www.gracegrowedify.com<\/a>. \u201cWe want them succeed and develop solid connections with their peers. It\u2019s almost heart wrenching when that doesn\u2019t work out.\u201d<\/p>\nHere are five tips on how parents can help our kids develop healthy friendships.<\/p>\n
Through modeling.<\/strong> Some kids make friends very easily, while others struggle with finding those social connections with their peers. Messick recommended modeling how to make and keep friends for our kids. \u201cWhen they see us resolving conflict well within our own friend circle that can help them see how to parallel that behavior with their own friends,\u201d she said.<\/p>\nThrough practice.<\/strong> The old adage, \u201cTo have friends you must be a friend\u201d still rings true today. But sometimes parents struggle with how to help our kids live this motto. \u201cWhenever we go to any event that requires social interaction, I try to model that for my children,\u201d Messick said. \u201cI want them to see me going up and striking up conversations with others and making it look easy because I don\u2019t want them to see my social anxiety about that or apprehension about doing that.\u201d<\/p>\nThrough perseverance.<\/strong> It takes time to nurture relationships, and we sometimes get impatient when we don\u2019t immediately click with someone. \u201cI continue to encourage them to keep plugging back in because with friendships, we don\u2019t always walk away with a lifelong friend after one meeting,\u201d Messick said.<\/p>\nThrough self-awareness.<\/strong> Children need to recognize their own role in making friendships work. \u201cI often help my kids become more self-aware of their own actions, such as thinking about whether they hurt someone else\u2019s feelings or contributed to the spat,\u201d she said. Messick also pointed out that asking kids what they could have done differently really helps them grow as a friend.<\/p>\nThrough finding common ground.<\/strong> Kids, like adults, need encouragement to make friends. \u201cSince we homeschool, we have to really focus on getting out there a little bit more and putting forth a little bit more effort to finding peers and connections,\u201d Messick related. \u201cBut we also talk about how we don\u2019t always hit it off with everyone on the first meeting, and how we have to foster those relationships along.\u201d She emphasized how important giving kids conversation starter questions tailored to help children initiate dialogue and find common ground.<\/p>\nAnd when your kids do make friends, it\u2019s equally important to have an open door policy with those friends. Welcome them into your home. Spend a little time talking with them. Listen when your kids speak about their friends.<\/p>\n
My children often have their friends over to our house\u2014they eat our food, play with our toys, make more noise, but I also get to see how my tweens and teens interact with others, get insights into their life outside our home, and perhaps, provide the only glimpse of Christ these kids will ever see.<\/p>\n
To hear more helping kids find and keep friends from Courtney Messick, listen to \u201cNavigating Our Children\u2019s Friendships<\/a>\u201d on the \u201cYou\u2019ve Got This\u201d podcast.<\/p>\n<\/body><\/html>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"The following is an excerpt from my interview with Courtney Messick on my podcast, \u201cYou\u2019ve Got This.\u201d When my younger daughter was in second or third grade, she went through a rough patch with a close friend\u2014it ended up being so rough, that I separated the girls for a month. While that has since sorted […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3137,"featured_media":1356,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[5],"tags":[348,226,96,50,20,345],"class_list":["post-1350","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-interview","tag-friends","tag-making-friends","tag-mothering-motherhood","tag-raising-kids","tag-sarah-hamaker","tag-youve-got-this"],"yoast_head":"\n
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