are just one part of her life\u2014not her calling\u2014not her mission field\u2014just one more facet of her complex identity.\u00a0 I get her.\u00a0 I love her.\u00a0 I want to be like her\u2026but I do affirm role distinction in my marriage.\u00a0 I see Christ submit to the Father and the Holy Spirit submitting to Christ and I think, \u2018a servant cannot be greater than her master\u2019<\/i>. I love the idea of being a helper to my husband, especially as we plant this church.\u00a0 Sure, call me an Ezer Kenegdo<\/i>!\u00a0 I\u2019ll embrace that wholeheartedly because the Holy Spirit operates in that role magnificently.\u00a0<\/span><\/div>\n

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So where do I fit in on this end?\u00a0 Sometimes, I fear I don\u2019t, even though I care deeply about social justice, want to bring dignity to the oppressed, and allow women freedom to bless the Body with their gifts in leadership.\u00a0<\/span><\/div>\n

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So what does that make me?\u00a0 Unbiblical? Unstudied?\u00a0 Unintelligent?<\/span>

<\/span>Maybe not. \u00a0<\/span><\/div>\n

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I wonder is there another way to be a modern, Christian woman that doesn\u2019t force me to toe a party line?\u00a0 I wonder is there a way to affirm my husband\u2019s leadership in our home and<\/i> applaud a woman\u2019s leadership in the church? Can I love me some Pinterest and<\/i> John Perkins?\u00a0 Can my children be my calling for this season, without being viewed by women enjoying their seasons of leadership in the Body as simple or irrelevant?<\/span><\/div>\n

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I think so.<\/span><\/div>\n

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I think there is a third way to be a believing woman in this culture.\u00a0 Third Way Womanhood, if you will.<\/span><\/div>\n

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I want to explore what is means to be a woman who doesn\u2019t identify with either type of \u201cbiblical woman\u201d through a series of posts called, \u201cThird Way Womanhood\u201d.\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/div>\n

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In the next post I\u2019ll share what I experience as a woman stuck in the middle trying to connect with the Fearlessly Feminine camp, but not quite jiving with the assumed acceptance of Reformed theology.\u00a0 The next post I\u2019ll share my experiences as a woman stuck in the middle trying to connect with the liberated Christian woman on issues of social justice and women in ministry, but not quite agreeing with the assumed acceptance that there are no differences between the sexes or our roles in the home.\u00a0 The final post will be how I\u2019ve attempted to reconcile the two and my hope to move forward in a third way of being a Christian woman.<\/span><\/div>\n

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Keeping the Peace<\/span><\/b><\/div>\n

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I don\u2019t think any of the prominent women at the ends of the \u201cbiblical\u201d womanhood spectrum mean to cause conflict or frustrate women like me who affirm different, seemingly opposite perspectives.\u00a0 I think we breath deeply the confrontational, polarizing climate of this culture and it comes out in unintentional ways.\u00a0 We\u2019re simply trying to communicate our hearts and we end up deeply offending our sisters.<\/span><\/div>\n

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So, I want to promise that I\u2019ll try my best to be fair and respectful of both sides.\u00a0 Because if I know the enemy, I know he loves to take well meaning posts, FB statuses, and books to cause conflict.\u00a0<\/span><\/div>\n

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I\u2019m reminded of first time I saw the video for, \u201cGirlfight\u201d. I was most impressed (in a bad way) by L\u2019il Jon.\u00a0 Hovering off to the side as two beautiful women fight, egging them on with his obnoxious growl and nasty gold teeth.\u00a0 I sometimes think of the enemy this way, hovering off to the sides of this biblical woman debate, egging us on with his obnoxious growl and nasty accusations of our beautiful sisters in Christ.\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/div>\n

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I\u2019ll try my best to honor both sides in hopes of encouraging other women like me.<\/span><\/div>\n

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Women stuck in the middle.\u00a0 Women looking for a peaceful way of being in the Body.\u00a0 Women who identify with a Third Way Womanhood.<\/span><\/div>\n

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So, what ways do you feel stuck in the middle of the \u201cbiblical\u201d womanhood debate? I\u2019ll read your comments, pray for you, and use them to help me process these posts on Third Way Womanhood.<\/span><\/b><\/div>\n

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My father, a strict, retired Marine forbade us from watching BET (Black Entertainment Television) or listening to hip-hop. \u00a0 I was generally fine with that rule, I didn\u2019t get black culture anyway so why would I need to listen to Kris Kross attempt to make me jump, jump or Bone Thugs harmonize.\u00a0So, I obeyed without […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3037,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[3],"tags":[17,15,18,19,8,20],"class_list":["post-96","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-blog","tag-middle","tag-peace","tag-rachel-held-evans","tag-sarah-edwards","tag-social-justice","tag-third-way-womanhood"],"yoast_head":"\nThird Way Womanhood Pt.1<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"My father, a strict, retired Marine forbade us from watching BET (Black Entertainment Television) or listening to hip-hop.  I was 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