{"id":493,"date":"2017-04-02T11:08:48","date_gmt":"2017-04-02T19:08:48","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/admin.patheos.com\/blogs\/tempest\/?p=493"},"modified":"2017-04-02T12:13:57","modified_gmt":"2017-04-02T20:13:57","slug":"harpooning-harpies-dancing-dragons","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/tempest\/2017\/04\/harpooning-harpies-dancing-dragons.html","title":{"rendered":"Harpooning Harpies While Dancing With Dragons"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<\/head>

\"harpoonharpy\"Dear subconscious mind, don\u2019t talk to me about dragons at 3am. \u00a0Actually, that should probably be extended to nearly everyone at most times.<\/p>\n

(Woe to the\u00a0guy at a recent festival who was intent on telling me which kind of dragon \u201ccontrolled\u201d my body as I danced, and if I spent some more time with him, he could tell me all about it. Because clearly I was a pretty young thing\u00a0and could not leave my mother\u2026)<\/em><\/p>\n

Not that I have anything against dragons. They were definitely in my top 3 of favorite things to draw in my youth (the others being equines and mermaids). And I have a lot of friends for whom dragon imagery and energy plays into their beliefs and practices. \u00a0I still occasionally draw them too.<\/p>\n

But in the course of the last day or so, several completely unrelated threads\/posts\/podcasts\/mentions of dragons all filtered through and coagulated into my brain. \u00a0They mixed with a variety of issues I had been processing\u00a0in very different communities I am involved in. So when the decongestant wore off around 3am, there were dragons\u00a0waiting for me.<\/p>\n

No, not actual dragons. \u00a0Rather the puzzling phenomenon of people who seem to manage to get away with some really bad behavior, over quite a long period of time \u2013 and those who get instantly blasted to bits for a small misstep. \u00a0And unfortunately the majority of examples I could think of split the former into largely male, and the latter into largely female.
\n\"saint-georges\"
\nFirst, my brain worked on the pword community \u2013 considering some key founding folks of the 20th century with notoriously bad behavior. \u00a0Their stories and supposed research is generally celebrated and poor behavior excused, while their female contemporaries are often the butt of jokes about their theories, scholarship, and missteps. Do we really need to be harder on Margaret Murray, Helena\u00a0Blavatsky, and Sybil Leek than we are on Aleister Crowley, Alex Sanders, or Robert Cochrane? Are we really passing around memes stamped with the name of the guy infamous for flame wars, threats and making shit up while claiming it was ancient, in 90\u2019s witchcraft chatrooms? How long did it take to out a child molester?<\/p>\n

But it\u2019s not just this subculture. \u00a0In bellydance, we have the \u201cthe power of the penis\u201d \u2013 where because the dance is so largely female, *any* male dancer instantly gets loads of attention, regardless of their skill or talent. \u00a0It wasn\u2019t unusual at a certain festival for the audience to turn into a bunch of howling, cat-calling monkeys when a man graced the stage \u2013 meanwhile we would never tolerate the inverse. I recently saw a conversation about the popularity of male teachers where someone actually said, \u201cwell, the men just work harder, since it\u2019s a female-dominated field.\u201d \u00a0(Imagine parts of my brain exploding here). I\u2019ll bet you $20 that if you asked that same person about a woman rising to a position of power in a male-dominated industry, there would be the insinuation that she had slept her way there.<\/p>\n

Now I know there are some incredible male dancers out there, but I also know of many more who were unfairly escalated because of their rarity vs. their actual talent. \u00a0Unfair for everyone \u2013 their fellow students, the audience, and those who would learn from dancers not ready to teach, and even for them. \u00a0I will also bet you that some of those now-incredible male dancers will also admit they got pushed along faster than they should have \u2013 and the damage that caused them in the process. \u00a0So why are they often more popular than their female counterparts? \u00a0Because it\u2019s been ingrained in our society that women should seek the approval of men regardless, all the while being twice as hard on other women. Yay misogyny!<\/p>\n

I can also cite examples in Goth and Steampunk communities \u2013 club owners, musicians, DJs, event organizers, and so forth. (Really, my brain worked on this for about 2 hours.) \u00a0It goes on and on, all the way to the recent US election.<\/p>\n

So dragons. \u00a0Big, fierce, intimidating, dangerous. My ex-husband considered himself a dragon. He was infamous for picking fights, spouting off venom and vitriol, and being loud and imposing. \u00a0Yet he was also charming when he wanted to be, which he always showed to the right people. \u00a0I can\u2019t tell you the amount of times that *I* got in trouble for his bad behavior \u2013 as if it was my job to control him. \u00a0(Because on top of working a full-time corporate job, teaching and performing dance, freelancing art, designing and making things to sell, I should add monitoring a giant man-baby.)<\/em> \u00a0What most people didn\u2019t see was an extremely insecure and unhealthy person who saw these exchanges as a means to seem powerful to the world. \u00a0To create the illusion that\u00a0he had control, when really he had very little, except for whomever he could manipulate and con. \u00a0He sought attention any way he could. Sure, he also did some nice things, and most people overlooked the crap because he had a sound system that could be used for events and music-editing skills. Then he would bemoan the fact that people \u201cused\u201d him for that.<\/p>\n

\"Painting
Painting by the author<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

Yeah, so there\u2019s my very open personal association with dragons\u00a0for you. Vitriol and threats used as a means to claim power while masking fragile insecurity. \u00a0And we\u2019re so accommodating to tolerate it, especially in the male perceived gatekeepers in our communities. \u00a0Why? Because they wrote a book, are a known performer, founded a tradition, or run an event or a group? They\u2019re not the only one capable of doing it. Newsflash:<\/strong> it\u2019s really not that hard to run an event, or write a book, or make shit up that sounds good.<\/strong> (Hell, for what it\u2019s worth \u2013 I\u2019m all for making shit up by the way, as long as you are up front about it.)<\/em> Also, if they\u2019re visibly mistreating someone else, I guarantee it\u2019s only a matter of time before that dragon turns its head towards you. Yet so many people prefer to play Russian roulette.<\/p>\n

Nor am I excusing shitty behavior by women \u2013 they do exist. \u00a0But we are a LOT quicker to harpoon the perceived harpies because it\u2019s been ingrained in us that\u00a0misogyny is OK and to be expected. Because that makes perfect sense for a community that supposedly embraces\/worships\/respects the divine feminine*. (*hint: sarcasm)<\/em><\/p>\n

Instead, we should be examining our own responses, and addressing bad behavior across the spectrum. \u00a0Also, as I said here<\/a>, we need to be more balanced in evaluating others. \u00a0Nobody is perfect, and everyone DOES make mistakes. \u00a0People can learn and correct their behavior. However, sometimes a cookie\u2019s not only broken, it\u2019s stale and moldy. Nobody should have to eat that shit.<\/p>\n

Why do we tolerate it? Is it because\u00a0we fear we may be denied knowledge or access to places we want to be? Or that we have succumbed to believing abuse is healthy? We don\u2019t need gatekeepers who manipulate and restrict on the whims of their egos. \u00a0We need leaders who encourage growth, share and support resources, and empower the community.<\/p>\n

Here\u2019s another thing I have learned \u2013 the people who are honestly, truly powerful beings, never make a show of it. They don\u2019t need to draw attention to it, or seem threatening. One of my mentors is such a being. You could mistake him for Santa Claus with his rosy cheeks, thick white hair, and round belly. \u00a0His voice is always calm and even, eyes twinkling. Yet all it took was a single short phone call from him to one of the most notorious asshole deans at my college to do a 180 on his position. \u00a0Moments later, the dean left me a stumbling and stammering message apologizing for his mistake. You don\u2019t need to call attention to it if you are the real deal \u2013 and that works in all spectrum and paths. \u00a0(With great power comes great responsibility\u2026)<\/em><\/p>\n

So how\u00a0do you slay a dragon? By refusing to give it power, not being afraid to go around it, and choosing to ignore its threats. By refusing to do a dance with it, hoping you won\u2019t get burned. By building a better community that communicates openly and invests its energy\u00a0wisely. By considering what it means to be respected and<\/em> respectful \u2013 and practice that path.<\/p>\n<\/body><\/html>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Dear subconscious mind, don\u2019t talk to me about dragons at 3am. \u00a0Actually, that should probably be extended to nearly everyone at most times. (Woe to the\u00a0guy at a recent festival who was intent on telling me which kind of dragon \u201ccontrolled\u201d my body as I danced, and if I spent some more time with him, […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2676,"featured_media":494,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[12],"tags":[24,216,217,51,198,162,7,4],"class_list":["post-493","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-modernpractice","tag-community","tag-dragon","tag-harpy","tag-power","tag-pword","tag-pwords","tag-witch","tag-witchcraft"],"yoast_head":"\nHarpooning Harpies While Dancing With Dragons<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Dear subconscious mind, don't talk to me about dragons at 3am. Actually, that should probably be extended to nearly everyone at most times.\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/tempest\/2017\/04\/harpooning-harpies-dancing-dragons.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Harpooning Harpies While Dancing With Dragons\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Dear subconscious mind, don't talk to me about dragons at 3am. Actually, that should probably be extended to nearly everyone at most times.\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/tempest\/2017\/04\/harpooning-harpies-dancing-dragons.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"A Modern Traditional Witch\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:author\" content=\"http:\/\/www.facebook.com\/LauraTempestZakroff\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2017-04-02T19:08:48+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2017-04-02T20:13:57+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"https:\/\/wp-media.patheos.com\/blogs\/sites\/654\/2017\/04\/harpoonharpy.jpg\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:width\" content=\"600\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:height\" content=\"300\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:type\" content=\"image\/jpeg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Laura Tempest Zakroff\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:creator\" content=\"@LTempestZ\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"Laura Tempest Zakroff\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"7 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\/\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/tempest\/2017\/04\/harpooning-harpies-dancing-dragons.html\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/tempest\/2017\/04\/harpooning-harpies-dancing-dragons.html\",\"name\":\"Harpooning Harpies While Dancing With Dragons\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/tempest\/#website\"},\"datePublished\":\"2017-04-02T19:08:48+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2017-04-02T20:13:57+00:00\",\"author\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/tempest\/#\/schema\/person\/4b27926466da8da8d2f065b017f61b72\"},\"description\":\"Dear subconscious mind, don't talk to me about dragons at 3am. Actually, that should probably be extended to nearly everyone at most times.\",\"breadcrumb\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/tempest\/2017\/04\/harpooning-harpies-dancing-dragons.html#breadcrumb\"},\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"ReadAction\",\"target\":[\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/tempest\/2017\/04\/harpooning-harpies-dancing-dragons.html\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"BreadcrumbList\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/tempest\/2017\/04\/harpooning-harpies-dancing-dragons.html#breadcrumb\",\"itemListElement\":[{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":1,\"name\":\"Home\",\"item\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/tempest\"},{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":2,\"name\":\"Harpooning Harpies While Dancing With Dragons\"}]},{\"@type\":\"WebSite\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/tempest\/#website\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/tempest\/\",\"name\":\"A Modern Traditional Witch\",\"description\":\"Weaving the Realms of Tradition, Folklore, and Modern Practice\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"SearchAction\",\"target\":{\"@type\":\"EntryPoint\",\"urlTemplate\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/tempest\/?s={search_term_string}\"},\"query-input\":\"required name=search_term_string\"}],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\"},{\"@type\":\"Person\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/tempest\/#\/schema\/person\/4b27926466da8da8d2f065b017f61b72\",\"name\":\"Laura Tempest Zakroff\",\"image\":{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/tempest\/#\/schema\/person\/image\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/acc3ea529c8d56233a639e2fc69121da?s=96&d=identicon&r=g\",\"contentUrl\":\"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/acc3ea529c8d56233a639e2fc69121da?s=96&d=identicon&r=g\",\"caption\":\"Laura Tempest Zakroff\"},\"description\":\"Laura Tempest Zakroff is a professional artist, author, performer, and Modern Traditional Witch based in New England. She holds a BFA from RISD (the Rhode Island School of Design), and her artwork has received awards and honors worldwide. Her work embodies myth and the esoteric through her drawings and paintings, jewelry, talismans, and other designs. Laura is the author of the bestselling Llewellyn books Weave the Liminal, Sigil Witchery, and Anatomy of a Witch, as well as the Liminal Spirits Oracle (artist\/author), The Witch\u2019s Cauldron, and co-author of The Witch\u2019s Altar with Jason Mankey. Laura edited The New Aradia: A Witch\u2019s Handbook to Magical Resistance (Revelore Press). She is the creative force behind several community events and teaches workshops online and worldwide.\",\"sameAs\":[\"http:\/\/www.lauratempestzakroff.com\",\"http:\/\/www.facebook.com\/LauraTempestZakroff\",\"https:\/\/www.instagram.com\/owlkeyme.arts\/\",\"https:\/\/twitter.com\/LTempestZ\"],\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/tempest\/author\/ltzakroff\"}]}<\/script>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"Harpooning Harpies While Dancing With Dragons","description":"Dear subconscious mind, don't talk to me about dragons at 3am. Actually, that should probably be extended to nearly everyone at most times.","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/tempest\/2017\/04\/harpooning-harpies-dancing-dragons.html","og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"Harpooning Harpies While Dancing With Dragons","og_description":"Dear subconscious mind, don't talk to me about dragons at 3am. Actually, that should probably be extended to nearly everyone at most times.","og_url":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/tempest\/2017\/04\/harpooning-harpies-dancing-dragons.html","og_site_name":"A Modern Traditional Witch","article_author":"http:\/\/www.facebook.com\/LauraTempestZakroff","article_published_time":"2017-04-02T19:08:48+00:00","article_modified_time":"2017-04-02T20:13:57+00:00","og_image":[{"width":600,"height":300,"url":"https:\/\/wp-media.patheos.com\/blogs\/sites\/654\/2017\/04\/harpoonharpy.jpg","type":"image\/jpeg"}],"author":"Laura Tempest Zakroff","twitter_card":"summary_large_image","twitter_creator":"@LTempestZ","twitter_misc":{"Written by":"Laura Tempest Zakroff","Est. reading time":"7 minutes"},"schema":{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org","@graph":[{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/tempest\/2017\/04\/harpooning-harpies-dancing-dragons.html","url":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/tempest\/2017\/04\/harpooning-harpies-dancing-dragons.html","name":"Harpooning Harpies While Dancing With Dragons","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/tempest\/#website"},"datePublished":"2017-04-02T19:08:48+00:00","dateModified":"2017-04-02T20:13:57+00:00","author":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/tempest\/#\/schema\/person\/4b27926466da8da8d2f065b017f61b72"},"description":"Dear subconscious mind, don't talk to me about dragons at 3am. Actually, that should probably be extended to nearly everyone at most times.","breadcrumb":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/tempest\/2017\/04\/harpooning-harpies-dancing-dragons.html#breadcrumb"},"inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"ReadAction","target":["https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/tempest\/2017\/04\/harpooning-harpies-dancing-dragons.html"]}]},{"@type":"BreadcrumbList","@id":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/tempest\/2017\/04\/harpooning-harpies-dancing-dragons.html#breadcrumb","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"name":"Home","item":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/tempest"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"name":"Harpooning Harpies While Dancing With Dragons"}]},{"@type":"WebSite","@id":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/tempest\/#website","url":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/tempest\/","name":"A Modern Traditional Witch","description":"Weaving the Realms of Tradition, Folklore, and Modern Practice","potentialAction":[{"@type":"SearchAction","target":{"@type":"EntryPoint","urlTemplate":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/tempest\/?s={search_term_string}"},"query-input":"required name=search_term_string"}],"inLanguage":"en-US"},{"@type":"Person","@id":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/tempest\/#\/schema\/person\/4b27926466da8da8d2f065b017f61b72","name":"Laura Tempest Zakroff","image":{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/tempest\/#\/schema\/person\/image\/","url":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/acc3ea529c8d56233a639e2fc69121da?s=96&d=identicon&r=g","contentUrl":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/acc3ea529c8d56233a639e2fc69121da?s=96&d=identicon&r=g","caption":"Laura Tempest Zakroff"},"description":"Laura Tempest Zakroff is a professional artist, author, performer, and Modern Traditional Witch based in New England. She holds a BFA from RISD (the Rhode Island School of Design), and her artwork has received awards and honors worldwide. Her work embodies myth and the esoteric through her drawings and paintings, jewelry, talismans, and other designs. Laura is the author of the bestselling Llewellyn books Weave the Liminal, Sigil Witchery, and Anatomy of a Witch, as well as the Liminal Spirits Oracle (artist\/author), The Witch\u2019s Cauldron, and co-author of The Witch\u2019s Altar with Jason Mankey. Laura edited The New Aradia: A Witch\u2019s Handbook to Magical Resistance (Revelore Press). She is the creative force behind several community events and teaches workshops online and worldwide.","sameAs":["http:\/\/www.lauratempestzakroff.com","http:\/\/www.facebook.com\/LauraTempestZakroff","https:\/\/www.instagram.com\/owlkeyme.arts\/","https:\/\/twitter.com\/LTempestZ"],"url":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/tempest\/author\/ltzakroff"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/tempest\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/493","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/tempest\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/tempest\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/tempest\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2676"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/tempest\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=493"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/tempest\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/493\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/tempest\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/494"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/tempest\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=493"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/tempest\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=493"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/tempest\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=493"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}