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<\/a>Trigger Warning: This article discusses nonviolent responses to situations that might create an emotional reaction in readers. My hope is to provide an example of a nonviolent response in an extreme situation. This, I realize, may trigger a reaction within you, so I wanted to provide a warning before you read further.<\/em><\/p>\n When I talk about nonviolence, someone will inevitably say, \u201cThat\u2019s great, but what would you do if someone had a gun to your wife\u2019s head?\u201d<\/p>\n Responses to nonviolence often go to these extreme examples. Of course I would do my best to protect my wife, myself, my children, a friend, for that matter, a stranger. If that means a form of violence against a perpetrator, then so be it. I believe Jesus\u2019 call to love our enemies means loving them the same way he loved his enemies. An important aspect of Christian discipleship is nonviolence. But, heaven forbid, if I were ever in this extreme situation, I hope that I\u2019d do whatever I could to protect myself or someone else, even if that includes violence.<\/p>\n But the question often implies a false assumption that violence is our only option to violence. Our culture trains us to think this way. Heroes in movies and on television are usually those who successfully protects the vulnerable by responding to violence with violence.<\/p>\n This hero mentality is part of American culture, and is seen in the NRA\u2019s statement that, \u201cThe only thing that stops a bad guy with a gun is a good guy with a gun.\u201d In reality, mirroring violence with violence escalates an already dangerous situation. Mother Jones states<\/a> that in shootings where, \u201carmed civilians attempted to intervene, those civilians not only failed to stop the shooter but also were gravely wounded or killed.\u201d In addition, Mother Jones claims that, \u201cArmed civilians attempting to intervene are actually more likely to increase bloodshed.\u201d<\/p>\n The hero mentality mirrors violence, which usually leads to more death. Fortunately, violence is not our only option when threatened with violence. There are many creative nonviolent strategies to de-escalate a violent situation.<\/p>\n Angie O\u2019Gorman is a great example. She was trained in nonviolence, so was prepared for the most terrifying night of her life.<\/p>\n While asleep in the middle of the night, Angie woke up to a man kicking open her bedroom door. She was alone in the house and her phone was downstairs. The man barged into her room, threatening her with verbal assaults, then he walked to her bed. Angie\u2019 response surprised her intruder and even herself. She reports in the book The Universe Bends Toward Justice<\/em><\/a> that,<\/p>\n As I lay there, feeling a fear and vulnerability I had never before experienced, several thoughts went through my head \u2013 all in the matter of seconds. The first was the uselessness of screaming. The second was the fallacy of thinking safety depends on having a gun hidden under my pillow. Somehow I could not imagine this man standing patiently while I reached under my pillow for my gun. The third thought, I believe, saved my life. I realized with a certain clarity that either he and I made it through this situation safely\u2014together\u2014or we would both be damaged. Our safety was connected \u2026 That thought disarmed me. It freed me from my own desire to lash out and at the same time from my own paralysis. It did not free me from feelings of fear but from fear\u2019s control over my ability to respond. I found myself acting out of a concern for both our safety which caused me to react with a certain firmness but with surprisingly little hostility in my voice.<\/em><\/p>\n I asked him what time it was. He answered. That was a good sign. I commented that his watch and the clock on my night stand had different times. His said 2:30, mine said 2:45. I had just set mine. I hoped his watch wasn\u2019t broken. When had he last set it? He answered. I answered. The time seemed endless. When the atmosphere began to calm a little I asked him how he had gotten in the house. He\u2019d broken through the glass in the back door. I told him that presented me with a problem, as I did not have the money to buy new glass. He talked about some financial difficulties of his own. We talked until we were no longer strangers and I felt it was safe to ask him to leave. He didn\u2019t want to; said he had no place to go. Knowing I did not have the physical power to force him out I told him firmly but respectfully, as equal to equal, I would give him a set of clean sheets but he would have to make his own bed downstairs. He went downstairs and I sat up in bed, wide awake and shaking for the rest of the night. The next morning we ate breakfast together and he left.[1]<\/strong><\/a><\/em><\/p>\n Faced with boundless fear and vulnerability, Angie knew that violence was not her only option. In fact, violence would only make the situation worse. She calmed her potential assailant by talking with him.<\/p>\n As opposed to mirroring his hostility, she asked, \u201cWhat time is it?\u201d One of the principles of nonviolence is the element of surprise. The question disarmed him, physically and emotionally. She saw their shared humanity as they continued to talk and she offered him a place to sleep. But she also knew that their \u201csafety was connected.\u201d Her safety depended on his safety. That may seem counter-intuitive, but if Angie threatened him with violence, he would have responded with more violence, making the situation even more dangerous. Because Angie didn\u2019t respond with hostility or violence, the situation deescalated from threats of harm to the near miracle of sharing breakfast.<\/p>\n If she had a gun under her pillow, I couldn\u2019t blame her for trying to use it. But Angie found a creative, nonviolent way to manage the violence that threatened her. And, according to her, Angie\u2019s training in nonviolence saved her life.<\/p>\n What would happen if we stopped telling cultural stories that trained us to fight violence with violence and started telling more stories like Angie\u2019s? What would happen if we started to realize that our safety is bound up with one another? Unfortunately, we can\u2019t afford to wait for movies, television, or other forms of media to tell those stories. We would do well to start intentionally training ourselves in nonviolent responses now. My friends at the Metta Center for Nonviolence<\/a> are an excellent place to start. Their website includes a free self-guided study<\/a> on nonviolent practices.<\/p>\n So, what would you do if \u2026? Violence is one option, and I wouldn\u2019t blame anyone for using it, but it\u2019s not our only option. We don\u2019t have to escalate a dangerous situation with more violence. Instead, like Angie, we can use creative and practical nonviolent solutions.<\/p>\n \u00a0<\/p>\n [1]<\/a> Angie\u2019s story is also found in Walter Wink\u2019s book Engaging the Powers: Discernment and Resistance in a World of Domination<\/a><\/em>, (234).<\/p>\n<\/body><\/html>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Trigger Warning: This article discusses nonviolent responses to situations that might create an emotional reaction in readers. My hope is to provide an example of a nonviolent response in an extreme situation. This, I realize, may trigger a reaction within you, so I wanted to provide a warning before you read further. When I talk […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1651,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[1944,396,1946,1947,137,1945,205],"class_list":["post-3693","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized","tag-angie-ogorman","tag-fear","tag-gun","tag-metta-center-for-nonviolence","tag-nonviolence","tag-nra","tag-violence"],"yoast_head":"\n
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