<\/div>\n
Has anyone else noticed what I call the \u2018sponge words\u2019 we use increasingly? These are words that are amorphous, vague and spongy. They soak up huge amounts of sub-text, innuendo and connotation, but they can mean virtually anything.<\/p>\n
Take the word \u2018inappropriate\u2019. What on earth does that mean? I hear it in the confessional all the time, \u201cI did something inappropriate with my girlfriend.\u201d Huh? So I say, \u201cSon, you\u2019ll have to be a little bit more precise. I don\u2019t want the juicy details, but nobody really knows what \u2018inappropriate\u2019 means. Did you cheat at miniature golf? Rob a bank like Bonnie and Clyde? Use the wrong fork when you went out to dinner? Gossip about a friend? Hold her hand at the movies or have sexual intercourse?\u201d Honestly, people have different standards, and the word \u2018inappropriate\u2019 can mean anything or nothing at all.<\/p>\n
When it comes to sexual behaviors in our society today what is \u2018inappropriate\u2019? College kids who are \u2018hooking up\u2019 every weekend might think it \u2018inappropriate\u2019 to hook up with more than two people on one weekend. A couple who are dating might think it perfectly \u2018appropriate\u2019 to spend the night together or go on vacation together. Things are not what they once were. Standards in our society have shifted. I\u2019ve known priests, for example, who think it totally \u2018appropriate\u2019 to have a sexual partner because, they argue, their vow of celibacy just means they can\u2019t get married.<\/p>\n
The word \u2018appropriate\u2019 or \u2018inappropriate\u2019 is used to excuse sin and let ourselves off the hook, but it can also be used to condemn people unjustly because nobody really defines what the word means. Instead they throw it around at their own convenience. So Nancy Smith says in a shocked tone about a Catholic school teacher, \u201cHe had an inappropriate relationship with my daughter!\u201d Turns out the poor had the girl\u2019s cell phone number on his cell phone contacts list because he had to contact the girl when they were on a school field trip and now, due to the gossip everyone thinks he was sleeping with the girl.<\/p>\n
Another sponge word is \u2018affair\u2019. \u201cMy husband is having an affair!\u201d or \u201cMy wife was having an affair with another man for five years!\u201d It turns out that it was \u201can emotional affair\u201d which consisted of flirting and texting and meeting up for a meal. OK, such behavior doesn\u2019t help a marriage. It\u2019s a form of betrayal. It breeds jealousy and is dumb, and it can even be sinful. It destroys trust and can wreck a relationship, but it\u2019s not an affair. An affair means adultery. Adultery is when you have sexual intercourse with someone who is married to somebody else, or with someone who is not your spouse. I know one woman who told everyone her husband was having an affair. His reputation is wrecked and all the other woman look down on him as a dirty beast when all he did was chat with an old girlfriend on Facebook.<\/p>\n
The third sponge word is \u2018abuse\u2019. How do I hear, \u201cMy father was abusive!\u201d or \u201cMy wife is abusive to the kids.\u201d or \u201cMy boss is abusive.\u201d This used to mean that a guy came home drunk three times a week, gave his wife a black eye, kicked his kids down the stairs, and locked his mother in law in the closet. Now, when you check the facts you find out that the \u2018abusive father\u2019 loses it and shouts at the kids sometimes, or the \u2018abusive mother\u2019 gets stroppy once a month and swears at the kids and maybe spanks them once in a while. Then there is \u2019emotional abuse\u2019 and even \u2018spiritual abuse\u2019. Yes, I suppose all these things happen, but too often these spongy words contribute to a whiny, victim culture.<\/p>\n
Meanwhile the \u2018abusive institution\u2019 may well be a Catholic school that has high standards of discipline and expects kids to behave themselves. I had a guy complain of \u2018an abusive priest\u2019 once and I thought he\u2019d been molested by some pervert priest. It turns out that the man, when he was a kid, turned up to be an altar server wearing sneakers and the priest told him that he couldn\u2019t serve wearing sneakers.<\/p>\n
Instead of sponge words we need square facts. In general conversation, keep to the facts and avoid gossip and detraction and sponge words that are loaded with innuendo. In confession tell the priest what happened clearly and objectively without going into gory details. Use circumlocution and discreet language by all means to soften the shock and shame, if shocking and shameful it is, but be honest and transparent and don\u2019t use weasly, cowardly spongy words like \u2018inappropriate\u2019, \u2018affair\u2019 and \u2018abuse\u2019.<\/p>\n<\/body><\/html>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Has anyone else noticed what I call the \u2018sponge words\u2019 we use increasingly? These are words that are amorphous, vague and spongy. They soak up huge amounts of sub-text, innuendo and connotation, but they can mean virtually anything. Take the word \u2018inappropriate\u2019. What on earth does that mean? I hear it in the confessional all […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":557,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-576","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"yoast_head":"\n
Sponge Words Square Facts<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Has anyone else noticed what I call the 'sponge words' we use increasingly? These are words that are amorphous, vague and spongy. They soak up huge\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/standingonmyhead\/2011\/07\/sponge-words-square-facts.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Sponge Words Square Facts\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Has anyone else noticed what I call the 'sponge words' we use increasingly? These are words that are amorphous, vague and spongy. They soak up huge\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/standingonmyhead\/2011\/07\/sponge-words-square-facts.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Fr. Dwight Longenecker\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2011-07-08T10:12:00+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2014-12-26T16:20:09+00:00\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Fr. Dwight Longenecker\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"Fr. Dwight Longenecker\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"4 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\/\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/standingonmyhead\/2011\/07\/sponge-words-square-facts.html\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/standingonmyhead\/2011\/07\/sponge-words-square-facts.html\",\"name\":\"Sponge Words Square Facts\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/standingonmyhead\/#website\"},\"datePublished\":\"2011-07-08T10:12:00+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2014-12-26T16:20:09+00:00\",\"author\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/standingonmyhead\/#\/schema\/person\/9a47bc6ba9c0a8c532dc90230d7ad3ad\"},\"description\":\"Has anyone else noticed what I call the 'sponge words' we use increasingly? These are words that are amorphous, vague and spongy. They soak up huge\",\"breadcrumb\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/standingonmyhead\/2011\/07\/sponge-words-square-facts.html#breadcrumb\"},\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"ReadAction\",\"target\":[\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/standingonmyhead\/2011\/07\/sponge-words-square-facts.html\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"BreadcrumbList\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/standingonmyhead\/2011\/07\/sponge-words-square-facts.html#breadcrumb\",\"itemListElement\":[{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":1,\"name\":\"Home\",\"item\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/standingonmyhead\"},{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":2,\"name\":\"Sponge Words Square Facts\"}]},{\"@type\":\"WebSite\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/standingonmyhead\/#website\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/standingonmyhead\/\",\"name\":\"Fr. Dwight Longenecker\",\"description\":\"\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"SearchAction\",\"target\":{\"@type\":\"EntryPoint\",\"urlTemplate\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/standingonmyhead\/?s={search_term_string}\"},\"query-input\":\"required name=search_term_string\"}],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\"},{\"@type\":\"Person\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/standingonmyhead\/#\/schema\/person\/9a47bc6ba9c0a8c532dc90230d7ad3ad\",\"name\":\"Fr. Dwight Longenecker\",\"image\":{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/standingonmyhead\/#\/schema\/person\/image\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/8dbbfbf5b6d096630322e90bce3f0cec?s=96&r=g\",\"contentUrl\":\"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/8dbbfbf5b6d096630322e90bce3f0cec?s=96&r=g\",\"caption\":\"Fr. Dwight Longenecker\"},\"sameAs\":[\"http:\/\/dwightlongenecker.com\"],\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/standingonmyhead\/author\/frdwight\"}]}<\/script>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"Sponge Words Square Facts","description":"Has anyone else noticed what I call the 'sponge words' we use increasingly? These are words that are amorphous, vague and spongy. They soak up huge","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/standingonmyhead\/2011\/07\/sponge-words-square-facts.html","og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"Sponge Words Square Facts","og_description":"Has anyone else noticed what I call the 'sponge words' we use increasingly? These are words that are amorphous, vague and spongy. They soak up huge","og_url":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/standingonmyhead\/2011\/07\/sponge-words-square-facts.html","og_site_name":"Fr. Dwight Longenecker","article_published_time":"2011-07-08T10:12:00+00:00","article_modified_time":"2014-12-26T16:20:09+00:00","author":"Fr. Dwight Longenecker","twitter_card":"summary_large_image","twitter_misc":{"Written by":"Fr. Dwight Longenecker","Est. reading time":"4 minutes"},"schema":{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org","@graph":[{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/standingonmyhead\/2011\/07\/sponge-words-square-facts.html","url":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/standingonmyhead\/2011\/07\/sponge-words-square-facts.html","name":"Sponge Words Square Facts","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/standingonmyhead\/#website"},"datePublished":"2011-07-08T10:12:00+00:00","dateModified":"2014-12-26T16:20:09+00:00","author":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/standingonmyhead\/#\/schema\/person\/9a47bc6ba9c0a8c532dc90230d7ad3ad"},"description":"Has anyone else noticed what I call the 'sponge words' we use increasingly? These are words that are amorphous, vague and spongy. They soak up huge","breadcrumb":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/standingonmyhead\/2011\/07\/sponge-words-square-facts.html#breadcrumb"},"inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"ReadAction","target":["https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/standingonmyhead\/2011\/07\/sponge-words-square-facts.html"]}]},{"@type":"BreadcrumbList","@id":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/standingonmyhead\/2011\/07\/sponge-words-square-facts.html#breadcrumb","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"name":"Home","item":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/standingonmyhead"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"name":"Sponge Words Square Facts"}]},{"@type":"WebSite","@id":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/standingonmyhead\/#website","url":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/standingonmyhead\/","name":"Fr. Dwight Longenecker","description":"","potentialAction":[{"@type":"SearchAction","target":{"@type":"EntryPoint","urlTemplate":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/standingonmyhead\/?s={search_term_string}"},"query-input":"required name=search_term_string"}],"inLanguage":"en-US"},{"@type":"Person","@id":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/standingonmyhead\/#\/schema\/person\/9a47bc6ba9c0a8c532dc90230d7ad3ad","name":"Fr. Dwight Longenecker","image":{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/standingonmyhead\/#\/schema\/person\/image\/","url":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/8dbbfbf5b6d096630322e90bce3f0cec?s=96&r=g","contentUrl":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/8dbbfbf5b6d096630322e90bce3f0cec?s=96&r=g","caption":"Fr. Dwight Longenecker"},"sameAs":["http:\/\/dwightlongenecker.com"],"url":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/standingonmyhead\/author\/frdwight"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/standingonmyhead\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/576","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/standingonmyhead\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/standingonmyhead\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/standingonmyhead\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/557"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/standingonmyhead\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=576"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/standingonmyhead\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/576\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/standingonmyhead\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=576"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/standingonmyhead\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=576"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/standingonmyhead\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=576"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}