{"id":27549,"date":"2015-04-03T07:56:12","date_gmt":"2015-04-03T11:56:12","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/admin.patheos.com\/blogs\/slacktivist\/?p=27549"},"modified":"2015-04-02T19:09:06","modified_gmt":"2015-04-02T23:09:06","slug":"left-behind-classic-fridays-no-27-pagan-babies","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/slacktivist\/2015\/04\/03\/left-behind-classic-fridays-no-27-pagan-babies\/","title":{"rendered":"Left Behind Classic Fridays, No. 27: ‘Pagan Babies’"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<\/head>

Originally posted May 19, 2004.<\/p>\n

\n

\u00a0<\/p>\n

Left Behind,<\/i>\u00a0pp. 46-48<\/b><\/p>\n

Finally, 30 pages after the mass disappearances have occurred, Rayford Steele looks up at an airport television and the reader gets to see some scenes from the worldwide Rapture.<\/p>\n

From around the globe came wailing mothers, stoic families, reports of death and destruction. Dozens of stories included eyewitnesses who had seen loved ones and friends disappear before their eyes.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Okay, it turns out the reader doesn\u2019t actually get to\u00a0see<\/i>\u00a0these scenes. We\u2019re actually just told that\u00a0Rayford<\/i>\u00a0saw them. And we have Jenkins and LaHaye\u2019s assurance that these scenes were gripping and deeply moving.<\/p>\n

If Jerry Jenkins had written the\u00a0Arabian Nights<\/i>\u00a0it would be two pages long. Jenkins\u2019\u00a0Decameron<\/i>\u00a0would be over in ten minutes. His version of\u00a0The Canterbury Tales<\/i>\u00a0might mention that the travelers told each other stories \u2014 he might even tell us that the stories were really very interesting \u2014 but he\u2019d probably assume, as he does in\u00a0Left Behind<\/i>\u00a0that what readers really want to know is the logistics of the pilgrims\u2019 travel arrangements.<\/p>\n

Readers are allowed a glimpse of a few of the \u201cdozens of stories\u201d Rayford sees. Unfortunately, these details aren\u2019t provided to give the readers a sense of what it might feel like to be in his situation, but rather to make some theological and political points.<\/p>\n

Story No. 1:<\/p>\n

Most shocking to Rayford was a woman in labor, about to go into the delivery room, who was suddenly barren. Doctors delivered the placenta. Her husband had caught the disappearance of the fetus on tape. As he videotaped her great belly and sweaty face, he asked questions. How did she feel? \u201cHow do you think I feel, Earl? Turn that thing off.\u201d What was she hoping for? \u201cThat you\u2019ll get close enough for me to slug you.\u201d Did she realize that in a few moments they\u2019d be parents? \u201cIn about a minute, you\u2019re going to be divorced.\u201d<\/p>\n

Then came the screaming and the dropping of the camera, terrified voices, running nurses and the doctor. CNN reran the footage in superslow motion, showing the woman going from very pregnant to nearly flat stomached, as if she had instantaneously delivered. \u201cNow, watch with us again,\u201d the newsman intoned, \u201cand keep your eyes on the left edge of your screen, where a nurse appears to be reading a printout from a fetal heart monitor. There, see?\u201d The action stopped as the pregnant woman\u2019s stomach deflated. \u201cThe nurse\u2019s uniform seems to still be standing as if an invisible person is wearing it. She\u2019s gone. Half a second later, watch.\u201d The tape moved ahead and stopped. \u201cThe uniform, stockings and all, are in a pile atop her shoes.\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

The bit of dialogue with \u201cEarl\u201d and his wife is pure sitcom cliche (does anybody in real life say \u201cslug\u201d?). But I wish they had told us more about the CNN newsman. Aaron Brown is the only CNN anchor who might be described as \u201cintoning,\u201d but we probably shouldn\u2019t read to much into the implication here that the affable Mr. Brown has been left behind. We can be sure, however, that the newsman in question is not Wolf Blitzer. The perpetually hyperventilating Blitzer\u00a0never<\/i>\u00a0intones \u2014 he shouts, excitedly introducing another banal piece on the change of venue in some celebrity trial as though he were covering the attack on Pearl Harbor live. I can\u2019t say whether Blitzer would qualify to be taken in L&J\u2019s fictional Rapture, but if he weren\u2019t, a story this big would\u2019ve made his head explode.<\/p>\n

\"PaganBabies\"<\/a>But of course the point of this little anecdote is not about CNN or about Earl\u2019s wife: it\u2019s a discourse on the theological and political state of the fetus. L&J\u2019s Rapture includes the idea of an \u201cage of accountability.\u201d They believe that in heaven, unlike in Texas and Florida, young children belong to a different moral category than adults. They are, if not exactly\u00a0innocents,<\/i>\u00a0not yet fully accountable and exempt from divine wrath.<\/p>\n

The idea of an \u201cage of accountability,\u201d or, in the Catholic phrase, \u201cage of reason<\/a>,\u201d is appealing in that it helps avoid the image of a cruel deity condemning innocent little babies to Hell. But that appeal is only necessary if you begin with a theology that suspects God is the sort of God who might otherwise condemn little pagan babies to Hell.<\/p>\n

The thinnest ice on which a theologian can stand concerns questions about, \u201cIf\u00a0you<\/i>\u00a0were God, who would\u00a0you<\/i>\u00a0send to Hell?\u201d The answer, of course, is, \u201cI\u2019m\u00a0not<\/i>\u00a0God, so what\u2019re you asking\u00a0me<\/i>\u00a0for?\u201d Theologians are on much more solid ground considering questions about the character of God. (As a Christian, I believe that our best indicator of the character of God comes from the example of Jesus Christ, and I have a rather hard time picturing Jesus roasting pagan babies on a spit. But again, this is a belief based on the nature of God, not on the forensic calculus of an abstract age of accountability. I don\u2019t know if the concept is a wrong answer, but I\u2019m pretty sure it\u2019s an answer to the wrong question.)<\/p>\n

The bit about the nurse is the most vivid, detailed account so far in the story about the disappearances. (It may say something about Jenkins\u2019 as a storyteller that the only visual image we\u2019ve been given so far is from a TV screen.) The effect of the scene is muted, however, by L&J\u2019s refusal to let us know how watching this made Rayford feel. He already suspects that his wife, Irene, is among the disappeared. Now he\u2019s finally seen just what this would mean. I\u2019d have been satisfied with something hackneyed \u2014 \u201cthe hairs on the back of his neck stood up\u201d or \u201che felt a sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach\u201d \u2014 but we get nothing. Rayford makes no connection. He has no response.<\/p>\n

Next up, a brief discourse on the disposition of the bodily remains of believers who died before the Rapture:<\/p>\n

A funeral home in Australia reported that nearly every mourner disappeared from one memorial service, including the corpse, while at another service at the same time, only a few disappeared and the corpse remained. Morgues also reported corpse disappearances. At a burial, three of six pallbearers stumbled and dropped a casket when the other three disappeared. When they picked up the casket, it too was empty.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

I knew a fundamentalist preacher \u2014 a blackhearted old man who strained\u00a0his daughters and granddaughter to the breaking point \u2014 who was a devotee of the Rapture mania of LaHaye and of Jack Van Impe. As he grew older, he became obsessed with what would happen to his body if he died before the Rapture. He was terrified that his daughters would have him cremated, which he believed would mean his body could not then be raptured like the corpses in\u00a0Left Behind.<\/i>\u00a0He would plead with them, often tearfully, to promise that this would not happen. All this based on a warped reading of 1 Thessalonians 5 \u2014 a passage in which Paul is trying to\u00a0comfort<\/i>\u00a0believers about the death of their loved ones.<\/p>\n

That same warped reading is the premise for this book.<\/p>\n<\/body><\/html>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

As a Christian, I believe that our best indicator of the character of God comes from the example of Jesus Christ, and I have a rather hard time picturing Jesus roasting pagan babies on a spit. But again, this is a belief based on the nature of God, not on the forensic calculus of an abstract age of accountability. I don’t know if the concept is a wrong answer, but I’m pretty sure it’s an answer to the wrong question.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":141,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[238],"class_list":["post-27549","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized","tag-left-behind"],"yoast_head":"\nLeft Behind Classic Fridays, No. 27: 'Pagan Babies'<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"As a Christian, I believe that our best indicator of the character of God comes from the example of Jesus Christ, and I have a rather hard time picturing Jesus roasting pagan babies on a spit. But again, this is a belief based on the nature of God, not on the forensic calculus of an abstract age of accountability. 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A former managing editor of Prism magazine, Fred worked in the parachurch nonprofit world for a decade and then for a decade in the newspaper biz. He began blogging in 2002. In 2003 he began writing a review of the best-selling Left Behind series. Eight years later he still hasn\u2019t finished reviewing the second book of that series and the experience has left him a broken shell of a man. Fred knows the difference between the possessive \u201cits\u201d and the contraction \u201cit\u2019s,\u201d and he is acutely bothered when others mistakenly confuse the two, yet he himself just kind of instinctively types the apostrophe whether or not it belongs there. Some feel this is his greatest hypocrisy, but those who know him better know better. He\u2019s guilty of much greater hypocrisies. Jesus loves Fred far more than Fred loves Jesus, but he at least has the decency to recognize the unfairness of that lopsided relationship and he has long wished that he were better at maybe kind of sort of doing something more to correct that some day. A Baptist, an amateur, a Gen-Xer, a Gemini and a Mets fan, Fred lives in Southeastern Pennsylvania with his wife and two teenage daughters. You can reach him via email at slacktivist at hotmail dot com.","url":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/slacktivist\/author\/fredclark1\/"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/slacktivist\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/27549","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/slacktivist\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/slacktivist\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/slacktivist\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/141"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/slacktivist\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=27549"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/slacktivist\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/27549\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/slacktivist\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=27549"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/slacktivist\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=27549"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/slacktivist\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=27549"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}