{"id":2763,"date":"2011-01-14T10:21:47","date_gmt":"2011-01-14T15:21:47","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/simchafisher\/?p=2763"},"modified":"2015-11-16T23:27:57","modified_gmt":"2015-11-17T04:27:57","slug":"7-quick-takes-things-that-fell-out-of-my-poor-suffering-brain-edition","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/simchafisher\/2011\/01\/14\/7-quick-takes-things-that-fell-out-of-my-poor-suffering-brain-edition\/","title":{"rendered":"7 Quick Takes:  &#8220;Things that fell out of my poor suffering brain&#8221; Edition"},"content":{"rendered":"<!DOCTYPE html PUBLIC \"-\/\/W3C\/\/DTD HTML 4.0 Transitional\/\/EN\" \"http:\/\/www.w3.org\/TR\/REC-html40\/loose.dtd\">\n<html><head><meta http-equiv=\"content-type\" content=\"text\/html; charset=utf-8\"><meta http-equiv=\"content-type\" content=\"text\/html; charset=utf-8\"><\/head><body><p>I have taken up being sick and angry as a full-time job this week.\u00a0 So this is what you get.<\/p>\n<p><a href=\"http:\/\/www.conversiondiary.com\" class=\" decorated-link\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"nofollow\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-2781\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-media.patheos.com\/blogs\/sites\/358\/2011\/01\/7_quick_takes_sm.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"290\" height=\"195\"><\/a><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><strong>\u20131\u2013<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>We got about as much snow as anyone did the other day, and now we can\u2019t find our garbage cans.\u00a0 Usually my husband shovels, but when his back is out and the rest of us are half dead with our post-strep throat cold which we picked up in the hospital when my son got his tonsils out \u2013 \u2013 well, then we call the plow guy.<\/p>\n<p>Being a hard-working New England girl, I always feel guilty about hiring a plow until I see the work that he does, and how it takes approximately four-and-a-half minutes.\u00a0 Then I think about how it would take us approximately four-and-a-half hours to do a much crappier job with a shovel, and I think, \u201cThat is what money is for.\u201d\u00a0 He\u2019s cheap, too!\u00a0 And nice.<\/p>\n<p>In fact, after he plowed, he told me that if we ever wanted work done on the house (last summer he converted our old shower into a laundry area), he would be happy to do it <em>at cost<\/em>.<\/p>\n<p>Why would someone do that?\u00a0 I\u2019m seriously wondering.\u00a0 Does he just like being with us?\u00a0 Or has he secretly spotted gold ore in the walls and wants a piece of it?\u00a0 Or what?<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><strong>\u20132\u2013<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>This:<\/p>\n<iframe loading=\"lazy\" title=\"The Big Black Hat\" width=\"500\" height=\"375\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/o9Yw5WMd6Ec?feature=oembed\" frameborder=\"0\" allow=\"accelerometer; autoplay; clipboard-write; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture; web-share\" referrerpolicy=\"strict-origin-when-cross-origin\" allowfullscreen><\/iframe>\n<p>was a huge part of my childhood, along with these things:<\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-media.patheos.com\/blogs\/sites\/358\/2011\/01\/spider.jpg\" class=\" decorated-link\" target=\"_blank\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-2765\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-media.patheos.com\/blogs\/sites\/358\/2011\/01\/spider.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"132\" height=\"140\"><\/a><\/p>\n<p>(On the flip side of the record was \u201c<a href=\"http:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=_D-LmRNdQiQ\" class=\" decorated-link\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"nofollow\">Tie Me Kangaroo Down, Spor<\/a>t.\u201d\u00a0 In this recording, they seem to have taken out the \u201cLet me abos go loose, Bruce.\u201d\u00a0 I didn\u2019t find out until much later that \u201cabo\u201d was offensive slang for \u201caboriginal.\u201d\u00a0 I always thought he was saying \u201celbow,\u201d and thought it was an odd desire for a dying man.)<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><strong>\u20133\u2013<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>It\u2019s funny enough when kids pronounce things oddly, but it\u2019s even funnier when they used to say it right, but suddenly, for reasons of their own, start saying it in some new, strange, wrong way.\u00a0 Every morning, the three-year-old asks for oatmeal.\u00a0 About a week ago, though, she expressed a strong desire for \u201coitmeal,\u201d and that\u2019s what she\u2019s been saying ever since.\u00a0 And the baby, who is 21 months old, started saying \u201chyelp\u201d instead of \u201chelp,\u201d for some reason.\u00a0 So we hear, in a suffering little voice, \u201cMama, mama,<em> hyelp<\/em> me!\u00a0 You come <em>hyelp<\/em> my sock!\u201d<\/p>\n<p>She has gone back to asking to \u201cnurse,\u201d however, which is sad.\u00a0 Originally, she said \u201cnurse,\u201d which transformed into \u201cnurd,\u201d which morphed, to my delight, into \u201cnurdle.\u201d\u00a0 \u201cMama, I want to nurdle!\u201d\u00a0 And nurdle we would.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><strong>\u20134\u2013<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Relatedly, I\u2019m still getting a huge kick out of having a baby who is still nursing, but can talk.\u00a0 She is something of a comedian, and likes to think of punchlines while she is nursing.\u00a0 Then she unplugs for a minute, makes sure I\u2019m looking at her, and says, \u201cAaaa-OOOOO-gah!\u201d\u00a0 and then latches back on, grinning.\u00a0 Or a couple of times, she was apparently thinking about Godzilla, because she took a break just long enough to say, \u201cGrrrr. Aaaahhh!\u201d<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><strong>\u20135\u2013<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>I think this machine has been around for years, but I guess it\u2019s now smaller and available to the public?\u00a0 It\u2019s the <a href=\"http:\/\/www.dailymail.co.uk\/sciencetech\/article-1345789\/MakerBot-Thing-O-Matic-The-portable-factory-box-create-3D-object-plastic.html\" class=\" decorated-link\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"nofollow\">Thing-o-matic<\/a>, \u201ca \u2018factory in a box\u2019 that claims to create any three-dimensional object out of plastic in a matter of minutes.\u201d\u00a0 You have to start with a 3-D schematic image, I guess, which apparently you can get with Google in some way.\u00a0 This video seems to show an earlier version of the machine, making a model of the Statue of Liberty.<\/p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=MidPMCnJif8&#038;feature=related\">http:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=MidPMCnJif8&amp;feature=related<\/a>\n<p>Astonishing machine, but the name needs some hyelp.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><strong>\u20136\u2013<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>I was behind a car with so many enlightened bumper stickers, I expected the whole thing to start levitating on a cloud of self-righteousness.\u00a0 The most egregious one said, \u201cI\u2019m already against the next war.\u201d\u00a0 Excellent!\u00a0 I\u2019ll be sure to notify the alien overlords, when they come to attack, that the occupants of that car are such fine, gentle, wise people that they do not wish to be defended.\u00a0 I also wonder if they are against all past wars, as well as potential future ones?\u00a0 Big fans of George III, slavery, and the Third Reich?\u00a0 And whatever that French and Indian thing was about?\u00a0 Bah.<\/p>\n<p>I also saw another car that had the following decals lined up across the rear window:\u00a0 Cub Scouts, Boy Scouts, Knights of Columbus, Rotary, and KISS.\u00a0 I think I\u2019d rather be friends with them.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><strong>\u20137\u2013<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Saw another bumper sticker yesterday:\u00a0 \u201cMy other vehicle is my imagination.\u201d\u00a0 My kids asked me why I was throwing up all over the dashboard.\u00a0 I guess I\u2019m just sensitive to these things.\u00a0 Anyway, my 8-year-old son offered that, when he grew up, he was going to have a bumper sticker that says, \u201cVENGEANCE IS SWEET.\u201d\u00a0 His younger brother wholeheartedly agreed, and it turns out that the two of them were under the impression that personal and bloody vengeance is a thoroughly brilliant and moral career path.<\/p>\n<p>It\u2019s possible that our Bible readings have been a tad heavy on the Old Testament lately.<\/p>\n<\/body><\/html>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>I have taken up being sick and angry as a full-time job this week.\u00a0 So this is what you get. \u20131\u2013 We got about as much snow as anyone did the other day, and now we can\u2019t find our garbage cans.\u00a0 Usually my husband shovels, but when his back is out and the rest of [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1533,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[37,92,156],"class_list":["post-2763","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized","tag-bumper-sickers","tag-kids","tag-seven-quick-takes"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v21.1 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>7 Quick Takes: &quot;Things that fell out of my poor suffering brain&quot; 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