Last year, a Special Lifetime Faith & Values Crystal Teddy Bear Award for Dedication to Redeeming the Values of the Mass Media of Entertainment was given to Pat Boone.<\/p>\n
I don\u2019t know if they refer to this as the F&VCTBADRVMME for short, or if they just refer to it as the \u201cCrystal Teddy Bear.\u201d (I tried Googling \u201ccrystal\u201d + \u201cteddy\u201d + \u201cbear,\u201d but all I got was a bunch of stories about Ted Haggard.) The actual award itself is, in fact, a Lucite teddy-bear statuette \u2014 cuddly, but in a hard and brittle kind of way.<\/p>\n
So again, let me just repeat that this was something that really happened<\/a>: Last year, Movieguide presented Pat Boone with a Special Lifetime Faith & Values Crystal Teddy Bear Award for Dedication to Redeeming the Values of the Mass Media of Entertainment.<\/p>\n Movieguide judges films according to a whole alphabet of possible sins. Their glossary<\/a>* includes the usual suspects of sex, violence, nudity and strong language, but also things like:<\/p>\n Ab \u2013 Mild or light anti-biblical, anti-Christian or anti-Jewish worldview or elements For a sense of how Movieguide measures such things, see for example their review of The Walker<\/i><\/a>, the latest film from Calvin College graduate Paul Schrader,** which they condemn for \u201cExcessive Leftist Elements.\u201d What that means, apparently, is that the protagonist is homosexual, prompting a long rant, which is part of Movieguide\u2019s review but has nothing to do with the film:<\/p>\n A self-declared follower of Jesus, or member of a recognized Christian church, who publicly accepts homosexuality, adultery or any other sin \u2014 as many leaders, pundits and celebrities have done \u2014 is making a mockery of his or her faith. Such people are the ultimate hypocrites and false teachers. Their misguided public actions and speeches present a grave public danger to all the world\u2019s children. We must publicly and\/or privately call them to repent and turn to Jesus.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n So, according to the Movieguide folks, I\u2019m not really a follower of Jesus, but rather a \u201cfalse teacher\u201d and a \u201cgrave public danger to all the world\u2019s children.\u201d I suppose I could say something similar about them for their lying to children about evolution and teaching that women\u2019s equality and care for our environment are sins to be warned against. So let\u2019s call that a wash. (Although I would<\/i> love to have a T-shirt that said, \u201cA grave public danger to all the world\u2019s children,\u201d which would also be a great album name.)<\/p>\n As worked-up as Movieguide gets in their review of The Walker,<\/i> it\u2019s nothing compared to their recent PR-blitz attacking The Golden Compass<\/a>,<\/i> a film they condemn as \u201cAbhorrent.\u201d<\/p>\n Here\u2019s a video clip of Movieguide\u2019s Ted Baehr at a screening of The Golden Compass<\/i>:<\/p>\nhttp:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=DhxpohzZHbc&rel=1<\/a>\n Anyway, there\u2019s the background on Movieguide, the gay-hatin\u2019, crystal teddy bear-lovin\u2019 arbiters of taste and morality. All of which is just to preface the press release the group sent out today (via fax, it\u2019s not on their Web site yet) announcing their \u201cMust See Christmas Films for Families.\u201d Here is their list:<\/p>\n 10) The Bells of St. Mary\u2019s<\/i> That\u2019s not all that bad. I didn\u2019t expect<\/i> Movieguide to like many of my favorite holiday classics, such as The Ref<\/a>,<\/i> or Die Hard<\/a>,<\/i> or even Elf<\/a>.<\/i> And while I\u2019m not a fan of Ben-Hur<\/i> (apart from the classic chariot race), at least they didn\u2019t include The Robe<\/a>.<\/i> I\u2019d probably include A Christmas Story<\/a><\/i>*** and A Muppet Christmas Carol<\/a><\/i> on my own Top 10 list. (I love Meet John Doe<\/a>,<\/i> too, but I don\u2019t usually think of it as a Christmas movie.) And I enthusiastically share their pick for No. 1 \u2014 It\u2019s a Wonderful Life<\/a><\/i> isn\u2019t just one of my favorite holiday movies, but one of my favorite movies, period. It gets my vote for the Great American Novel.<\/p>\n The problem here, however, is that It\u2019s a Wonderful Life<\/i> shouldn\u2019t be on Movieguide\u2019s list.<\/p>\n They should hate<\/i> this movie, labeling it \u201cAbhorrent\u201d due to its strident ACapACapACap content.<\/p>\n It might seem strange to label a movie with a banker protagonist as containing \u201cVery strong Anti-capitalism, anti-wealth, politics of envy,\u201d but George Bailey is the wrong kind<\/i> of banker, the wrong kind of capitalist. The central conflict of the movie and, the film insists, the central conflict of American society is between George Bailey and Old Man Potter. And Old Man Potter is, for the Movieguide folks and their ilk, the right kind<\/i> of capitalist.<\/p>\n George Bailey\u2019s sin, and the one thing that separates him from Potter, is that he refuses to maximize profit. He runs the Baily Bros. Building & Loan according to a whole host of values that have nothing to do with his fiduciary responsibility to his shareholders, settling instead for some notion of what he regards as a \u201cfairness,\u201d i.e.<\/i> socialism.<\/p>\n Bailey views himself as some kind of class-warfare champion, self-righteousy trumpeting his superior morality on behalf of the \u201crabble\u201d who, he says, \u201cdo most of the working and paying and living and dying in this community.\u201d Bailey goes further, insisting that the proletariat also possess positive economic rights to things like housing and employment. Pointy-headed ivory-tower intellectual economists may try to claim that this doesn\u2019t make Bailey a communist \u2014 that the Bailey Bros. Building & Loan is actually a model of a humane capitalism that is better able to account for larger social and economic factors than is the predatory brand of corporate capitalism practiced by his rival Potter. But those eggheads are all just envious, anti-wealth commies too. There are no shades of gray here, only shades of pink \u2014 Bailey\u2019s refusal to maximize profit makes him a socialist, a communist, even a Stalinist or a Maoist probably.<\/p>\n George Bailey\u2019s Maoism also illustrates why the politics of envy is anti-family. What kind of father keeps his children in a drafty, dilapidated old house just because he\u2019s too morally smug to accept Potter\u2019s perfectly reasonable offer of a higher salary? A bad father. The kind who poses a danger not only to his own children, but also a grave public danger to all the world\u2019s children.<\/p>\n And if all of that is true for George Bailey, it goes double for Ebenezer Scrooge. So no crystal teddy bears for Jimmy Stewart or<\/i> Michael Caine. <\/p>\n \u2013 \u2013 \u2013 \u2013 \u2013 \u2013 \u2013 \u2013 \u2013 \u2013 \u2013 \u2013<\/p>\n * Bonus extra credit: Apply the ratings of Movieguide\u2019s glossary to Hamlet.<\/i><\/p>\n ** Schrader, who also wrote Taxi Driver<\/a>,<\/i> deals most directly with his personal history as a Calvinist theology student in his classic film Hardcore<\/a>.<\/i> That film \u2014 which is where the above clip is actually from \u2014 includes a scene in which George C. Scott explains the five points of the Calvinist \u201cTULIP<\/a>\u201d to a prostitute. Not to be missed. As for The Walker<\/a>,<\/i> I\u2019ll be sure to see it because, after all, it is the story of an innocent man embroiled in an international scheme, and I love that story.<\/p>\n![\"597\"](\"https:\/\/slacktivist.typepad.com\/slacktivist\/images\/2007\/12\/18\/597.jpg\")
<\/a>Imagine we were assigned as a committee to design an artistic award. Our instructions for this design would be to create something so hideously tasteless and aesthetically maladroit that it would signal to all the world, unambiguously, that neither the presenter nor the recipient should ever be allowed to have anything to do with or say about the arts. After rejecting the rhinestone-encrusted Thomas Kinkade painting in the gold-plated frame as not quite<\/i> ugly enough, someone on the committee suggests a teddy bear statuette. A crystal<\/i> teddy bear statuette. We would all sit silent for a moment, picturing such a thing in our heads. And then we\u2019d all laugh and move on, trying to come up with something a little less over the top.<\/p>\n
AbAb \u2013 Strong anti-biblical, anti-Christian or anti-Jewish worldview or elements
AbAbAb \u2013 Very strong anti-biblical, anti-Christian or anti-Jewish worldview or elements \u2026
ACap \u2013 Anti-capitalism, anti-wealth, politics of envy
AP \u2013 Anti-patriotism or anti-Americanism \u2026
E \u2013 Environmentalism or environmentalist worldview
Ev \u2013 Evolutionary worldview or elements
Fe \u2013 Feminist worldview or elements
FR \u2013 Non-Christian worldview or false religions, such as Mormonism<\/a> or legalism
H \u2013 Humanist worldview or humanism (incl. Marxism, communism, socialism, etc.)
Ho \u2013 Homosexual worldview or homosexuality (incl. sodomy & lesbianism)
I \u2013 Internationalist or globalist worldview or elements \u2026 <\/p><\/blockquote>\n
9) A Christmas Story<\/i>
8) Miracle on 34th Street<\/i> (1947)
7) Home Alone<\/i>
6) Meet John Doe<\/i>
5) Meet Me in St. Louis<\/i>
4) The Muppet Christmas Carol<\/i>
3) The Nativity Story<\/i>
2) Ben-Hur<\/i>
1) It\u2019s a Wonderful Life<\/i><\/p><\/blockquote>\n