{"id":14109,"date":"2014-12-05T10:36:59","date_gmt":"2014-12-05T15:36:59","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/admin.patheos.com\/blogs\/simchafisher\/?p=14109"},"modified":"2015-01-10T18:10:45","modified_gmt":"2015-01-10T23:10:45","slug":"seven-quick-takes-oy-have-you-got-the-wrong-number","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/simchafisher\/2014\/12\/05\/seven-quick-takes-oy-have-you-got-the-wrong-number\/","title":{"rendered":"Seven Quick Takes: Oy, have you got the wrong number"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<\/head>

\"7_quick_takes_sm1\"<\/a><\/p>\n

\u20131\u2013<\/strong><\/p>\n

It being Advent, it occurred to me that Toad\u00a0more or less makes an act of contrition in \u201cAlone\u201d in Frog and Toad All Year<\/em><\/a>:<\/p>\n

\u201c<\/span>Frog<\/span>! I\u00a0<\/span>am sorry<\/span>\u00a0for the\u00a0<\/span>dumb things<\/span>\u00a0I\u00a0<\/span>do<\/span>. I\u00a0<\/span>am sorry<\/span>\u00a0for\u00a0<\/span>all<\/span>\u00a0the\u00a0<\/span>silly things<\/span>\u00a0I\u00a0<\/span>say<\/span>. Please be my friend again!\u201d And then he falls into the water with all his sandwiches, amen.<\/span><\/p>\n

PIC toad with basket<\/p>\n

\u20132\u2013<\/strong><\/p>\n

Here is a picture of Arnold Lobel with his daughter, Adrianne:<\/p>\n

PIC Lobel with daughter<\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/p>\n

found here.<\/a>\u00a0It says:<\/p>\n

She says what she learnt most from her father as an artist was \u201cdiscipline and faith -and\u00a0 you got up every day and just faced that drawing table whether you had an idea or not, and just kept at it the same hours every day, until you did have an idea. And generally it was a good one.\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Want to make a living doing something creative? Read and re-read and internalize the paragraph above.<\/p>\n

It\u2019s also probably a good idea to spend a good, long time creating things that you don\u2019t care about at all \u2014 and learn to do a good job at it.\u00a0If you\u2019re, oh, let\u2019s say, a writer, learn to hit the word count your employer wants, don\u2019t use the words they don\u2019t like, hit all the points they want you to hit, and make it readable\u00a0even if the topic is deathly dull. And get it in on time, even if you\u2019re sick, or bored, or think you\u2019re too good for this kind of thing.<\/p>\n

Your natural talent and your creative spark and your originality are just one aspect of what you have to offer, and they are useless unless you also learn discipline and skill. You\u2019re an exquisite jain-yus? Who cares? Shed the idea that even one single person owes you a reading.<\/p>\n

Also,\u00a0learning how to do a good job whether you\u2019re inspired or not helps you stress out less when you do what to write something that does<\/em> mean a\u00a0lot to you. It helps you go, \u201cOh, well, what the hell\u201d when some editor makes a hash of what you submitted. You did your best, you turned it in, you cashed your check, you moved along.<\/p>\n

PIC soapbox.\u00a0These things need handrails for giant pregnant ladies who need somewhere safe to rant.<\/p>\n

\u20133\u2013<\/strong><\/p>\n

Speaking of brilliant, hard-working writers,my second-grader brought her journal home yesterday, and it was full of unfinished stories. Here is one:<\/p>\n

\"photo<\/a><\/p>\n

\u201cOne night Ashley and Maya went to the grave of their old friend, Lisa. It all happed 4 years ago in a grave. The only person with her was her boyfriend, Jim. He claims that she was pulled underground by\u201d<\/p>\n

There was an accompanying picture two willowy teenagers with flowing hair, fleeing gracefully from a gravestone with an arm coming up from it. It appears that their dead pal was black.\u00a0Talk about learning your craft! I don\u2019t know how she knows that that\u2019s how horror movies go, but I think she has a back-up career, if the whole ballerina thing falls through.<\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/p>\n

\u20134\u2013<\/strong><\/p>\n

We showed the kids The Manchurian Candidate<\/em> the other day, because, I forget why. We try not to keep stopping movies and explaining things constantly, but remember, we have seven daughters. So when Frank Sinatra meets the lady on the train, my husband got up, found the clicker, smacked \u201cpause,\u201d and said, \u201cAll right, now look, girls. If you are on a train and you meet Frank Sinatra, and he is all sweaty and shaky, and can\u2019t even light his own cigarette, you do not give him your address<\/em>.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/p>\n

PIC Sinatra. She\u2019s thinking, \u201cUnstable? Secretive? Bathed in nervous sweat? HOT DIGGITY!\u201d<\/p>\n

In the interest of fairness, he also counselled the boys against proposing to girls who are clearly nuts just because they happen to take their shirts off when you get bitten by a snake.<\/p>\n

In other news,\u00a0I had forgotten just how weird this movie is.<\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/p>\n

\u20135\u2013<\/strong><\/p>\n

Would you like to laugh until the dog gets worried? Check out\u00a0Bad Kid Jokes<\/a>. These are the jokes that kids sent into a joke site, and which they couldn\u2019t use for . . . one reason or another. Sample:<\/p>\n

A MAN ALWAYS LAUGHING HIS NAME IS WILLSON.<\/span>
1 DAY A FREIND OF WILLSON ASK HIM:WHY YOU ALWAYS HAPPY?<\/span>
WILLSON LOOK HIM FREIND AND SLAP HIM FREIND<\/span>
AND THAT DAY WILLSON NEVER LAUGH BECAUSE WILLSON IS GHOST NOW<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

\u20136\u2013<\/strong><\/p>\n

Benny helped me make a side dish for supper the other day.<\/p>\n

\"photo<\/a><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/p>\n

Her recipe included\u00a0baking soda, salt, cinnamon, cheese, sage, eggs, and miscellaneous. While breathing heavily, whisk all ingredients together\u00a0until you\u2019re bored. \u00a0Let congeal, then move onto wrecking up the bathroom.<\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/p>\n

\"photo<\/a><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/p>\n

This is the kind of thing that makes people say, \u201cOh, you are such an easygoing mother! You have such interior freedom! What wonderful peace you must have cultivated!\u201d and I\u2019m like, \u201cNo, this way I can be on Facebook.\u201d Given the choice, I will almost always choose cleaning up a mess over keeping things under reasonable control. \u00a0That\u2019s why we have ten kids. It just seemed easier than not having ten kids.<\/p>\n

\u20137\u2013<\/strong><\/p>\n

Speaking of getting things wrong, it reminds me of this:<\/p>\n

Phone rings.
\nMrs. Moskowitz: Hello?
\nCultivated voice: Good awfternoon. I am calling to inquire whether you might be available to come to tea with her ladyship Tuesday after next.
\nMrs. Moskowitz: OY, have you got the wrong number.<\/p>\n

\u00a0***<\/p>\n

And that\u2019s a wrap. After many years, Jen Fulwiler has passed the Seven Quick Takes torch onto the hilarious Kelly Mantoan of This Ain\u2019t the Lyceum.\u00a0<\/a>\u00a0Head on over and say hello to Kelly and check out all the other QTs. Happy Friday!<\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/p>\n<\/body><\/html>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

\u20131\u2013 It being Advent, it occurred to me that Toad\u00a0more or less makes an act of contrition in \u201cAlone\u201d in Frog and Toad All Year: \u201cFrog! I\u00a0am sorry\u00a0for the\u00a0dumb things\u00a0I\u00a0do. I\u00a0am sorry\u00a0for\u00a0all\u00a0the\u00a0silly things\u00a0I\u00a0say. Please be my friend again!\u201d And then he falls into the water with all his sandwiches, amen. PIC toad with basket \u20132\u2013 […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1533,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[156],"class_list":["post-14109","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized","tag-seven-quick-takes"],"yoast_head":"\nSeven Quick Takes: Oy, have you got the wrong number<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"--1-- It being Advent, it occurred to me that Toad\u00a0more or less makes an act of contrition in "Alone" in Frog and Toad All Year: "Frog! 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