{"id":3262,"date":"2017-01-03T18:56:21","date_gmt":"2017-01-03T23:56:21","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/admin.patheos.com\/blogs\/sickpilgrim\/?p=3262"},"modified":"2017-01-03T18:56:21","modified_gmt":"2017-01-03T23:56:21","slug":"letter-devout-mothers-son-skipped-christmas-mass","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/sickpilgrim\/2017\/01\/letter-devout-mothers-son-skipped-christmas-mass\/","title":{"rendered":"A Letter to the Devout Mother’s Son Who Skipped Christmas Mass"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<\/head>

\"hand10\"<\/a><\/p>\n

This week, I read an article<\/a> on a Catholic blog about a son\u2019s absence from Christmas Mass and the grief this caused his mother. Even though the article was written for those lamenting family members who have left the practice of religion, I wanted to write a letter to the son and make him not just an object of a blog post, but an active and considered person.<\/em><\/p>\n

January 2, 2017<\/p>\n

Dear Homie,<\/p>\n

I get it.<\/p>\n

For years, you\u2019ve been participating in this religion, this faith idea. And it was your family\u2019s choice. You probably didn\u2019t dare question\u2013at least not out loud\u2013the truth of the Trinity or transubstantiation (see, I went to Catholic school too). Sometimes the presupposition that God even is <\/i>seems too basic to question in those environments.<\/p>\n

But now that you\u2019re in college, the independence is refreshing. The cement is hardening: your personality is setting, and you\u2019re deciding which values will be essential to who you are as an adult.<\/p>\n

Here\u2019s the kicker. I hope that religion is part of that. I hope that you come to see the beautiful eccentricity of the Catholic Church and the morbid awesomeness of the cross.<\/p>\n

But I hope that you <\/i>see it that way. In your own time, in your own way. That you make the church yours, not because it\u2019s a family tradition, or because it will make\u00a0your momma happy.<\/p>\n

I get that for the\u00a0first time in your life, maybe, you don\u2019t feel yoked or corralled to go where others tell you where to go or what to believe.<\/p>\n

American stubbornness at its finest.<\/p>\n

That\u2019s not entirely a bad thing.<\/p>\n

I think that church attendance will always dwindle if it\u2019s comprised of people who are only there to satisfy others. The Church\u2019s growth and sustainability is greatly influenced by the ability of its people to wrestle with God, in a Biblical sense<\/a>, or the grace of doubt.<\/p>\n

So do things for your own sake, especially things as important as what you believe. Don\u2019t be guilted into being corralled.\u00a0It takes a lot to break away from anything that feels empty and just handed down to you, to find your own way. I want to commend you for your honesty, and for doing what feels right for you, and for you alone.<\/p>\n

But going\u00a0to Christmas Mass only to make others happy isn\u2019t a bad thing<\/a>. Love for your momma is a good reason to go. Whether you attend Mass that one day a year or not is less important than why you choose to go or skip it.<\/p>\n

So yeah, I\u2019m not surprised that the barrage of emailed video clips, news articles, and interviews haven\u2019t impacted you. It\u2019s the same as when most of us pretend we\u2019re not home when Mormons<\/a> or Jehovah\u2019s Witnesses show up at our door. The underlying authenticity is lost when we only see propaganda.<\/p>\n

However, spoiler alert: I am Catholic. I do believe that the Church houses the greatest Truth we can ascertain in this world. It\u2019d make my day to see you at Mass, then talk to you after about what parts of it seem great and what parts seem ridiculous. I don\u2019t have any good answers, but I\u2019ll listen and probably commiserate with you on certain leaps of faith.<\/p>\n

Deep conversations about why we are in church in the first place are essential. And \u201cto make others happy\u201d might be a good reason to go to Christmas or Easter Mass, but\u00a0it\u2019s not going to keep you there long term.<\/p>\n

So more than lecturing you on what is good for you and for your eternal soul, I hope to hear from you. What made you decide not to go to Mass on Christmas? What are the important things in your life right now?<\/p>\n

Maybe what you need isn\u2019t videos and articles, but someone who listens. And maybe over a beer we can talk about the best and worst parts of being Catholic.<\/p>\n

Not a grand gesture to save your soul. Just offering nonjudgmental ear to hear your story.<\/p>\n

Your pal,<\/p>\n

Pest<\/p>\n

***<\/p>\n

Want to write to the Pestilence of Sick Pilgrim, Matt? He\u2019s not a theologian, nor a philosopher, nor particularly smart or holy. What Pest is, though, is willing to explore the huge environment of doubt that is often ignored in good believers\u2019 circles. Don\u2019t expect advice or worthwhile answers; this isn\u2019t a damn advice column. However, if you want some companionship for the journey you\u2019re on, email info@sickpilgrim.com<\/a> with the topic \u201cYo Pest.\u201d Unless you specifically request otherwise, your letter may appear in a blog post.<\/em><\/p>\n<\/body><\/html>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

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