The problem these days, though, is that the distance between such old-school cranks and actual members of Congress is getting smaller and smaller.<\/p>\n \u2022 Speaking of certifiable cranks, Texas mega-church pastor John Hagee has a new \u201cdocumentary\u201d based on his best-selling book Four Blood Moons<\/em><\/a>. Hagee believes that the current series of lunar eclipses are a fulfillment of \u201cBible prophecy\u201d \u2014 evidence that the Rapture he has been predicting for decades will occur in the Fall of 2015<\/a>. (Lunar eclipses and Jewish holidays both occur around full moons \u2014 coincidence?<\/em> Hagee says no.)<\/p>\n So that\u2019s the Hagee timeline. The Rapture is coming\u00a0this year, marking the beginning of the seven-year Great Tribulation and The End in 2022.<\/p>\n It doesn\u2019t matter if you<\/em> think that\u2019s nutty. The point is that this is what John Hagee<\/em> is preaching and teaching.<\/p>\n Which makes it kind of strange that his son, Matthew Hagee, would say this<\/a>: \u201cIt is impossible for same-sex marriage to do what biblical marriage does: create children. \u2026\u00a0Without the procreation of children, the American society economically, will fail; culturally, will fail. It is not a matter of right or privilege, it\u2019s a matter of survival.\u201d<\/p>\n Set aside the arithmetical absurdity and just consider why someone who believes we\u2019re just months away from the Rapture and seven years from Armageddon should be concerned with the procreation of future generations.<\/p>\n \u2022 Dianna E. Anderson finds an app called \u201cClean Reader,<\/a>\u201d which promises to filter out profanity and other potentially offensive material. She applies it to her own book, Damaged Goods: New Perspectives on Christian Purity<\/em><\/a>. And hilarity ensues. (If, that is, you\u2019ll allow \u201chilarity\u201d to include bitterly mordant observations about how, for example, the Clean Reader translates \u201crape\u201d into \u201cforced love.\u201d)<\/p>\n \u2022 Jonny Scaramanga reports that yet another group of illiterate Christians claim to have found Noah\u2019s Ark<\/a>.<\/p>\n Look, if we\u2019re going to refuse to distinguish any kind of story from any other kind, then there are lots of things we should be looking for before we go looking for Noah\u2019s Ark. My top five:<\/p>\n![\"SiddFinch\"](\"https:\/\/wp-media.patheos.com\/blogs\/sites\/52\/2015\/04\/SiddFinch.jpg\")
<\/a>\u2022 \u201c[It is] not a hate crime [but] an act of love \u2014 and a warning<\/a>.\u201d To be clear, the guy who was just arrested for spraypainting \u201c666\u201d on various Dallas landmarks is a certified crank. He\u2019s a perennial independent candidate for mayor and a regular, long-winded presence at City Council meetings where he rants about gay conspiracies and the JFK assassination.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n\n