{"id":68367,"date":"2024-09-27T16:02:57","date_gmt":"2024-09-27T20:02:57","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/slacktivist\/?p=68367"},"modified":"2024-09-27T16:02:57","modified_gmt":"2024-09-27T20:02:57","slug":"lbcf-the-good-wife","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/slacktivist\/2024\/09\/27\/lbcf-the-good-wife\/","title":{"rendered":"LBCF: The Good Wife"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<\/head>

(Originally posted May, 2005.)<\/em><\/p>\n

Left Behind,<\/i>\u00a0pp. 89-96<\/b><\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a>Toward the end of Buck\u2019s long reverie in the airport men\u2019s room stall, he writes up a to-do list:<\/p>\n

Despite the incredible capablilities of his laptop, there was still no substitute for the pocket notebook. Buck scribbled a list of things to do before setting off again:<\/p>\n

Call Ken Ritz, charter pilot
\nCall Dad and Jeff
\nCall Hattie Durham with news of family
\nCall Lucinda Washington about local hotel
\nCall Dick Burton.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

As always, for Buck, \u201cthings to do\u201d entails a list of phone calls. Thus our next encounter with Buck involves five pages of phone calls \u2014 we were given fair warning.<\/p>\n

(Jenkins seems to be employing a narrative device adapted from an Intro to Preaching class. Young preachers are taught to \u201cTell \u2019em what you\u2019re going to tell \u2019em. Tell \u2019em. Then tell \u2019em what you told \u2019em.\u201d This repetition can help a congregation remember the main point of your sermon, but in a novel it makes for stupefyingly dull storytelling.)<\/p>\n

Buck doesn\u2019t actually get through in his attempt to \u201cCall Dad and Jeff.\u201d But, this being \u201cLeft Behind: Quest for a Dial Tone\u201d (as Sophist pegged it in comments earlier), we get a paragraph-long description of the unsuccessful phone call:<\/p>\n

The line was busy, but it was not the same kind of tone that tells you the lines are down or that the whole system is kaput. Neither was it that irritating recording he\u2019d grown so used to. He knew it would only be a matter of time before he could get through.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

The first message on Buck\u2019s answering machine is from Marge Potter, who tells him that his father and brother are OK, but his brother\u2019s wife and kids are missing.<\/p>\n

Marge, you\u2019ll recall, is the \u201cmatronly\u201d secretary of Buck\u2019s boss at \u201cGlobal Weekly.\u201d Nearly a full day has passed since the mass disappearances whisked away every single child on the planet, but this fact has not yet registered with Marge or Buck or any of the other crack journalists at \u201cGW.\u201d<\/p>\n

Hattie<\/i>\u00a0figured this out hours ago, and she even pointed it out to Buck, but it seems to have slipped his mind. This is understandable. Buck, after all, is a Very Important Journalist and his top priority just now has to be to get to New York to get started on a story about a conference of Jewish nationalists. Clearly, that\u2019s a bigger priority for GW\u2019s readers than some little item from the now-superfluous \u201cparenting\u201d pages.<\/p>\n

Buck and the rest of the folks at GW are the most comically oblivious journalists ever portrayed in fiction.<\/p>\n

Marge\u2019s message sparks a mini-flashback in which we get a bit of background on Buck\u2019s brother\u2019s marriage:<\/p>\n

Jeff must be beside himself not knowing about his wife, Sharon, and the kids. They\u2019d had their differences and had even been separated before the children came along, but for several years the marriage had been better. Jeff\u2019s wife had proven forgiving and conciliatory. Jeff himself had admitted he was puzzled that she should take him back. \u201cCall me undeserving, but grateful,\u201d he once told Buck.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

So here\u2019s what we know about Mr. and Mrs. Williams:<\/p>\n

1. Sharon was a born-again, evangelical Christian.<\/p>\n

2. Jeff was not.<\/p>\n

3. Jeff did something awful, something which even he considers unforgivable.<\/p>\n

4. Sharon, the model of the good, godly wife, forgave Jeff and welcomed him back.<\/p>\n

We aren\u2019t told the specifics of the awful thing or things that Jeff did. He may have cheated. Or drank. Or maybe he hit her. Perhaps all three. For LaHaye and Jenkins, it really doesn\u2019t matter\u00a0what<\/i>\u00a0he did, all that matters is Sharon\u2019s duty as a good, godly wife to forgive him and preserve their marriage no matter what.<\/p>\n

That\u2019s the point of this little vignette and it\u2019s hardly unique to L&J. This message \u2014 the Gospel According to Tammy Wynette \u2014 is taught in evangelical congregations across the country. It\u2019s a pernicious, dangerous and potentially even deadly little lesson about wifely duty.<\/p>\n

As I write this, some poor Christian woman is talking to her pastor or her priest. When she walked into his office she was scared \u2014 it\u2019s been getting worse and she feels she and her children are in real danger.<\/p>\n

\u201cBe like Sharon,\u201d the reverend man of the cloth is telling her. \u201cGod hates divorce.\u201d He will tell her that her desire to leave her abusive husband is an affront to \u201cthe sanctity of marriage.\u201d He will not tell her, because it will not occur to him, that her husband\u2019s violence constitutes a far greater violation of that sacred union.<\/p>\n

She will leave the office still afraid, but her fear will be mixed with guilt and shame.<\/p>\n

L&J didn\u2019t invent this \u2014 it\u2019s just a part of the culture of their target audience, such a large part that I\u2019m certain I\u2019m not just reading too much into this little tangent about Jeff and Sharon. That evangelical subculture, like any culture, has positive traits as well as negative ones. Here \u2014 as ever throughout the World\u2019s Worst Books \u2014 L&J reinforce the bad while ignoring the good.<\/p>\n

Have I mentioned that I think these books are evil?<\/p>\n<\/body><\/html>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Have I mentioned that I think these books are evil?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":141,"featured_media":67431,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-68367","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"yoast_head":"\nLBCF: The Good Wife<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Have I mentioned that I think these books are evil?\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/slacktivist\/2024\/09\/27\/lbcf-the-good-wife\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"LBCF: The Good Wife\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Have I mentioned that I think these books are evil?\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/slacktivist\/2024\/09\/27\/lbcf-the-good-wife\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"slacktivist\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2024-09-27T20:02:57+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"https:\/\/wp-media.patheos.com\/blogs\/sites\/52\/2024\/06\/WWB-1.jpeg\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:width\" content=\"258\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:height\" content=\"385\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:type\" content=\"image\/jpeg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Fred Clark\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"Fred Clark\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"4 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\/\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/slacktivist\/2024\/09\/27\/lbcf-the-good-wife\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/slacktivist\/2024\/09\/27\/lbcf-the-good-wife\/\",\"name\":\"LBCF: The Good Wife\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/slacktivist\/#website\"},\"datePublished\":\"2024-09-27T20:02:57+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2024-09-27T20:02:57+00:00\",\"author\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/slacktivist\/#\/schema\/person\/32666545e535b697afb93d9848dcfc47\"},\"description\":\"Have I mentioned that I think these books are evil?\",\"breadcrumb\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/slacktivist\/2024\/09\/27\/lbcf-the-good-wife\/#breadcrumb\"},\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"ReadAction\",\"target\":[\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/slacktivist\/2024\/09\/27\/lbcf-the-good-wife\/\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"BreadcrumbList\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/slacktivist\/2024\/09\/27\/lbcf-the-good-wife\/#breadcrumb\",\"itemListElement\":[{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":1,\"name\":\"Home\",\"item\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/slacktivist\/\"},{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":2,\"name\":\"LBCF: The Good Wife\"}]},{\"@type\":\"WebSite\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/slacktivist\/#website\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/slacktivist\/\",\"name\":\"slacktivist\",\"description\":\""Test everything; hold fast to what is good."\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"SearchAction\",\"target\":{\"@type\":\"EntryPoint\",\"urlTemplate\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/slacktivist\/?s={search_term_string}\"},\"query-input\":\"required name=search_term_string\"}],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\"},{\"@type\":\"Person\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/slacktivist\/#\/schema\/person\/32666545e535b697afb93d9848dcfc47\",\"name\":\"Fred Clark\",\"image\":{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/slacktivist\/#\/schema\/person\/image\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/7083ccd514d4fb8d5043041756d766a0?s=96&d=identicon&r=pg\",\"contentUrl\":\"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/7083ccd514d4fb8d5043041756d766a0?s=96&d=identicon&r=pg\",\"caption\":\"Fred Clark\"},\"description\":\"Fred Clark is a graduate of Eastern Baptist Theological Seminary (now called Palmer Seminary), of Eastern College (now called Eastern University) and of the fundamentalist Timothy Christian High School (still fundamentalist and still called Timothy Christian High School, but not really thrilled to have a snarky, liberal, tree-hugging, pro-choice, pro-GLBT, peacenik, commie, evolutionist as such a vocal alumnus). A former managing editor of Prism magazine, Fred worked in the parachurch nonprofit world for a decade and then for a decade in the newspaper biz. He began blogging in 2002. In 2003 he began writing a review of the best-selling Left Behind series. Eight years later he still hasn\u2019t finished reviewing the second book of that series and the experience has left him a broken shell of a man. Fred knows the difference between the possessive \u201cits\u201d and the contraction \u201cit\u2019s,\u201d and he is acutely bothered when others mistakenly confuse the two, yet he himself just kind of instinctively types the apostrophe whether or not it belongs there. Some feel this is his greatest hypocrisy, but those who know him better know better. He\u2019s guilty of much greater hypocrisies. Jesus loves Fred far more than Fred loves Jesus, but he at least has the decency to recognize the unfairness of that lopsided relationship and he has long wished that he were better at maybe kind of sort of doing something more to correct that some day. A Baptist, an amateur, a Gen-Xer, a Gemini and a Mets fan, Fred lives in Southeastern Pennsylvania with his wife and two teenage daughters. You can reach him via email at slacktivist at hotmail dot com.\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/slacktivist\/author\/fredclark1\/\"}]}<\/script>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"LBCF: The Good Wife","description":"Have I mentioned that I think these books are evil?","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/slacktivist\/2024\/09\/27\/lbcf-the-good-wife\/","og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"LBCF: The Good Wife","og_description":"Have I mentioned that I think these books are evil?","og_url":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/slacktivist\/2024\/09\/27\/lbcf-the-good-wife\/","og_site_name":"slacktivist","article_published_time":"2024-09-27T20:02:57+00:00","og_image":[{"width":258,"height":385,"url":"https:\/\/wp-media.patheos.com\/blogs\/sites\/52\/2024\/06\/WWB-1.jpeg","type":"image\/jpeg"}],"author":"Fred Clark","twitter_card":"summary_large_image","twitter_misc":{"Written by":"Fred Clark","Est. reading time":"4 minutes"},"schema":{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org","@graph":[{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/slacktivist\/2024\/09\/27\/lbcf-the-good-wife\/","url":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/slacktivist\/2024\/09\/27\/lbcf-the-good-wife\/","name":"LBCF: The Good Wife","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/slacktivist\/#website"},"datePublished":"2024-09-27T20:02:57+00:00","dateModified":"2024-09-27T20:02:57+00:00","author":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/slacktivist\/#\/schema\/person\/32666545e535b697afb93d9848dcfc47"},"description":"Have I mentioned that I think these books are evil?","breadcrumb":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/slacktivist\/2024\/09\/27\/lbcf-the-good-wife\/#breadcrumb"},"inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"ReadAction","target":["https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/slacktivist\/2024\/09\/27\/lbcf-the-good-wife\/"]}]},{"@type":"BreadcrumbList","@id":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/slacktivist\/2024\/09\/27\/lbcf-the-good-wife\/#breadcrumb","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"name":"Home","item":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/slacktivist\/"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"name":"LBCF: The Good Wife"}]},{"@type":"WebSite","@id":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/slacktivist\/#website","url":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/slacktivist\/","name":"slacktivist","description":""Test everything; hold fast to what is good."","potentialAction":[{"@type":"SearchAction","target":{"@type":"EntryPoint","urlTemplate":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/slacktivist\/?s={search_term_string}"},"query-input":"required name=search_term_string"}],"inLanguage":"en-US"},{"@type":"Person","@id":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/slacktivist\/#\/schema\/person\/32666545e535b697afb93d9848dcfc47","name":"Fred Clark","image":{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/slacktivist\/#\/schema\/person\/image\/","url":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/7083ccd514d4fb8d5043041756d766a0?s=96&d=identicon&r=pg","contentUrl":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/7083ccd514d4fb8d5043041756d766a0?s=96&d=identicon&r=pg","caption":"Fred Clark"},"description":"Fred Clark is a graduate of Eastern Baptist Theological Seminary (now called Palmer Seminary), of Eastern College (now called Eastern University) and of the fundamentalist Timothy Christian High School (still fundamentalist and still called Timothy Christian High School, but not really thrilled to have a snarky, liberal, tree-hugging, pro-choice, pro-GLBT, peacenik, commie, evolutionist as such a vocal alumnus). A former managing editor of Prism magazine, Fred worked in the parachurch nonprofit world for a decade and then for a decade in the newspaper biz. He began blogging in 2002. In 2003 he began writing a review of the best-selling Left Behind series. Eight years later he still hasn\u2019t finished reviewing the second book of that series and the experience has left him a broken shell of a man. Fred knows the difference between the possessive \u201cits\u201d and the contraction \u201cit\u2019s,\u201d and he is acutely bothered when others mistakenly confuse the two, yet he himself just kind of instinctively types the apostrophe whether or not it belongs there. Some feel this is his greatest hypocrisy, but those who know him better know better. He\u2019s guilty of much greater hypocrisies. Jesus loves Fred far more than Fred loves Jesus, but he at least has the decency to recognize the unfairness of that lopsided relationship and he has long wished that he were better at maybe kind of sort of doing something more to correct that some day. A Baptist, an amateur, a Gen-Xer, a Gemini and a Mets fan, Fred lives in Southeastern Pennsylvania with his wife and two teenage daughters. You can reach him via email at slacktivist at hotmail dot com.","url":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/slacktivist\/author\/fredclark1\/"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/slacktivist\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/68367","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/slacktivist\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/slacktivist\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/slacktivist\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/141"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/slacktivist\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=68367"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/slacktivist\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/68367\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/slacktivist\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/67431"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/slacktivist\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=68367"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/slacktivist\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=68367"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/slacktivist\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=68367"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}