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Guest blogger, The Rev\u2019d Humphrey Blytherington is Vicar of St Hilda\u2019s, Little Snoring with All Saints, Great Snoring. He is a graduate of Plymouth University. He completed his studies for the ministry at Latimer Hall, Durham. He is married to Daphne and enjoys home brewing, model railroading and is an avid member of the Great Snoring Morris Dancers.<\/em><\/span><\/p>\nThank you very much indeed Nigel. No, not a whiskey this evening if you please. Just the half of lager shandy. Very kind. Very kind. A packet of salt and vinegar crisps? I don\u2019t mind if I do. Thank you very much indeed. That\u2019s right Trevor, a half pint of lager shandy is my usual, and I was only partaking of what old Canon Farnsworth used to call \u2018the Scottish nectar\u2019 a few months ago in order to stave off a rather nasty head cold. Thank you for asking.<\/p>\n
Now what do I think of the election campaign? I must say it\u2019s all rather exciting isn\u2019t it? Of course Mrs Vicar will be voting Tory as she alway does. She\u2019s got a nephew who was up at Oxford with this Cameron chap and she thinks he\u2019ll bring some common sense into running the country. Daphne\u2019s a bit of a card you know,\u00a0and has always enjoyed referring to Mr Brown as \u2018wee Gordon\u2019. Mrs Doyle is a bit more crude and calls him\u00a0\u2018Haggis Face\u2019. Rather juvenile I think don\u2019t you?<\/p>\n
I think it\u2019s about time for a change don\u2019t you? Labour have done their best, but I must say I don\u2019t think we\u2019re much better off for it. What\u2019s that Smithy? Not only not better off but bankrupt? I suppose you have got a point there you know. As far as I can tell they promised to make the poor richer and the rich poorer, but they seem to have done just the opposite. Pity. But\u00a0it really does seem we have far more poor people in Britain than we\u2019ve ever had, but we also have awfully rich folks who seem to have nothing better to spend their money on than diamond encrusted mobile phones and so forth.<\/p>\n
What do I think of the Lib Dems? Daphne calls them the Smiling Stalins. Says she wouldn\u2019t trust any chap called \u2018Clegg\u2019. What sort of name is that? Not one to mince words our Daphne! I\u2019m not really sure myself. He seems a nice enough sort of chappie, but I\u2019m not sure he\u2019s that sure of himself. Seems a bit over confident? Rather like a puppy. Very eager to please, but likely as not to turn around and make a mess on the floor when you\u2019re not looking.
\nDo you know Lavinia and Georgie were out on the village green earlier this week trying to get us all to vote for the Green Party. Extraordinary! They were both dressed in floral dresses with circlets of May flowers in their hair. The Morris Dancers were out in force and together they made quite a sight. I\u2019m afraid I couldn\u2019t do my stint with the Morris Dancers this time. Mrs. Vicar was worried that, as it was such a warm May evening they might do their Ancient Order of Adamites thingamajig and start dancing around in the altogether. We listened to a few of the\u00a0speeches then\u00a0went off home for a mug of cocoa and a digestive biscuit before it all got too rambunctious.<\/p>\n
Who am I voting for? Now that would be telling wouldn\u2019t it? I\u2019m not really prepared to say, but I will let it slip that I usually vote along the same lines as Daphne. Keeps the peace if you know what I mean. I can\u2019t say any of the parties strike me as particularly Christian. Have we seen any of the party leaders with the Archbishop of Canterbury on their platform? Sadly no. Neither have they addressed the really important religious issues of the day like the decline of the Mother\u2019s Union, the Methodist-Anglican Fresh Initiatives\u00a0and the number of bat colonies that infest our historic church towers.<\/p>\n
Funnily enough, they\u2019ve got a new priest down at St Patrick\u2019s and Daphne had him round for dinner the other evening. Nice enough chap.\u00a0Turns out to be English\u2013not Irish\u2013which raised the old eyebrows I must admit. Seems a clever chap too.\u00a0Up at Cambridge after Whittington School.\u00a0Used to be CofE, but then poped during his time in theological college. Never could imagine why a fellow would do such a thing\u2013so disloyal to Queen and country don\u2019t you know? Seems to have taken on board the whole kaboodle\u2013worship of Mary, celibacy\u2026I expect he\u2019ll even sell you the odd indulgence if you need one\u2026anyway, Fr. Hawkins as he\u2019s known, thought that the whole country needed a spiritual renewal before anything positive politically might happen. Rather a rum thing that! It\u2019s more the sort of thing one might expect from Pastor Paisley down at the Primitive Baptist Church.<\/p>\n
I suppose we\u2019ll sail through this election and it will soon be business as usual. Reminds me of the\u00a0church that was having a parish mission. Everyone was quite enthusiastic about it all, and the old churchwarden took the vicar on one side and said, \u201cYou know Vicar, I\u2019ve seen these parish missions in my time. During the mission it\u2019s all \u2018Glory be to the Father, and to the Son and to the Holy Ghost.\u2019 and after the mission it\u2019s \u2018As it was in the beginning is now and ever shall be.\u201d<\/p>\n
Righty ho! Well, I\u2019ve got to be off home. Daphne\u2019s got a scrumptious pot roast cooking, and then Mrs Murphy and her husband Liam are coming\u00a0across to watch the election results. I expect Mr.Snow will be out with his swingometer as usual. All great fun! Cheerio!<\/p>\n<\/body><\/html>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Guest blogger, The Rev\u2019d Humphrey Blytherington is Vicar of St Hilda\u2019s, Little Snoring with All Saints, Great Snoring. He is a graduate of Plymouth University. He completed his studies for the ministry at Latimer Hall, Durham. He is married to Daphne and enjoys home brewing, model railroading and is an avid member of the Great […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":557,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[93],"tags":[4,21,94],"class_list":["post-1151","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-the-vicar","tag-alter-egos","tag-anglicans","tag-humor"],"yoast_head":"\n
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