{"id":27047,"date":"2015-02-26T07:42:14","date_gmt":"2015-02-26T12:42:14","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/admin.patheos.com\/blogs\/slacktivist\/?p=27047"},"modified":"2015-02-25T16:38:22","modified_gmt":"2015-02-25T21:38:22","slug":"celebrate-world-pistachio-day","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/slacktivist\/2015\/02\/26\/celebrate-world-pistachio-day\/","title":{"rendered":"Celebrate World Pistachio Day!"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<\/head>

Today is World Pistachio Day!<\/em><\/a><\/p>\n

(Wait \u2026 is this really a thing? It sounds made up. Let\u2019s check<\/a>. Yep, it\u2019s real. Who knew?)<\/em><\/p>\n

This is, obviously, a very big day for \u201cAmerican Pistachio Growers<\/a>, the trade association representing more than 625 pistachio grower members in California, Arizona and New Mexico.\u201d<\/p>\n

\"PistachioDay\"<\/a>The pistachio growers trade association, of course, wants us all to celebrate World Pistachio Day by buying and eating lots of pistachios.<\/p>\n

This is, on the one hand, an almost clumsily transparent example\u00a0of crass commercialism. But then, on the other hand, it\u2019s also a celebration of pistachios \u2014 which are delicious and nutritious and worth celebrating.<\/p>\n

I mean, think about it \u2014 what\u2019s the worst<\/em> thing about pistachios? It\u2019s those last few unopened nuts in the bottom of the bag, sitting there with their shells tightly clamped shut. You were just going to eat a few of these and save the rest for later, but then you couldn\u2019t stop, somehow, and now you\u2019ve got a pile of empty shells and you still want more, even though you\u2019ve passed the point of Peak Pistachio. You\u2019ve got a nutcracker around someplace in one of those drawers in the kitchen, but you haven\u2019t seen it since last Christmas and you\u2019re not sure if you can find it, or if it would even work since it\u2019s designed for, like, Walnut-sized nuts. And anyway you\u2019re not in<\/em> the kitchen at the moment, so you just decide to try using your teeth. And that hurts<\/em>.<\/p>\n

It hurts, but it works \u2014 sort of. So you separate the\u00a0rock-hard shell fragments in your mouth from the\u00a0tasty morsel of that obstinate final pistachio, savoring it while giving thanks that you didn\u2019t chip a tooth.<\/p>\n

Would you have put yourself through all of that if pistachios weren\u2019t worth celebrating?<\/em><\/p>\n

Anyway, in the spirit of World Pistachio Day, I invite you to mark the occasion with my own clumsily transparent effort of crass commercialism in support of something tasty and nutritious. What goes better with pistachios than your very own eBook copy of The Anti-Christ Handbook?<\/a>\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

Just like a bag of pistachios, this book comes in convenient bite-sized chunks, but you still have the option of devouring the whole thing in one sitting. Yet\u00a0it won\u2019t leave you with a bunch of unopened, uncrackable chapters at the bottom.<\/p>\n

The Anti-Christ Handbook<\/em><\/a> is also far safer for those with nut allergies.<\/p>\n

(Note: Today is also, apparently, \u201cTell a Fairy Tale Day,\u201d which might have been a more apt subject for an awkward attempt to plug my ebook. But I\u2019m not fully convinced this \u201cevent\u201d is more than just\u00a0an Internet rumor. I checked all the national fairy tale trade associations and couldn\u2019t find any press releases mentioning the occasion.)<\/p>\n

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In the spirit of World Pistachio Day, I invite you to mark the occasion with my own clumsily transparent attempt at crass commercialism in support of something tasty and nutritious. What goes better with pistachios than your very own eBook copy of “The Anti-Christ Handbook”? <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":141,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[238],"class_list":["post-27047","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized","tag-left-behind"],"yoast_head":"\nCelebrate World Pistachio Day!<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"In the spirit of World Pistachio Day, I invite you to mark the occasion with my own clumsily transparent attempt at crass commercialism in support of something tasty and nutritious. 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