{"id":22337,"date":"2014-05-14T16:15:06","date_gmt":"2014-05-14T20:15:06","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/slacktivist\/?p=22337"},"modified":"2014-05-14T16:15:06","modified_gmt":"2014-05-14T20:15:06","slug":"inside-this-chest-beats-a-plastic-heart","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/slacktivist\/2014\/05\/14\/inside-this-chest-beats-a-plastic-heart\/","title":{"rendered":"Inside this chest beats a plastic heart"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<\/head>

\u2022 Sound advice: \u201cDo Not Call 9-1-1 When Subway Puts the Wrong Sauce on Your Flatizza<\/a>.\u201d Also via<\/em> The Consumerist\u2019s Subway beat: \u201cPolice are looking for a man who removed a toilet<\/a> from a West Seattle Subway restaurant Sunday night. \u2026\u201d Yep, he made like Hemingway at Sloppy Joe\u2019s and stole the toilet<\/em>. Stifling urge to make a Taco Bell joke here.<\/p>\n

\u2022 Fox News fabulist Todd Starnes doesn\u2019t have his own direct-mail fundraising organization, so he has to monetize the scary stories he invents the old-fashioned way \u2014 by selling books. Alvin McEwen takes a look at Starnes\u2019 book and isn\u2019t impressed<\/a>. Here\u2019s a choice taste of Starnes\u2019 handiwork:<\/p>\n

I grew up in a much simpler time \u2014 when blackberry was a pie and dirty dancing meant somebody forgot to clean out the barn for the square dance. It was a time when father still knew best \u2014 when the girls were girls and the men were men.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Ignore the flubbed Dirty Dancing<\/em> record (that 27-year old pop-culture reference is to a movie set in the very same \u201csimpler times\u201d for which Starnes is pretending to be nostalgic). That last bit is another piece of evidence that Starnes really is a grifter and not a true believer in the garbage he\u2019s selling.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a>
Those were the days.<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

Yeah, we could analyze the stunted sexist ideology of \u201cgirls\u201d and \u201cmen,\u201d but that would miss the more obvious point: Starnes is quoting the theme song from All in the Family.<\/em> He\u2019s just trolling. That line is a knowing wink at the camera, an acknowledgement that he\u2019s selling the rubes a rewarmed version of a satire<\/em> of their Fox-addled views, and that he\u2019s convinced that they won\u2019t know the difference.<\/p>\n

Starnes is peddling \u201csimpler times\u201d to people he regards as simpletons. It\u2019s a money-making strategy, and as such it will probably \u201cwork.\u201d Starnes\u2019 con game doth profit a man, and it will gain him the world. It may suffer him a loss of something else, but he seems OK with that.<\/p>\n

\u2022 I hope you know that this will go down on your permanent record<\/a>.<\/p>\n

\u2022 We need a Dignitatis Humanae<\/em><\/a> for white evangelicalism. Prior to Vatican II the Roman Catholic church endorsed secular government to ensure religious liberty wherever Catholics were in the minority, but embraced a \u201cSpanish model\u201d of established, official religion wherever they were in the majority.<\/p>\n

Here\u2019s a Christianity Today<\/em> post commending the Indian Christian Secular Party<\/a>, a new party formed and led by Christian Dalits (the designation for those of the \u201cuntouchable\u201d lower caste). White evangelicals in America seem able to recognize that a wall of separation between religion and state is necessary and good for the Christian minority in India. It\u2019d be nice if they recognized the same thing for the Christian majority in Indiana.<\/p>\n

\u2022 In their defense, the Republican Party here in Pennsylvania has talked<\/em> about removing white supremacist Steve Smith from his post on a GOP county committee. They\u2019ve been talking about that ever since he elected himself to the post two years ago by writing in his own name and winning the local vote 1-0. But two years later, there\u2019s still an open, determined white supremacist serving as an officer on a Republican county committee here in Pennsylvania<\/a>.<\/p>\n

\u2022 So, do we think that NBC can be trusted to adapt Hellblazer<\/em> for the small screen<\/a>?<\/p>\nhttps:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=uPE2oBnzROY<\/a>\n

If done well, this could be fun. If done poorly, then at least we can look forward to Sam and Dean making fun of this on Supernatural<\/em>.<\/p>\n<\/body><\/html>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

The Subway police blotter. Fox grifter Todd Starnes winks at the camera. Why we need a Dignitatis Humanae for American evangelicals. Pennsylvania white supremacist celebrates two years as officer of Republican county committee. Can we trust NBC with “Hellblazer”?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":141,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[13,28],"class_list":["post-22337","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized","tag-church-state","tag-religious-right"],"yoast_head":"\nInside this chest beats a plastic heart<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"The Subway police blotter. Fox grifter Todd Starnes winks at the camera. Why we need a Dignitatis Humanae for American evangelicals. Pennsylvania white supremacist celebrates two years as officer of Republican county committee. 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A former managing editor of Prism magazine, Fred worked in the parachurch nonprofit world for a decade and then for a decade in the newspaper biz. He began blogging in 2002. In 2003 he began writing a review of the best-selling Left Behind series. Eight years later he still hasn\u2019t finished reviewing the second book of that series and the experience has left him a broken shell of a man. Fred knows the difference between the possessive \u201cits\u201d and the contraction \u201cit\u2019s,\u201d and he is acutely bothered when others mistakenly confuse the two, yet he himself just kind of instinctively types the apostrophe whether or not it belongs there. Some feel this is his greatest hypocrisy, but those who know him better know better. He\u2019s guilty of much greater hypocrisies. 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A former managing editor of Prism magazine, Fred worked in the parachurch nonprofit world for a decade and then for a decade in the newspaper biz. He began blogging in 2002. In 2003 he began writing a review of the best-selling Left Behind series. Eight years later he still hasn\u2019t finished reviewing the second book of that series and the experience has left him a broken shell of a man. Fred knows the difference between the possessive \u201cits\u201d and the contraction \u201cit\u2019s,\u201d and he is acutely bothered when others mistakenly confuse the two, yet he himself just kind of instinctively types the apostrophe whether or not it belongs there. Some feel this is his greatest hypocrisy, but those who know him better know better. He\u2019s guilty of much greater hypocrisies. Jesus loves Fred far more than Fred loves Jesus, but he at least has the decency to recognize the unfairness of that lopsided relationship and he has long wished that he were better at maybe kind of sort of doing something more to correct that some day. A Baptist, an amateur, a Gen-Xer, a Gemini and a Mets fan, Fred lives in Southeastern Pennsylvania with his wife and two teenage daughters. 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