3 Easy Ways to Spruce Up Your Marriage in the Midst of this Madness

3 Easy Ways to Spruce Up Your Marriage in the Midst of this Madness July 14, 2020

how do you refresh your marriageAfter months on lockdown, is your marriage starting to feel stale?

Is every day starting to look the same and is your husband beginning to get on your nerves? Do you wish you could hit a “refresh” button like on your computer? How do you refresh your marriage in the midst of this madness?

Hitting the refresh button on your marriage might be easier than you think.  A few minor adjustments could ease the tension in your house and make your marriage feel new.

When this pandemic started, I could not have described myself as a wife no man will ever want to leave. True confession… when the lockdown started, I thought I had this wife thing nailed down. I coach wives. But alas…when my husband started getting on my nerves, I was tempted to throw wife skills out the window.

But once you respond in your old ways, it’s easy to fall back into old patterns again.

Shortly into the pandemic, I decided to go back the basics: “Wife Skills” 101. I decided to hit refresh on my marriage.  Change Your Mind; Change Your Marriage workshop is a great way to freshen up.

If I find it easy to slip on the skills (that I teach other women), I thought it would be a great time to remind you of them, too.

Wife Skill #1  Smile 

The simple act of smiling can transform you and those around you. When you smile, your face sends a message to your brain that you’re happy.

And smiling makes you look better, too. You appear approachable. Would you want to approach someone who always has a sour face?

When my husband walks into a room and I smile at him, he automatically smiles back. When I’m happy, he’s happy. If you want to be happy, act happy.

Wife Skill #2: Do something you enjoy

When our brain encounters difficulties, it’s easy to begin looking for things you don’t like and complain.

Don’t fall into that trap. Look for things you enjoy instead.

Train yourself to engage in two activities you enjoy each day. It can be as small as eating a piece of your favorite candy or taking a bath. Once you make this part of your routine, it’ll become effortless and you’ll look forward to it. And you’ll feel refreshed.

Wife Skill #3 Say ‘Thank you’

This seems so simple. So basic. But it’s amazing how quickly we can get out of the habit of saying ‘thank you.’

If you’re not intentional about letting your husband know you appreciate him, you may fall into a habit of not thanking him.

Look for reasons to thank him. Thank him for what he does, even if it’s something he’s supposed to do. If he makes dinner, thank him. If he takes out the trash, thank him.

When he feels appreciated, he feels respected. When he feels respected, he’s going to want to make you happy. A grateful wife is a happy wife.

Make a list of things you’re thankful for in your marriage and in life in general. Start focusing on those things and expressing thanks for them.

In addition to refreshing your mindset, I’ve also made a free download to help you refocus. Just click the link below:

How to Be a Wife No Man Will Ever Want to Leave Challenge!

Need skills to build intimacy?

  1. Get on the waitlist for my next group coaching session–Change Your Mind; Change Your Marriage.
  2. Visit my website,  like my Facebook page and  join my private Facebook group.
  3. Check out my FREE resources and download Get Your Husband’s Attention in 5 Days Challenge (Without Getting Naked)
  4. Apply for private coaching with Sheila.

Subscribe to updates from The Not So Excellent Wife here!

Also known as the Not So Excellent Wife, Sheila Qualls understands how tiring a tough marriage can be. 

She went from the brink of divorce to having a thriving marriage by translating timeless truths into practical skills. She’s helped women just like you turn their men into the husbands they want.

After 33 years of marriage, she’s a  coach  and a speaker whose passion is to equip women to break relationship-stifling habits and do marriage God’s way. And you don’t have to be a doormat to do it.

She and her husband Kendall live in Minnesota with their five children and their Black Lab, Largo.

In addition to coaching, Sheila is a member of the MOPS Speaker Network.  Her work has been featured on the MOPS Blog, The Upper Room, Grown and Flown, Scary Mommy, Beliefnet, Candidly Christian, Crosswalk.com, The Mighty and on various other sites on the Internet.


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