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{"id":16357,"date":"2015-05-22T13:19:44","date_gmt":"2015-05-22T18:19:44","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/admin.patheos.com\/blogs\/simchafisher\/?p=16357"},"modified":"2019-01-07T16:34:39","modified_gmt":"2019-01-07T21:34:39","slug":"would-your-kids-know-what-to-do-if-someone-molested-them","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/simchafisher\/2015\/05\/22\/would-your-kids-know-what-to-do-if-someone-molested-them\/","title":{"rendered":"Would your kids know what to do if someone molested them?"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<\/head>

$\"Scared_Child_at_Nighttime\"$ <\/a><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/p>\n

I don\u2019t care about the Duggars any more than I care about any family in the news. Many Catholics see them as role models, but \u00a0they seem to have attitudes about children and women which are antithetical to Catholic ideas.\u00a0Did their son molest girls because<\/em> of his upbringing? Maybe, maybe not. \u00a0I\u2019m not familiar enough with their parenting style to know. I do know that it\u2019s possible for parents to do their hardest to raise their kids right, and their kids do shitty things anyway. It\u2019s also true that families\u00a0who look squeaky clean and happy on the outside are hiding a lot of interior darkness. I haven\u2019t followed the story closely, so I don\u2019t have an opinion about whose fault everything is.\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

But the story made my ask myself: would my kids know what to do if someone molested them?<\/strong><\/p>\n

There are always going to be predators in the world. Your child is reasonably likely to come into contact with one eventually, and this is true whether you home school or use Catholic or public or private schools, and it\u2019s true if you keep your kids tucked under your wings or let them roam. It\u2019s true if most of your friends are conservative Catholic or none of your friends are even religious. It\u2019s a good world, overall, but there are bad people in it. You can\u2019t change that.<\/p>\n

What you can do is give your kids a clue about what is reasonable behavior and what isn\u2019t, and what to do if someone is behaving badly.<\/p>\n

This pdf guide for parents gives a reasonable overview of how to discuss keeping kids safe from sexual abuse<\/a>.\u00a0It\u2019s secular, and pretty basic, so you can use it as a starting point for conversations. \u00a0No one wants to talk about these things, but you must. You must. Don\u2019t assume that they\u2019ll be fine, and don\u2019t assume they\u2019ll know what to do if something goes wrong.<\/p>\n

Don\u2019t forget to ask your kids if they have any questions after you talk! Young kids think very concretely, about real-life circumstances, and they always remember information better if they asked about it themselves.<\/p>\n

And also: talk to your kids all the time, about everything. If you\u2019re not in the habit of chatting about this and that, why would they come to you when there\u2019s something scary and weird to talk about? I know some kids just don\u2019t like to talk \u2014 or, in some cases, they may just not enjoy talking to you<\/em>. When that\u2019s the case, it\u2019s a good idea to tell them, repeatedly<\/em>, that they can<\/em> talk to you, or that they can<\/em> talk to your spouse, or that they can<\/em> talk to [trusted adult X]. Some kids need you to open a door a thousand times before they even think of putting a foot through.<\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/p>\n

***
\nImage via Wikimedia Commons<\/a><\/p>\n<\/body><\/html>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"