{"id":1196,"date":"2013-03-13T10:22:06","date_gmt":"2013-03-13T16:22:06","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/soulwod\/?p=1196"},"modified":"2013-03-13T10:22:06","modified_gmt":"2013-03-13T16:22:06","slug":"gluttony-my-mix-of-laziness-and-ambition","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/soulwod\/2013\/03\/gluttony-my-mix-of-laziness-and-ambition\/","title":{"rendered":"Gluttony: My Mix of Laziness and Ambition"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<\/head>

\"\"<\/a>I\u2019ve been realizing that I\u2019m a glutton.\u00a0 At least that\u2019s the name for it that my Spiritual Director and I came to recently as I described how my ambitions toward discipline and self-control fall short, how I can\u2019t let my wife buy graham crackers because some dark night I\u2019ll eat them all.\u00a0 I\u2019m a hungry person whatever it is.\u00a0 I am someone who wants more\u2014more time, more books, more talent, more speed.\u00a0 But when the time comes, when I get the books I want, when I have a chance to exercise my talent, I wait, I surf, I can\u2019t get myself out the door.\u00a0 My ambition to lose ten pounds fades at the offer of cheese dip and chips.\u00a0 My hope to read every evening gives way to a dumb sitcom.<\/p>\n

This reality was further named, when I found a prayer card with one of my favorite ancient prayers on it, the Prayer of Saint Ephrem:<\/p>\n

O Lord and Master of my life take from me the spirit of laziness, meddling, ambition and vain talk.\u00a0 But give me a spirit of prudence, humility, patience and love.\u00a0 Yes Lord and King, grant me to see my own sins and faults and not judge my brother.\u00a0 For You are Blessed, forever and ever. Amen.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

I once tried to memorize this prayer and going over its lines I always found the contrasts odd\u2014take from me this spirit of laziness and<\/em> ambition?\u00a0 It would seem that if you struggled with laziness you wouldn\u2019t also struggle with ambition.\u00a0 But reflecting on my own life this names exactly my \u201cspirit.\u201d\u00a0 I am both overly eager to achieve and too easily dissuaded from doing what I need to achieve my goal\u2014gluttony is this combination of ambition and laziness.<\/p>\n

I have seen this in particular in my training for triathlons which more than a metaphor for my spiritual life reflects it.\u00a0 I have read a lot about triathlon training over the last few years and I know enough to know what I need to do to get in shape for race day.\u00a0 That means that over the last few months I\u2019ve bounced around in my training, trying out different patterns of training, mixing and matching different workouts.\u00a0 Rather than simply outlining a training plan and sticking to it, I keep tinkering with my plan.\u00a0 That\u2019s part of the problem with being self-coached.<\/p>\n

Frustrated with my lack of progress and with no time to spare toward getting fit for the first triathlon this season, I\u2019ve finally given up and decided to follow a plan out of a book by an author who I trust.\u00a0 I\u2019ve had to adapt the plan a bit to fit in some of my non-triathlon training, but essentially I\u2019m following a series of workouts that someone else put down for me.\u00a0 If it says run three minutes hard and then rest ninety seconds, I don\u2019t rest one hundred\u2014I stick to the workouts as laid out.<\/p>\n

When talking with my spiritual director he told me to pay attention to the subjective and objective elements of my life in trying to get a hold of my gluttony.\u00a0 The subjective elements are those things that have to do with my will\u2014the things I make a decision around.\u00a0 Do I do this workout or not, do I eat those graham crackers or not, do I feel like praying now?\u00a0 The objective elements are those things like a training plan or a prayer book.\u00a0 They provide a structure to which I can choose to submit and they offer a reward for that submission.\u00a0 I do the workout even if I don\u2019t feel like it and I get fitter.\u00a0 I pray the prayer even if I feel no devotion and I\u2019ve just submitted myself again to God.\u00a0 Of course we need the subjective, we need days when we want to train and we need times when we feel devotion to God, but we can\u2019t depend on those, we can\u2019t let those guide us.<\/p>\n

I talked recently with a professional triathlon coach.\u00a0 He told me that the best athletes, the most seasoned professionals are those who follow the plan.\u00a0 At training camps he\u2019ll take a group out for a training ride and tell them to go easy.\u00a0 The young pros have a tendency to try to fight for the front of the group, especially climbing a hill, to show how fast and strong they are.\u00a0 The seasoned pros, those who have many wins under their belt sit at the back\u2014easy means easy.\u00a0 Good athletes know that they should follow the paces their coach gives them.\u00a0 Every workout is not a time to show how fast you can go\u2014sometimes athletes need to go slow to build endurance before they can go fast. \u201cTake from me this spirit of\u2026ambition.\u201d<\/p>\n

Our spiritual life is no different.\u00a0 It\u2019s not about spiritual heroics or spiritual laziness\u2014it is the proficient, day after day work of living out the Christian life.\u00a0 We don\u2019t want to be spiritually lazy, neglecting to read the scriptures, to participate in the life of the church, to pray and fast, but neither do we want to be spiritual show offs, people who are competitive in our ministries, haughty in our devotion (do you know how long I\u2019m fasting, do you know how much I pray).\u00a0 The way through is right there in Saint Ephrem\u2019s prayer\u2014we exchange the spirit of laziness, meddling, ambition and vain talk for the spirit of prudence, humility, patience and love.\u00a0 Keep to your training plan, follow the discipline of a prayer book and rule of life, and just do it.<\/p>\n<\/body><\/html>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I\u2019ve been realizing that I\u2019m a glutton.\u00a0 At least that\u2019s the name for it that my Spiritual Director and I came to recently as I described how my ambitions toward discipline and self-control fall short, how I can\u2019t let my wife buy graham crackers because some dark night I\u2019ll eat them all.\u00a0 I\u2019m a hungry […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1112,"featured_media":1197,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[263,265,266,264],"class_list":["post-1196","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-uncategorized","tag-ambition","tag-gluttony","tag-laziness","tag-saint-ephrem"],"yoast_head":"\nGluttony: My Mix of Laziness and Ambition<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"I\u2019ve been realizing that I\u2019m a glutton.\u00a0 At least that\u2019s the name for it that my Spiritual Director 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