What is Abuse?<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"This article in USA Today trumpets new reports of clerical abuse across Europe. The problem with the abuse scandals--whether they be reports of child\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/standingonmyhead\/2010\/03\/what-is-abuse.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"What is Abuse?\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"This article in USA Today trumpets new reports of clerical abuse across Europe. The problem with the abuse scandals--whether they be reports of child\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/standingonmyhead\/2010\/03\/what-is-abuse.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Fr. 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{"id":1243,"date":"2010-03-13T15:17:00","date_gmt":"2010-03-13T15:17:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/standingonmyhead\/2010\/03\/what-is-abuse\/"},"modified":"2010-03-13T15:17:00","modified_gmt":"2010-03-13T15:17:00","slug":"what-is-abuse","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/standingonmyhead\/2010\/03\/what-is-abuse.html","title":{"rendered":"What is Abuse?"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<\/head>

This article in USA Today<\/a> trumpets new reports of clerical abuse across Europe. The problem with the abuse scandals\u2013whether they be reports of child abuse in the Catholic Church, schools, orphanages or homes is that the definition of \u2018abuse\u2019 has now become so broad that virtually any form of unpleasantness, real or imagined is considered to be \u2018abuse\u2019.<\/p>\n

It used to be that \u2018abuse\u2019 meant prolonged physical or sexual abuse. It meant a vulnerable person was raped or beaten senseless on a regular basis. Then \u2018abuse\u2019 came to mean any form of sexual molestation or physical punishment. Then the definition was widened to include emotional or psychological abuse. If a child was threatened in any way that was abuse. Then if they were threatened psychologically that was also abuse. Emotional and psychological abuse was next, so as a result if you shouted at a child you were also guilty of abuse. Now if you look at someone the wrong way you\u2019re guilty of \u2019emotional and psychological\u2019 abuse.<\/p>\n

Now the definition is so vague and all encompassing that anyone who has ever lost their temper with anyone else can be accused of abuse or harassment in some form or another. They can find a lawyer and sue. I have listened, for instance, to a woman who was divorcing her husband claim how he abused her and their children. I asked what form this took, \u201cDid he come home drunk and beat you and the kids and rape you or what?\u201d<\/p>\n

She looked shocked and wounded, \u201cNo, it was far more subtle and insidious than that!\u201d<\/p>\n

So what did he actually do? \u201cHe wouldn\u2019t speak to me. He gave me looks that said how much he hated me. He didn\u2019t spend enough time with the children.\u201d<\/p>\n

All of this may have been true. The guy may have been a lousy husband and a bad father, and it is arguable that this is bad parenting; but bad parenting or being a selfish person is not the same as abuse, and it is unjust to say that it is. It reminds me of the guy who was hounded out of his church because he was accused by his wife of having \u2018an emotional affair\u2019 with another woman.<\/p>\n

The problem here, and it is a typical trick of the devil, is to play around with language in order to confuse and mystify. What has happened is that people now make no distinction between bad parenting or selfishness or being a lousy spouse and active serious abuse of others. The one sin is passive. The other is actively evil.<\/p>\n

It is a great injustice to use the umbrella term \u2018abuse\u2019 for all these different problems because now when a man (and it is almost always a man) is accused of \u2018abuse\u2019 people assume that he is a pedophile, a drunk, a rapist or a man of violence when in fact he may simply have been a selfish and lazy person.<\/p>\n

How many of the priests and religious now being accused in this latest wave of allegations are serious offenders and how many are guilty of \u2019emotional\u2019 abuse or \u2018psychological\u2019 abuse or \u2018spiritual\u2019 abuse? They may have been creeps and sinners, but such vague charges can never be proved. They\u2019re subjective. One person may come out of a religious school claiming that there was \u2019emotional and psychological abuse\u2019 because he was expected to get up at 6:00am and attend chapel and would be punished if he didn\u2019t.<\/p>\n

Is it abuse simply because the \u2018victim\u2019 says it was abuse? This is the other injustice: the \u2018victim\u2019 is always right. The accused is always guilty. When the crimes become so vague there can be no proof; the law becomes subjective and sentimental and very grave miscarriages of justice result.<\/p>\n

UPDATE<\/span>: Here\u2019s a good article<\/a>\u00a0on the subject by Andrew Brown of London\u2019s The Guardian.<\/p>\n<\/body><\/html>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"