{"id":562,"date":"2015-06-02T10:00:05","date_gmt":"2015-06-02T18:00:05","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/admin.patheos.com\/blogs\/shekhinahcalling\/?p=562"},"modified":"2015-06-02T10:55:36","modified_gmt":"2015-06-02T18:55:36","slug":"feeling-shekhinah","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/shekhinahcalling\/2015\/06\/02\/feeling-shekhinah\/","title":{"rendered":"Feeling Shekhinah"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<\/head>

Last night I had a big fight with my husband. We\u2019ve been fighting a lot in the almost 3 years since we had a child; the isolation and pressure of the nuclear family encourages every married co-parent to be their worst self. I\u2019m tired. The house is always a mess. I hate trying to fit my writing and my witchcraft and my other interests around 14-hour days of job\u00a0and childcare. At one point, when we were talking about time-wasting, my husband said, \u201cMaybe we should take an extended break from\u2013\u201d\u00a0I held my breath. \u201csocial media,\u201d he finished. I burst into tears. I\u00a0was\u00a0certain he was going to say \u201ceach other.\u201d<\/p>\n

I went to bed feeling like an absolute mess. I managed to do my nightly practice: I lit the candle on my Morrigan shrine and the incense on my working altar, I did my tarot reading, I said the Shema. I practiced my frame drum under the almost-full moon. I told myself that this was all worth doing even if I felt nothing magical inside.<\/p>\n

But this morning, something interesting happened.<\/p>\n

\"Description:<\/a>
Image credit Djembe Art (via Wikipedia)<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

I\u2019ve had my djembe in the bedroom closet for the past few\u00a0weeks\u2013long story\u2013but my husband needed to make space for a suitcase, so I told him he could take it out. I needed to start practicing again anyway. This morning, I got out of the shower and took my towel off in the bedroom to get dressed, same as always. But I was suddenly struck (get it??) by the sight of the djembe in the corner. I had one of those moments of sharpened reality: the goblet shape of the drum and the human shape of me, the two of us facing each other, waiting for something.<\/p>\n

I acknowledged the moment and went downstairs\u00a0to make\u00a0breakfast for my daughter. As she ate, I took a moment to finally wash a teacup so long-neglected\u00a0that it had gotten moldy inside. When I put down the bottle of dish soap, one perfect bubble came out of the top and began to float around. It was small enough to be stable, but large enough that I could see the globules of soap swirling around on its surface. It looked like a perfect little planet drifting in space.<\/p>\n

I\u2019m fully aware of the dangers of calling a toddler\u2019s attention to something tiny and delicate, but after a few minutes of admiring it, I couldn\u2019t help but show it to her. Predictably, her very first reaction was that she wanted to pop it. Even so, I obeyed a sudden\u00a0instinct and wafted it over to where she was sitting by waving my hands around it. When she reached her hand out to do the deed, the bubble\u00a0suddenly drifted up out of her reach. \u201cI wanna pop it!\u201d she complained. \u201cIt might not want to be popped,\u201d I replied. She didn\u2019t seem to buy that, but she nevertheless sat back to watch it float. I told her about how we\u2019re so tiny the earth looks flat to us, but it\u2019s actually round, like the bubble.<\/p>\n

Then\u00a0the bubble\u00a0did an amazing thing: it floated up into the chandelier hanging above our table and weaved\u00a0between the branches<\/em> before coming out again. My daughter and I laughed in delight. \u201cThat was amazing!\u201d I said. \u201cIt went in the lamp!\u201d she added, the toddler version of \u201cHoly shit, did you fucking see that!?\u201d<\/p>\n

The bubble started to come close to her again and I knew the end was near. After examining its surface patterns for another moment, I stepped back as she stretched out her hand. Pop.<\/p>\n

It\u2019s all well and good to invoke\u00a0gods and spirits in elaborate rituals. But it\u2019s far\u00a0too easy to collect explosively numinous experiences like badges: I aspected Hecate, the Morrigan spoke to me, I proved to myself that the gods are real.<\/em> I\u2019m dismayed at the growing sentiment among Pagans\u00a0that literal polytheism is the One True Way. Monotheism is just colonialism,\u00a0non-subservient\u00a0practices are either fluff or dangerous,\u00a0and anyone who doesn\u2019t believe the gods are literally real isn\u2019t doing religion at all. Paganism has developed a dynamic\u00a0found in\u00a0other religions: the hardliners feel free to bash the softies all they want, but are aghast when they themselves are criticized.<\/p>\n

I often love the showier aspects of witchcraft and Paganism. But what keeps me going are the quiet moments: the moments when drums and bubbles speak to you, when animism isn\u2019t a thing you tell yourself\u00a0but rather a deep\u00a0imperative. The moments when you\u2019re reminded of Shekhinah\u2019s original definition: indwelling. The moments when God\/dess dwells within you and around you, when everything, seen and unseen, is God\/dess.<\/p>\n

The moment when you feel your strength renewed\u2013not to put in more hours at\u00a0work or get more stuff done, but to walk through the world with an open, curious, vulnerable heart. That, to me, is Shekhinah.<\/p>\n


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It’s all well and good to invoke gods and spirits in elaborate rituals. But it’s far too easy to collect explosively numinous experiences like badges: “I aspected Hecate,” “the Morrigan spoke to me,” “I proved to myself that the gods are real.” But what keeps me going are the quiet moments.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1913,"featured_media":564,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[151,153],"tags":[108,8,26,44,46,53,66,69],"class_list":["post-562","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-goddess","category-shekhinah","tag-animism","tag-capitalism","tag-goddess","tag-pagan","tag-paganism","tag-shekhinah","tag-witch","tag-witchcraft"],"yoast_head":"\nFeeling Shekhinah<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"It's all well and good to invoke gods and spirits in elaborate rituals. 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