Pastor Robert Jeffress, who preached at Trump\u2019s 2017 inauguration church service, told viewers on Fox News\u2019 \u201cFox & Friends,\u201d \u201cGod is not against walls, walls are not \u2018un-Christian,\u2019 the Bible says even heaven is going to have a wall around it.\u201d The Conservative Political Action Conference\u00a0held a panel in 2017\u00a0titled \u201cIf Heaven Has a Gate, A Wall, and Extreme Vetting, Why Can\u2019t America?\u201d There are even bumper stickers that say, \u201cHeaven Has A Wall and Strict Immigration Policy \/ Hell Has Open Borders.\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n
This stuff is, frankly, dumb. Nearly illiterate.<\/p>\n
This is a stock image in more ways than one. It\u2019s titled \u201cThe Golden Pearly Gates of Heaven,\u201d and everything about that is wrong. The pearly gates are not golden. Nor are they in Heaven. And \u2014 above all \u2014 they are never, ever closed.<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n \u201cHell Has Open Borders\u201d? The extrabiblical construct of \u201cHell\u201d these folks believe in is blasphemous folklore, but by their own lights, \u201cHell\u201d isn\u2019t considered a place anyone is free to leave at any time. This is the one thing they claim not to believe about \u201cHell\u201d \u2014 that it has been \u201charrowed,\u201d it\u2019s walls and gates destroyed,<\/p>\n
And as for \u201cHeaven Has a Gate [and] a Wall,\u201d well, yes, the vision of the New Jerusalem in Revelation does include a wall and a gate \u2014 twelve<\/em> gates, actually. And here is what it says about that<\/a>:<\/p>\n
On no day will its gates ever be shut, for there will be no night there. The glory and honor of the nations will be brought into it.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n
Revelation is also a book that offers visions of Heaven that includes: \u201cA great multitude that no one could count, from every nation, tribe, people and language, standing before the throne and before the Lamb.\u201d If that\u2019s<\/em> the book you\u2019re turning to for \u201cbiblical\u201d support for your violation of the biblical commandment to welcome and embrace the foreigner, stranger, alien, and immigrant, then either you haven\u2019t actually read the book or you cannot actually read<\/em>.<\/p>\n
Also: you\u2019re just being a jerk. Because you cannot be anti-immigrant or anti-foreigner without being a jerk. Don\u2019t be a jerk. (This is also an oft-repeated divine commandment.)<\/p>\n
See earlier: \u201cThe Pearly Gates Are Never, Ever Closed<\/a>.\u201d That ends with this:<\/p>\n
Revelation 21 tells us that the Pearly Gates are never closed and we stubbornly insist on imagining that they are never open. That doesn\u2019t tell us any more about what it is that John was trying to say, but it tells us a lot about what it is we wanted to hear.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n
\u2022 This is a darkly hilarious story from MAGA-world: \u201cGOP Harasses Nuns In Hunt For THE FRAUDS<\/a>.\u201d<\/p>\n
Trump is probably going to lose Pennsylvania. This is probably because he\u2019s not really even trying to win Pennsylvania. His strategy here is just to spew enough nonsense that the result can be \u201cdisputed\u201d enough to let Scott Perry and Doug Mastriano find a way to get John Roberts to just award the commonwealth\u2019s electoral votes to their preferred candidate.<\/p>\n
In service of that, they\u2019ve got people like Cliff Maloney investigating alleged voting fraud by pointing out that a single building in Erie, Pa., is listed as the address for 53 women voters. That seemed suspicious to Cliff. Women, after all, cannot be trusted to vote in the way that Cliff thinks they should.<\/p>\n
Turns out the address is home to the Benedictine Sisters of Erie:<\/p>\n
When it was pointed out to him that convents tend to have multiple individuals residing at the same address, he insisted that\u00a0no, it was the children who are confused.<\/p>\n
\u201cNow the commies are coming in claiming that \u2018nuns live there\u2019 or \u2018you idiot just google it\u2019 WRONG,\u201d he\u00a0huffed. \u201cOur team leader spoke to the one person there and they claimed \u2018NO ONE LIVES HERE.\u2019\u201d<\/p>\n
The Benedictine Sisters of Erie, who do indeed have a\u00a0robust online presence,\u00a0responded\u00a0that they \u201ctake no issue with knocking on doors to increase citizen participation in elections\u201d but, they do object to \u201cclaiming false information as true in an effort to discredit differing views or affiliations.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWe want to call Cliff Maloney to account for his blatantly false post that accuses our sisters of fraud. We do live at Mount Saint Benedict Monastery and a simple web search would alert him to our active presence in a number of ministries in Erie,\u201d Sister Stephanie Schmidt, prioress, said in a statement published online.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n
Seems conclusive, but Maloney isn\u2019t giving up. \u201cwe\u2019ve got our team continuing to analyze the situation,\u201d he says. They\u2019re women after all. They\u2019re obviously up to something<\/em>.<\/p>\n
\u2022 In other news from here in the Keystone State: \u201cAppalachia\u2019s Ugliest Cryptid Drowns In Its Own Tears<\/a>.\u201d I\u2019d never heard of a \u201csquonk\u201d before. Guess it\u2019s a western<\/em> Pennsylvania thing.<\/p>\n
\u2022 The title for this post comes from Regina Spektor\u2019s \u201cOn the Radio<\/a>,\u201d which I\u2019ve had in my head ever since Trump\u2019s weird Pennsylvania \u201cTown Hall,\u201d where instead of answering questions he just stood and waved his hands while playing \u201cAve Maria\u201d and all nine minutes of \u201cNovember Rain,\u201d the ultimate radio-DJ-has-to-pee song.<\/p>\n
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