A half pint of lager shandy? Thank you Ian, I don\u2019t mind if I do. Very nice. Would you mind awfully asking for a packet of those scampi fries? They\u2019re a tasty snack aren\u2019t they? Get two. We\u2019ll share them \u2019round.<\/p>\n
The auditions for the parish party went well. Yes, I must admit it, I\u2019ll be doing my Mr. Bean act once again. It seems to be a favourite doesn\u2019t it?<\/p>\n
Well, it look like we\u2019re about to have a new Archbishop of Canterbury.\u00a0That Welsh fellow is off to Cambridge. I always thought he needed a good barber don\u2019t you? Bit scruffy. He was Welsh, and perhaps what they expect of their Druids\u2013never did understand all that I must admit. What do I think of him? Nice enough chap I suppose. Can\u2019t help feeling sorry for him. I always felt his main problem is that he was forever trying to explain himself. Better not to do that I think. My old schoolmaster\u2013the one who wound up in the soup\u2013used to say, \u201cDon\u2019t explain and don\u2019t complain!\u201d. \u00a0There\u2019s something to that.<\/p>\n
This new one seems to be champing at the bit rather. I expect he wants to get things done and has lots of bright ideas, and\u00a0\u00a0I wish him well. Everybody says what a difficult job being Archbishop of Canterbury must be, but I\u2019ve never seen it myself. All a chap\u2019s got to do in a situation like that is keep his mouth shut, smile quite a lot, agree with everybody, have a few jokes handy and then not do very much. I\u2019ve always found it\u2019s when you try to start something up or solve a problem that the real difficulties start. No matter what you do someone\u2019s bound to get rather sniffy. Better to let sleeping dogs lie don\u2019t you think?<\/p>\n
Take this matter of these fellows who want to marry one another. First I heard of it was when the Dean of Girdle mentioned it at my interview to come here. I can\u2019t say I agree with it, but Lavinia seems keen. Says she and her partner Georgie Samsonite have already had some sort of wedding. So off they go, trying to change the world. It\u2019s bound to end in tears. She likes to bring the subject up quite a bit at the clergy meetings. Best thing to do in a situation like that is to keep smiling and not say much of anything. Someone like Lavinia\u2019s a rather determined sort. Best to sit back and let them get on with it. I mean to say, it\u2019s not really my cup of tea, but I can\u2019t see it does any harm.<\/p>\n
That would be my advice to the new Archbishop. It\u2019s served me well all these years. Why I remember when I was at St Dunstan\u2019s and let things chortle along everything was fine. It was when I tried to do anything that it all went pear shaped. It\u2019s when I had a bit of a flutter with some church funds on the stock market that I got my fingers burned. Then there was the time I had the bright idea of bringing in some of that modern music for the young. Next thing I knew they had a rock and roll band in the church and some sort of flashing lights and so forth. It was all a great mistake and lucky for me Daphne came in at the last minute and pulled the plug. All the lights went out and I had to light a few candles and sing \u201cThe Day Thou Gavest Lord Has Ended\u201d, apologize and send them all home.<\/p>\n
The problem with all these bright young things in the Church of England is that they all want to go around changing everything. Lavinia with her wimmin\u2019s peace group and the Order of Adamites\u2026and that young curate over at St Cuthbert\u2019s chaining himself to the churchyard fence to protest the stockbrokers. All it really does is upset everyone. Poor old Major Wildebeest is worked up about it all the time.<\/p>\n
All this keeping up with the times and being relevant. I can\u2019t see it myself. I\u2019ve learned my lesson. Keep things the same. \u00a0As the Yanks say, \u201cIf it ain\u2019t broke don\u2019t fix it.\u201d We were all going along quite happily with things as they had been for as long as I can remember, Hymns Ancient and Modern, Morning Prayer and Holy Eucharist at 8, the monthly family service, tea in the Vicarage at 4 and evensong at 6, the garden party and the Christmas bazaar\u2026<\/p>\n
Nevermind. Let\u2019s look on the bright side! So here\u2019s to the new Archbishop lads, let\u2019s hope \u00a0he\u2019ll simply keep the show on the road and avoid all the silly new fangled stuff. If only we can just keep to the old ways. Changing things about for change\u2019s sake doesn\u2019t seem right somehow. Daphne was quoting one of her favorites just the other day saying \u201cThe Church that marries the spirit of the age will soon be a widow.\u201d Something to that I think. Problem is, I\u2019m not sure where to find a church like that. If it isn\u2019t the dear old C of E who is it?<\/p>\n
Well, I\u2019d better toddle off home lads. Mefistofele will want letting out and she who must be obeyed will be waiting for me no doubt with some bon mot<\/em> from Cardinal Newman or some such.<\/p>\n ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++<\/p>\n![\"\"](\"https:\/\/wp-media.patheos.com\/blogs\/sites\/149\/2013\/02\/Vicar-of-Snoring.jpg\" "\\"Vicar")
<\/a>Have you read The Vicar of Great Snoring?\u00a0<\/em>Go\u00a0here<\/a>\u00a0(or check out the right sidebar) to purchase the first full length short story featuring Humph and his pals. Read the adventure of how he and Daphne ended up in Great Snoring. It\u2019s available as an e-book for Kindle or as a download. Price: $2.99<\/p>\n