{"id":13433,"date":"2014-07-29T08:30:47","date_gmt":"2014-07-29T13:30:47","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/admin.patheos.com\/blogs\/simchafisher\/?p=13433"},"modified":"2014-07-29T08:30:47","modified_gmt":"2014-07-29T13:30:47","slug":"little-kids-big-fair-no-tears","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/simchafisher\/2014\/07\/29\/little-kids-big-fair-no-tears\/","title":{"rendered":"Little kids, big fair, no tears"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<\/head>

(This post originally ran in 2010. We\u2019re planning on hitting the fair this week, so I thought I\u2019d rerun it. I\u2019m enjoying the old pictures of my kids, all shorter and chubbier, and my husband hairier!<\/em>)<\/p>\n

The fair!\u00a0 Who doesn\u2019t love the fair?<\/p>\n

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I\u2019m talking about a country fair, with sheep and cows and pigs and rabbits, and horses pulling stuff, quilts and strawberry preserves and giant gourds on display, and a giant carnival with flashing lights, grinding gears, horrible games, greasy food, blaring music, shrieking kids, and toothless carneys. Who, I ask you, does not love the fair?<\/div>\n
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If you\u2019re taking your kids to the fair for the first time, you are going to hate it.<\/div>\n
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It will be, second only to the birth itself, the most miserable, sticky, disappointing, and ludicrously expensive day of your life as parents.\u00a0 You will go home wondering why you just paid hundreds of dollars to make your kids this dirty and unhappy.<\/div>\n
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Also, you\u2019re fairly sure you had eight children when you left the house, and now you only have six.<\/div>\n
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But it doesn\u2019t have to be that way.\u00a0 We kept trying and failing to have fun at the fair, and eventually we worked out some guidelines.\u00a0 And this year, it finally happened:\u00a0 we actually had a good time! All of us, even the wimp, the show-off,\u00a0 the escape artist, the malcontent, the spoilsport, the worrier, and everyone.<\/div>\n
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Well, the baby actually hated it, but she kind of hates everything right now.<\/div>\n
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So here is how we managed:<\/div>\n
MONEY<\/strong><\/div>\n
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Start saving money last year.\u00a0 I\u2019m serious \u2014 this is an expensive day.\u00a0 You have to just accept that it costs what it costs, and there is really no point in making the effort if you\u2019re not going to go whole hog.\u00a0 Be prepared to shell out for admission (and possibly parking), ride tickets or passes, food, souvenirs, and possibly for special rides or shows \u2014 plus emergency cash for something unexpected, like bug spray or a bail bond.<\/div>\n
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And do some research.\u00a0 There are usually a few cheaper days and a few expensive days, so work out exactly how much it will cost to do everything you want to do.\u00a0\u00a0 I recommend going on an unlimited pass or bracelet day.\u00a0 We tried individual tickets, and it was not only more expensive, but made us very anxious, because we had to pace ourselves and conserve tickets.<\/div>\n
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WEATHER<\/strong><\/div>\n
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Check the weather report! A wonderful day can be ruined by\u00a0 clothes that are too hot or too cold.\u00a0 Once we went on a rainy day, and lost a whole hour off our \u201cunlimited\u201d ride time.\u00a0 And once we went on such a hot day, everyone just wanted to sit on a bench and suck down lemonade.\u00a0 Which we could have done at home for much cheaper, with slightly less of that nauseating barnyard smell.<\/div>\n
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Bring sunblock and lots and lots of drinks.\u00a0 The screaming, walking around, and the general excitement will make your kids even thirstier than they normally would be after a day outdoors.\u00a0 There will be drinks for sale, but they will be EXPENSIVE.\u00a0\u00a0 Have I mentioned this?\u00a0 It\u2019s not because I\u2019m a cheapskate; it\u2019s because I don\u2019t want you to have to tell a weeping 7-year-old girl, \u201cI know I said you could ride the pony, but Mama spent her last $6 on your fourth lemonade!\u201d<\/div>\n
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GETTING LOST<\/strong><\/div>\n
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Make sure your kids know what to do if they get lost.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 We tell them to first yell and yell (in case the rest of the family is right around the corner) and then they can go to someone who looks like a nice mother, and say, \u201cI\u2019m lost \u2013 can you help me find my parents?\u201d<\/div>\n
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Make sure your kids know their parents\u2019 actual names (a surprising number assume Daddy\u2019s name is \u201cDaddy\u201d), and what their parents are wearing (my daughter once described me as \u201cthe one with the haircut\u201d). Dress your kids in distinctive clothing and write down descriptions of everyone (\u201cblack sweatpants, a Jack Kemp T-shirt, and a homemade haircut\u201d) in case you need other people to help you find them, and are too flustered to remember what they look like. UPDATE: We now take photos of the kids with the cell phone before we leave. Easy peasy.<\/div>\n
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The earlier in the day you go, the smaller the crowds will be.\u00a0 Know which kids are likely to bolt or wander away, and give them a special lecture beforehand.\u00a0 (We didn\u2019t need one of\u00a0these<\/a>\u00a0until kid #7 could walk, and then we needed it desperately.)<\/div>\n
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PACING<\/strong><\/div>\n
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Plan for variety, especially if you need to stretch your money.\u00a0 Do something thrilling, then something where you sit down, then something where you wander around, then a snack, then something for the older kids, then something for the younger kids, etc.\u00a0 Save something primo for last, so when it\u2019s almost time to go, you can say, \u201cOkay, the fair is over . . .\u00a0but not before we do such-and-such!<\/em>\u201d\u00a0 Makes your exit much happier.<\/div>\n
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Bring the roomiest stroller you have.\u00a0 The fair is completely exhausting for little ones, so kids who\u2019ve outgrown the stroller might need a ride.\u00a0 Also, it\u2019s helpful to have somewhere to stash all those drinks that I really, really, really recommend you bring.<\/div>\n
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FOOD<\/strong><\/div>\n
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In order to make the effort and expense worthwhile, you will want to be there for several hours\u00a0 \u2014 which means you will be there during a meal time.\u00a0 I recommend packing a picnic for the meal, and spending your money on snacks, instead.\u00a0 Kids don\u2019t appreciate an $8 steak sub, but they will always remember getting a cloud of cotton candy or a caramel apple with rainbow sprinkles.<\/div>\n
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We generally\u00a0arrive at lunch time, but then go on rides right away before eating.<\/em>\u00a0 The kids would have been too excited to eat at first, and would have just pecked at the meal, and then begged for snacks later.\u00a0 After a few rides, they were hungry happy to take a break for sandwiches and chips.<\/div>\n
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STICKINESS<\/strong><\/div>\n
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Succumb to the stickiness.\u00a0 Your kids will be just disgusting by the end of the day:\u00a0 sweaty, sugary, dusty, and, yes, possibly throw-uppy (although that never happened to us, miraculously).\u00a0 It\u2019s a good idea to have them wear clothes you don\u2019t care about. Be smart about timing:\u00a0 they can ride the Neck Snapper, but not right after eating one of Doody\u2019s Famous Fried Pickles.<\/div>\n
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Bring a change of clothes for the youngest kids, and plastic bags.\u00a0 Trust me on this.\u00a0 Sooner or later, you will be stuck holding something that desperately needs to be wrapped up in a plastic bag.<\/div>\n
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EXPECTATIONS (and aftermath)<\/strong><\/div>\n
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Discuss expectations ahead of time.\u00a0\u00a0 Before you even enter the grounds, let them know what they will be doing, and what they will not \u2014 and stick to it.\u00a0 How many rides can they expect to go on?\u00a0\u00a0 Will you be playing games, buying a meal, buying snacks, buying balloons, buying toys, riding the pony, seeing a show, seeing the animals?\u00a0\u00a0 Especially if you have lots of kids with various desires, just winging it will lead to someone feeling disappointed.\u00a0 (We skip the games of chance altogether, and just let them pick out a souvenir.\u00a0 Not as exciting, but cheaper, and less heartache.)<\/div>\n
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My husband and I discuss\u00a0our<\/em>\u00a0expectations, too:\u00a0 we remind each other that our #1 goal is to give the kids a super fun day, and that we will both try our hardest to be patient and generous, and do our best to give the kids what they want (within reason).\u00a0\u00a0A day of fun is no time to teach lessons.<\/strong>\u00a0It\u2019s okay to be over-indulgent once in a while, as long as you\u2019re not spoiling them to pieces\u00a0on most other days.<\/div>\n
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Also, this may sound silly, but unless you\u2019re getting home late at night, it\u2019s a good idea to have some mild treat waiting for them at home \u2014 lollipops or a special movie.\u00a0 Kids are tricky, especially if they\u2019ve been looking forward to something for weeks\u2013 and now it\u2019s over.\u00a0 You will expect them to be grateful and satisfied, but they will likely feel exhausted, let down, and cranky.<\/div>\n
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So go easy on them.\u00a0 Tomorrow, you can go back to the old routine, but it\u2019s nice to do whatever you need to do to keep things pleasant today.\u00a0 And once the kiddies are in bed, you can have a nice little drink and put your feet up.<\/div>\n
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And for goodness\u2019 sake, take better pictures than I did.\u00a0 Never before have so many knees, ears, and backs of heads been captured for posterity.<\/div>\n

There! Now you can go to the fair.<\/span><\/p>\n<\/body><\/html>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

(This post originally ran in 2010. We\u2019re planning on hitting the fair this week, so I thought I\u2019d rerun it. I\u2019m enjoying the old pictures of my kids, all shorter and chubbier, and my husband hairier!) The fair!\u00a0 Who doesn\u2019t love the fair? \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 I\u2019m talking about a country fair, with sheep and […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1533,"featured_media":13434,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-13433","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"yoast_head":"\nLittle kids, big fair, no tears<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"(This post originally ran in 2010. We're planning on hitting the fair this week, so I thought I'd rerun it. 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