Every pastor will agree that marriage prep in our day present some impossible moments. The fact is, the majority of couples who present themselves for marriage in the Catholic Church are co-habiting. Furthermore, they don\u2019t see any problem with it, and seem rather surprised when the priest challenges them on their living situation. I have recently come across some good priestly comments when presented with cohabiting couples who want to be married in church.<\/p>\n
See what you think:<\/p>\n
1. I\u2019m so glad you want to get married. That\u2019s certainly the right thing to do as you are already living together. The church is free next Saturday at 2:00. The two of you turn up with a couple of witnesses and we\u2019ll tie the knot. \u00a0Of course, since you\u2019re already living together it would be artificial and pretty tacky for you to have a big, fancy wedding, so there\u2019s no need to have all those bridesmaids and groomsmen and limousines and so forth. You\u2019ll also save yourselves a lot of money. So is that settled then?<\/p>\n
2. \u00a0So let me get this straight. The two of your are living together and having sex right? To the girl: Are you sure you really want to get married to a man who is has sex outside of marriage? If he treats marriage so lightly what reason have you to think that he would change after marriage? To the guy: Ditto.<\/p>\n
Usually the couple offer the excuse that it is cheaper for them to live together.<\/p>\n
3. So you\u2019re living (and sleeping) together because of economic reasons? In other words, living together is cheaper than living separately and sex is part of the deal? This means money is more important to you than sexual morality. Look at it another way, you\u2019re being financially rewarded for having sex outside marriage. Many people would have another name for this. To the guy: is this the sort of girl you want?<\/p>\n
4. To the girl: Help me understand: you decided to move in with this guy so that you would help pay the rent and utilities. He gets sex whenever he wants it, (because of course you are using contraception) and I wonder who ends up doing most of the housework and washing and cooking and shopping? You get all the responsibility of marriage, but no security, no legal status and he could drop you whenever he wants\u2013maybe with a baby on the way? And you call this women\u2019s liberation?<\/p>\n
5. I see. You are living together because you are hard up and can\u2019t afford to live apart. May I ask what your budget is for this wedding? $30,000.00? Why not ask your parents to pay your rent for the remaining time before your big wedding and then cut back on what you spend on the wedding? Cut the limo, the big honeymoon, the expensive rehearsal dinner and so forth, and you\u2019ll have all the money you need to live separately.<\/p>\n
6. So money\u2019s the issue? You can\u2019t afford any place for the girl to live on her own chastely until she gets married? Hang on a minute, I\u2019ll call Mother Veronica over at the convent and see if we can arrange a room for her there for a year or so until the wedding. That\u2019s no good? How would it be then, if the parish pays her rent for six months. You cut right back on the wedding expenses and then we\u2019ll cover the rent. Sound good?<\/p>\n
Couples argue that it isn\u2019t anyone else\u2019s business\u2026<\/p>\n
7. But marriage is a public sacrament. You\u2019re either helping us uphold marriage by living chastely, or you are not. You want to come to church to have a public wedding, and yet whenever the neighbors and your family and friends see you sharing the same front door without being married they hear you saying that marriage doesn\u2019t matter to you. Christians are often blamed for being hypocrites. Don\u2019t you think your behavior is hypocritical?<\/p>\n
UPDATE: Err, for those who are taking this post too seriously I should add that I wouldn\u2019t actually say these things to a cohabiting couple.<\/p>\n<\/body><\/html>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Every pastor will agree that marriage prep in our day present some impossible moments. The fact is, the majority of couples who present themselves for marriage in the Catholic Church are co-habiting. Furthermore, they don\u2019t see any problem with it, and seem rather surprised when the priest challenges them on their living situation. I have […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":557,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-573","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"yoast_head":"\n