{"id":6467,"date":"2025-06-29T17:35:29","date_gmt":"2025-06-29T21:35:29","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/terrygaspard\/?p=6467"},"modified":"2025-06-29T17:35:29","modified_gmt":"2025-06-29T21:35:29","slug":"6-questions-to-ask-potential-marriage-partners","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/terrygaspard\/2025\/06\/6-questions-to-ask-potential-marriage-partners\/","title":{"rendered":"6 Questions to Ask Potential Marriage Partners"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<\/head>

Who we choose to marry is one of the most important and costliest decisions a person will make, yet it\u2019s not uncommon for lovers to make errors in judgment. Why does this happen? One reason is that most of us aren\u2019t raised with a healthy template of marriage to follow. We also lack self-awareness and may be afraid of ending up alone.<\/p>\n

\"\"
Happy couple embracing and laughing on the beach<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

Another factor is unrealistic expectations of marriage because we grew up in the first generation for whom divorce continues to be accepted and common. According to author Pamela Paul, lots of marriages seem to be trial marriages and people tie the knot with the notion of \u201cIf it doesn\u2019t make me happy, I\u2019ll just move on.\u201d Since more and more individuals grow up in divorced homes where they witness divorce being the solution to marital problems, they may not approach marriage with a thoughtful mindset.<\/p>\n

Unfortunately, many of us marry without obtaining critical information about our partners. For instance, we may not know that our father-in-law is a substance abuser or that our mother-in-law has a family history of mental illness. Sadly, we may put our faith in someone who we fall in love with blindly and fail to ask some of these crucial questions.<\/p>\n

6 questions to ask potential marital partners:<\/strong><\/p>\n

1.Who are their parents? Include questions about marital history, mental illness and substance abuse, etc.. Don\u2019t shy away from asking questions now that may blindside you later. It\u2019s better to be forewarned because some qualities have a genetic component.
\n2. What is their typical way of dealing with conflict? Don\u2019t assume that your partner has good anger management skills. Does he\/she usually take responsibility for his\/her actions or blame someone else? Do they tend to stonewall or withdraw from conflict or see it as an opportunity for growth?
\n3. How does your partner feel about having children? How many children do they consider the best number if they want them? Do they believe that couples should share chores and childcare responsibilities?
\n4. What are their values and beliefs about infidelity?
\n5. What is their view of divorce?<\/p>\n

6.What would they consider a good solution to a period when your marriage is rocky?<\/p>\n

Perhaps the first step in deciding whether a person is a good risk for marriage is to get clarity around \u201cdeal breakers\u201d and \u201cdeal makers.\u201d It\u2019s crucial to know those things that are important to you from the list above (or other questions) and to not compromise too many of your values and beliefs.<\/p>\n

There is no such thing as a perfect partner. You might want to ask yourself this question: Is there something about the way that he\/she treats me that makes me a bigger and better person? If the answer is no, ask yourself: Am I settling for less than I deserve<\/a> in the relationship?<\/p>\n

Follow Terry on Facebook,<\/a> Twitter,<\/a> and movingpastdivorce.com<\/a>. Terry\u2019s book Daughters of Divorce<\/a>: Overcome the Legacy of Your Parent\u2019s Breakup and Enjoy a Happy Relationship <\/em>was published by Sourcebooks.<\/p>\n<\/body><\/html>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Who we choose to marry is one of the most important and costliest decisions a person will make, yet it\u2019s not uncommon for lovers to make errors in judgment. Why does this happen? One reason is that most of us aren\u2019t raised with a healthy template of marriage to follow. We also lack self-awareness and […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3446,"featured_media":287,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"fbia_status":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[17,180],"class_list":["post-6467","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-uncategorized","tag-marriage","tag-premarital-counseling"],"yoast_head":"\n6 Questions to Ask Potential Marriage Partners<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Who we choose to marry is one of the most important and costliest decisions a person will make, yet it\u2019s not uncommon for lovers to make errors in\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/terrygaspard\/2025\/06\/6-questions-to-ask-potential-marriage-partners\/\" \/>\n<meta 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