{"id":13023,"date":"2014-06-17T11:59:24","date_gmt":"2014-06-17T16:59:24","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/simchafisher\/?p=13023"},"modified":"2014-06-17T11:59:24","modified_gmt":"2014-06-17T16:59:24","slug":"at-the-register-baby-got-backstory","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/simchafisher\/2014\/06\/17\/at-the-register-baby-got-backstory\/","title":{"rendered":"At the Register: Baby Got Backstory"},"content":{"rendered":"<!DOCTYPE html PUBLIC \"-\/\/W3C\/\/DTD HTML 4.0 Transitional\/\/EN\" \"http:\/\/www.w3.org\/TR\/REC-html40\/loose.dtd\">\n<html><head><meta http-equiv=\"content-type\" content=\"text\/html; charset=utf-8\"><meta http-equiv=\"content-type\" content=\"text\/html; charset=utf-8\"><\/head><body><blockquote><p>MR. BAX AND HIS TOXIC BEANS. In this groundbreaking docufairytale, a race of strong, gentle beings lives undisturbed, practicing basic hygiene and relying on essential oils and whatnot to keep them in good health and systemic balance in their home in the clouds \u2014 until Big Pharma, headed by the nefarious Dr. Bax, dupes the gullible population on the ground into believing in \u201cMagic Bax Beans\u201d or, as they come to be known, \u201cBaxeans.\u201d Because of these beans, which grow and proliferate at a $u$piciou$ rate, the peaceful lives of the gentle giants are infiltrated and disrupted forever, and everybody falls down and dies.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p>If, for some reason, you wish you read the rest, <a href=\"http:\/\/www.ncregister.com\/blog\/simcha-fisher\/baby-got-backstory\" class=\" decorated-link\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"nofollow\">you can find it at the Register<\/a>.<\/p>\n<\/body><\/html>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>MR. BAX AND HIS TOXIC BEANS. In this groundbreaking docufairytale, a race of strong, gentle beings lives undisturbed, practicing basic hygiene and relying on essential oils and whatnot to keep them in good health and systemic balance in their home in the clouds \u2014 until Big Pharma, headed by the nefarious Dr. Bax, dupes the [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1533,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[370,4],"class_list":["post-13023","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized","tag-fairy-tales","tag-national-catholic-register"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v21.1 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>At the Register: Baby Got Backstory<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"MR. BAX AND HIS TOXIC BEANS. In this groundbreaking docufairytale, a race of strong, gentle beings lives undisturbed, practicing basic hygiene and relying\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/simchafisher\/2014\/06\/17\/at-the-register-baby-got-backstory\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"At the Register: Baby Got Backstory\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"MR. BAX AND HIS TOXIC BEANS. 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