{"id":2276,"date":"2021-04-15T05:00:56","date_gmt":"2021-04-15T13:00:56","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/admin.patheos.com\/blogs\/spiritualdirection101\/?p=2276"},"modified":"2021-04-15T12:40:06","modified_gmt":"2021-04-15T20:40:06","slug":"cool-to-be-kind-bruce-reyes-chows-new-book-in-defense-of-kindness","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/spiritualdirection101\/2021\/04\/cool-to-be-kind-bruce-reyes-chows-new-book-in-defense-of-kindness\/","title":{"rendered":"Cool to be Kind: Bruce Reyes-Chow\u2019s new book “In Defense of Kindness”"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<\/head>

\"TeresaKindness might need a defender. From the 2016 presidential election on, there\u2019s been a debate about effective responses to racism, sexism, heterosexism, questions of immigration reform, systemic injustice \u2014 and even just plain rudeness. Do we meet \u201cfire with fire\u201d in our response, do we walk away, or do we handle such dialogue with kindness? Self-proclaimed \u201ckindness enthusiast\u201d and Presbyterian pastor Bruce Reyes-Chow explores those options and more in his new book, \u201cIn Defense of Kindness: Why It Matters, How It Changes Our Lives, and How It Can Save the World<\/a>\u201d (Chalice Press, 2021).<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Reyes-Chow wants to make it cool to be kind \u2014 pointing to the teachings of Mister Rogers as a guide. \u201cWe have lowered the kindness bar, and we have become lazy,\u201d he said, reflecting on how easy it is for dads to be declared amazing when they do any small amount of housework or childcare while so much more is expected, daily, of moms. We are too kind to some groups and too withholding of kindness to others. Drawing on his work in conflict resolution in organizations and his deep understanding of systemic racism, Reyes-Chow tells us it\u2019s OK \u2014 even admirable \u2014 to be kind to individuals in our lives, but we need to expand that to be kind on a macro level, working to dismantle systems of poverty, racism and other forms of discrimination. Kindness is about more than white people cheering on #BlackLivesMatter, it\u2019s also about white people laying down privilege and not making every social justice effort about them.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

In Defense of Kindness is written in short, easy-to-digest chapters addressing ways we can nurture kindness with those closest to us, in the public square, interactions on the internet, as well as times we use kindness in toxic ways \u2014 allowing pity and guilt to drive us to acts of kindness that are not helpful to others but serve only to, as he puts it, \u201cbargain away the sins of our past or alleviate our responsibility to be part of global recovery efforts in times of tragedy.\u201d He tells a story about Christian groups that sent boxes of extra-large paper hospital gowns to Haiti after the 2009 earthquake. Seems like a kind gesture, but:<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

\n

This was the last thing this hospital needed. First, extra-large gowns are huge, and second, paper hospital gowns in such a sweat-inducing climate are not durable. (93)<\/i><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n

The gowns ended up useful in one way: they were burned to provide heat. <\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

One of the toughest challenges for many of us is what Reyes-Chow entitles \u201cKindness to The Politician.\u201d Being kind to the elected official who does not exhibit kindness to people who are poor, sick, disabled or otherwise oppressed is really hard for social justice advocates. But, being kind to the powerful, elected politician who shows little compassion doesn\u2019t mean we ignore their actions and keep our mouths shut. \u201cTo be kind to The Politician means holding them accountable without denying their personal struggles and experiences,\u201d says Reyes-Chow. <\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

So, if you think kindness is in short supply and you struggle with what it means to be kind in difficult situations, this small book can help you think through ways to improve. It includes reflection questions at the end of each chapter, making it a nice guide for a book club or spirituality group, or for individuals to use for journaling or reflection on a solo retreat.<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

\n

Teresa Blythe is a writer and spiritual director based in Phoenix. You can find In Defense of Kindness from Chalice Press<\/a> on Amazon. More on Bruce Reyes-Chow is found at www.reyes-chow.com<\/span><\/a>.<\/span><\/span><\/em><\/span><\/p>\n<\/body><\/html>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Kindness might need a defender. From the 2016 presidential election on, there\u2019s been a debate about effective responses to racism, sexism, heterosexism, questions of immigration reform, systemic injustice \u2014 and even just plain rudeness. Do we meet \u201cfire with fire\u201d in our response, do we walk away, or do we handle such dialogue with kindness? […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1083,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[2009,2003,2006,639,2027,2000,2012,1961,465,546,402,142,14,963,1801,429,1970,1988,38,1967,1973,2018,1958,1982,378,26,1979,2015,1955,1997,130,1994,2024,99,1976,1991,2030,1574,1985,2021,1964,2033,120,5,784],"class_list":["post-2276","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized","tag-actions","tag-black-lives-matter","tag-blacklivesmatter","tag-book","tag-book-review","tag-bruce-reyes-chow","tag-care","tag-chalice-press","tag-christ","tag-christian","tag-christianity","tag-church","tag-contemplation","tag-contemplative","tag-debate","tag-dialogue","tag-discrimination","tag-fire","tag-god","tag-heterosexism","tag-immigration","tag-improvement","tag-in-defense-of-kindness","tag-injustice","tag-jesus","tag-journaling","tag-justice","tag-kind","tag-kindness","tag-pastor","tag-peace","tag-presbyterian","tag-published","tag-racism","tag-reform","tag-response","tag-retreat","tag-review","tag-rudeness","tag-self-improvement","tag-sexism","tag-solo","tag-spirit","tag-spirituality","tag-teresa-blythe"],"yoast_head":"\nCool to be Kind: Bruce Reyes-Chow\u2019s new book "In Defense of Kindness"<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Kindness might need a defender. 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