{"id":126,"date":"2016-08-08T12:05:20","date_gmt":"2016-08-08T20:05:20","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/admin.patheos.com\/blogs\/tempest\/?p=126"},"modified":"2016-08-08T12:05:20","modified_gmt":"2016-08-08T20:05:20","slug":"too-young-too-old-but-just-right","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/tempest\/2016\/08\/too-young-too-old-but-just-right.html","title":{"rendered":"Too Young, Too Old, But Just Right"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<\/head>

I just got back from a fabulous weekend of participating in Many Gods West,<\/a> and I\u2019ll be talking about that soon, but first, this\u2026<\/em><\/p>\n

I wasn\u2019t online much over the last few days, but at some point I sat down to decompress a bit and scroll through my feed. \u00a0The announcement of a new blog caught my eye, and I clicked for more info. \u00a0The writer was introducing themselves and the rather problematic area they would be addressing as their theme throughout. \u00a0Right up front was their age and I must confess that I instinctively had an eye-roll reaction because it was quite tender in numbers.<\/p>\n

But then I remembered everything I had already done and been involved with by the time I was their age (founder of a college Pagan society that became an all-path Pagan society \u2013 the largest active one in New England at that time, \u00a0co-founder of a tradition, associate editor of a Pagan publication, regional and state coordinator for PPD, youngest attendee of the Pagan Leaders Conference and so on) and I checked myself.<\/p>\n

The next day, the age thing pinged again in casual discussion with another MGW presenter who was talking about the path they had founded in their late teens\/early 20\u2019s, and the level of ambition they had then versus half a decade or so later. \u00a0And not just because of my own level of exhaustion from leading ritual the night before, I commiserated about the things we do when we are younger,\u00a0amazed at what we were able to accomplish in such a short time.<\/p>\n

It\u2019s really not that surprising that I\u2019m thinking about\u00a0age and paths. A little while back, PantheaCon<\/a> announced their theme for 2017 would be \u201cPagans of All Ages and Kinds\u201d<\/strong><\/em> so my brain has been working on that in the background. \u00a0Celebrating diversity between paths is essential to an inclusive event, but I feel there\u2019s some very important work to be done in bridging the age gaps. It\u2019s important to understand the differences between paths, but even within our own paths, it can be all-too-easy to dismiss someone because they\u2019re older or younger than yourself.<\/p>\n

\"Vision\/Knowledge\" - spellcraft painting by the author
\u201cVision\/Knowledge\u201d \u2013 spellcraft painting by the author<\/em><\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

For the younger folk, they\u2019re out to change the world, and they have an incredible amount of ambition and energy to do it, but not necessarily the expertise or finesse to do it in the most effective way. But it can seem\u00a0like everyone older than them just wants to shut them down or force their own agenda upon them.<\/p>\n

Of the older folk, they remember making mistakes, and are often still unforgiving\u00a0toward\u00a0their younger selves for not knowing better. \u00a0They inwardly wince at what they did wrong instead of focusing on what they did right and how they got where they are now. \u00a0It can also seem\u00a0like the younger folks are disrespecting them by not responding well to their\u00a0learned\u00a0input.<\/p>\n

Add into the mix the widening technology\/generation gap, complicated by the mixed blessing that we\u2019re all living longer. \u00a0As technology moves faster and faster, the means of communication changes more quickly, as do the ideas carried by them. \u00a0What is consider polite and proper etiquette for a twenty-something can be odd and improper to a sixty-something. \u00a0And vice versa, when that sixty-something uses the terminology they\u2019ve been using for\u00a0the last 20 years runs about against the swiftly changing arena of social change\/awareness, inadvertent friction happens that can cause huge amounts of drama because no one is understanding the gap.<\/p>\n

I feel as P-words (Pagans, Polytheists, Path-of-your-naming), existing in that gap and being aware of it is inherent to our paths. \u00a0Working with the liminal is our specialty, and that shouldn\u2019t be limited to formal ritual and spellcraft, but extend to the magick of communication as well. \u00a0The most powerful thing we can do is to set aside the perceived borders and use our strengths to work together. \u00a0The young are flexible, enthusiastic\u00a0and full of energy. \u00a0The older are experienced, reserved, and enduring. \u00a0These traits combined make for powerful working, but it takes patience, mutual respect, and understanding for them to come together.<\/p>\n

You may be wondering where I consider myself, and that would be somewhere in the middle. \u00a0I grew up that way, often associating better with those significantly older than myself or being able to connect with those much younger. \u00a0I look much younger physically than I am (witchcraft! sunscreen!<\/em>), but have often have been mistaken through my work as being someone much older. \u00a0It\u2019s definitely a weird space to exist in, but I\u2019m starting to understand the reasons or purposes behind it. \u00a0Maybe that\u2019s part of my\/our job, those of us in the between place, to bring everyone together.<\/p>\n

So how do we bridge that gap? Here are some thoughts:<\/strong><\/em>
\n-Exercise comprehensive reading and listening. \u00a0Instead of firing off a reaction\/response, take a few moments (or more) to make sure you understand what the other person is saying and where they are coming from. \u00a0Ask questions to get more information. \u00a0It\u2019s very easy to misread and put your own baggage between the lines.<\/p>\n

-If something someone said is offensive and alarming to you, especially when in general you tend to agree with their work, don\u2019t immediately \u201ccall them out\u201d by condemning them publicly, but instead reach out to find middle ground. \u00a0Help educate them in the best way you can. \u00a0If you care enough to be offended, then you can care enough to get past \u201cnot my job.\u201d \u00a0Helping someone to understand how to do it right instead of telling them they\u2019re doing it wrong goes a long ways for making change happen.<\/p>\n

-Don\u2019t immediately dismiss advice as someone trying to push you down. \u00a0Similarly, if you\u2019re offering advice, do it respectfully, \u201cIn the past, I found that doing X worked better than Y, and here\u2019s why\u201d instead of \u201cYou should do X.\u201d<\/p>\n

-Don\u2019t assume. \u00a0\u201cYou\u2019re too young to know about that\u201d or \u201cYou\u2019re too old to understand how I feel\u201d are more likely to inflame rather than reach out. \u00a0The young person may be extremely well-read in history, culture, or experienced a lot already for their age, where the older person most likely was in your shoes at some point and is trying to help. \u00a0Knowledge comes to all ages, sizes, and paths in different ways.<\/p>\n

-DO consider what you can learn from someone else not in your age group. \u00a0The young can offer new insight and ideas that can invigorate and inspire an older generation. The older generation can help the young save time by offering tried and true ways that will ground ideas and implement them faster.<\/p>\n

We truly live in interesting times, and with that, the great potential to continue to build and grow our community\/communities significantly. \u00a0In order to do that, we need to make use of ALL of our resources, and that is the experience and energy of the entire breadth of generations. \u00a0Together, through listening and exercising mutual respect, we can manifest some serious magick.<\/p>\n<\/body><\/html>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I just got back from a fabulous weekend of participating in Many Gods West, and I\u2019ll be talking about that soon, but first, this\u2026 I wasn\u2019t online much over the last few days, but at some point I sat down to decompress a bit and scroll through my feed. \u00a0The announcement of a new blog […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2676,"featured_media":127,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[15,12,14],"tags":[78,24,79,52,26,7,4,80],"class_list":["post-126","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-metaphysics","category-modernpractice","category-tradition","tag-age","tag-community","tag-elder","tag-magick","tag-pagan","tag-witch","tag-witchcraft","tag-youth"],"yoast_head":"\nToo Young, Too Old, But Just Right<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"I just got back from a fabulous weekend of participating in Many Gods West, and I'll be talking about that soon, but first, this... 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