about it here<\/a>\u00a0if you have a strong stomach.<\/p>\nThere is shock and horror all around, and the usual bleating from the faithful, \u201cHow could it be true! He baptized my children! He was so delightful! He was such a great preacher! He was always kind to the poor! He was one of the best priests I\u2019ve ever known!\u201d Then there is the denial, \u201cThose accusers must be exaggerating! There is a sinister plot! It\u2019s the bishop\u2019s fault! He has it out for Father Sliptalot! We mustn\u2019t judge before Fr. Foolabout has a chance to answer for himself! He never really took a vow of poverty anyway! That woman he was with\u2013he was counseling her! That\u2019s all! She is a crazy drunk and addict! Those men who remember being molested\u2013that sort of thing went on in boarding schools! It\u2019s no big deal! The other priests are jealous of Father Jekyll.\u201d<\/p>\n
I don\u2019t understand how people, who are otherwise pretty canny professionals, seem to understand so very little about male psychology. Why is it possible for Fr. Jekyll to turn to the dark side and become the monster Mr. Hyde? It\u2019s because men have that membrane between the two lobes of their brain that allows them to compartmentalize stuff. Men can be objective and separate out different parts of their existence and behavior. This allow us to concentrate better than women, but not to multi task as well as women. It also allows us to get on and do nasty things if we have to without being emotionally involved. So the male hunter has to get food for his family and he sees mama deer with Bambi. He shoots them both and brings home the bacon. A woman would cry and say, \u201cBut you can\u2019t shoot that darling little fawn while he\u2019s nursing his mama!!\u201d Bang! \u201cFuhgeddaboudit. I gotta eat\u201d says the brute.<\/p>\n
The same ability to compartmentalize allows a man to wear a uniform and play a role in society more routinely and effectively than a woman. Most men do this all the time without thinking. Dad puts on a business suit and goes out into the world to do business with his business persona firmly in place. Dad puts on his work clothes, his uniform, his persona and gets on with the job. This does not mean that he is always a fake and that his work does not involve his personality or that he is some sort of automaton. It\u2019s just that one part of his brain is kicking in and the other parts of him are blocked. He\u2019s compartmentalizing.<\/p>\n
A priest has to do this big time. He\u2019s always putting on a uniform. He wears the clericals. He wears a cassock. He puts on vestments for the liturgy. As he does so he enacts the part of the priest. He\u2019s doing his job. This does NOT mean he\u2019s a phony. It doesn\u2019t mean he\u2019s not real or not a good man or not a good priest. It\u2019s simply part of the job. However\u2013should that man be struggling with a dark side of his personality the uniform and playing the part of the priest can become an alternative reality. He can start believing that the holy priest he is presenting to the world is actually the same as his real personality. In other words, if a priest is struggling with some dark secret, then the alternative priestly persona becomes a secure refuge, and the darker and more obscene the secret, the more perfect the priestly persona has to be. See how it works? \u00a0The worse my dark secret, the better I have to pretend on the outside to show everyone (and especially myself) what a good person I am. That\u2019s why the ones who crash and burn are always, \u201cThe best priest I have ever known!\u201d<\/p>\n
Meanwhile the poor guy is compartmentalizing like mad. He\u2019s pushing away all the dark stuff, not dealing with it, denying it ever happened or saying, \u201cI slipped up. It won\u2019t happen again.\u201d He locks it all down and keeps up the show. Unfortunately, his religious superiors, his parishioners, colleagues, family and friends too often collude with the deception because they also want to believe that Father Wonderful really is as wonderful as he appears. So they overlook the danger signs as \u2018little foibles\u2019 or \u2018obvious faults\u2019. They did this with Fr. Cunningham (who I knew from my time in England). He was (in my experience) a leery, rather creepy drunkard and snob who was involved much too closely with the secretary of the parish. But everyone said, \u201cHe was a benevolent and boozy old coot who had a roguish eye for the ladies.\u201d Seems he had an eye for the laddies as well.<\/p>\n
He (and his order) were compartmentalizing big time and so you end up with Fr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. Do you remember that scene in C.S.Lewis\u2019 The Great Divorce?<\/i>\u00a0A large, pompous fellow (I forget his name\u2013call him Stanley) is talking to the shade of his wife and he\u2019s playing the great dramatic scene of self pity and self importance. Meanwhile the wife (who is a humble soul) is talking to a little dwarf that the big man Stanley holds on a chain. The pompous fool says to her, \u201cDon\u2019t talk to him. Talk to me my darling!\u201d She replies that the dwarf is who she wants to talk to because it is the real Stanley. The pretend Stanley had taken over and the real Stanley was shrinking. Finally the fake Stanley give a final pull on the chain and the real Stanley disappears forever. So it is when a false persona takes over the real person.<\/p>\n
Please don\u2019t get me wrong folks. I\u2019m not saying all priests are like this. I\u2019m simply saying that some are, (just like many lay people are) and when this twisted dynamic of compartmentalizing and faking it takes over (no matter who it is) things gets very messy for everyone. Also, please understand that while some people do this big time, many more do it on a lesser scale. Other men do it for a time, and then get over it and grow up.<\/p>\n
What makes it all the more complicated is that the priest really is supposed to grow out of himself and \u2018grow up into the full stature of Christ \u00a0Jesus\u2019. \u00a0We really are supposed to fill the vestments and become the \u2018alter Christus\u2019 that we are called to be. To do this we have to pretend sometimes. We have to try hard by God\u2019s grace. We stumble and fall and get up again, but what we can\u2019t do is compartmentalize our dark side, deny our wrongdoing and justify our sin. That way lies destruction.<\/p>\n
Instead, like all of God\u2019s children, we priests have to acknowledge our sin, turn to Christ, plead for mercy and allow God\u2019s grace to somehow work that transformation in our souls before Mr. Hyde takes over and Fr. Jekyll disappears forever.<\/p>\n<\/body><\/html>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
So now we have the truth about Fr. Corapi, and English Catholics are dealing with the truth about a well known and much loved priest, Fr. Kit Cunningham. Fr. Kit appeared to be a \u2018lovable eccentric\u2019 who did much good and hob nobbed with all the media types in London. Turns out when he was […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":557,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-583","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"yoast_head":"\n
Fr. Jekyll and Mr.Hyde<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"So now we have the truth about Fr. Corapi, and English Catholics are dealing with the truth about a well known and much loved priest, Fr. Kit Cunningham.\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/standingonmyhead\/2011\/07\/fr-jekyll-and-mr-hyde.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Fr. Jekyll and Mr.Hyde\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"So now we have the truth about Fr. Corapi, and English Catholics are dealing with the truth about a well known and much loved priest, Fr. 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