Henrietta:<\/strong> Now, Eudora, you stand there and you just sing out \u2013 don\u2019t you move a muscle \u2013 just sing out so that Baby Jesus can hear you!<\/p>\n Myrna:<\/strong> Myrna<\/em>, Mama! I hate being called Eudora!<\/p>\n Henrietta:<\/strong> Your name is Eudora<\/em>, and I don\u2019t care what the Pastor\u2019s wife says about letting you change your name. I\u2019m only going along because Myrna is your middle name and it\u2019s so pretty. It was my grandmother\u2019s name and it\u2019s respectable -not like if you were trying to call yourself Britney or Kimberly! If you ask me, that pastor\u2019s wife has some pret-ty odd ideas, anyway! Whoever heard of a pastor\u2019s wife wearing nail polish and running a computer thing called a blob!<\/p>\n Myrna:<\/strong> A blog, Mama; Mrs. Pastor runs a blog, and it\u2019s about her family and church, and it\u2019s nice.<\/p>\n Henrietta:<\/strong> Oh, I suppose next you\u2019re going to tell me that Tweeters and Blueberries and all those sorts of devil-machines are \u201cnice.\u201d Althea down the street told me that those words are just code for dirtytalk. I better never find out her son\u2019s tweeters are touching your blueberries!<\/p>\n Myrna:<\/strong> (Gasps) Mama! I don\u2019t even know her son but to say hi to! And it\u2019s Twitters, and Blackberries, and \u2013 oh, Mama, if I could have a Blackberry, I could always call and let you know where I am, and I could download things \u2026 for school. <\/em><\/p>\n Henrietta:<\/strong> Devil\u2019s tool! You have a computer to use; that\u2019s good enough!<\/p>\n Myrna:<\/strong> It\u2019s 8 years old, Mama, and we only have dial-up! And you\u2019ve put so many parental controls on it that I couldn\u2019t even use it to do my report on Breast Cancer because it blocked all those stories from me.<\/p>\n Henrietta:<\/strong> And you don\u2019t need to know about\u2026bosom<\/em> matters\u2026until you are older. Anyways, right now all you have are blueberries and they get hidden proper with a vest and jacket.<\/p>\n Myrna:<\/strong> (sotto voce) I wish I were dead!<\/em> Myrna:<\/strong> I wish my jacket were red!<\/p>\n Henrietta:<\/strong> (narrows her eyes) I just bet you do. You\u2019re just like your Auntie Jezebel, always with her red shoes and her red hat!<\/p>\n Myrna:<\/strong> Jessica<\/em>, Mama; her name is Jessica.<\/p>\n Henrietta:<\/strong> Jezebel, I call her! A ladylike rose hat wasn\u2019t good enough, oh no! She decked herself out in red and walked about town like a big neon sign that said \u201cTwo Harvey Wallbangers and I\u2019m yours!\u201d<\/p>\n Myrna:<\/strong> Who\u2019s Harvey Wallbanger?<\/p>\n Henrietta:<\/strong> Never you mind. That Jezebel got the Orange Juice from your daddy, and that\u2019s why you and I have to make-do, like respectable people!<\/p>\n Myrna:<\/strong> Because Auntie Jessica borrowed Orange Juice from Daddy?<\/p>\n Henrietta:<\/strong> She got more than juice, but never you mind.<\/p>\n Myrna:<\/strong> Was that before Daddy died, when I was just born?<\/p>\n Henrietta:<\/strong> That\u2019s enough, Eudora; you just stand at that microphone and sing, now, like I taught you! Let people hear how nice you sing!<\/p>\n Myrna:<\/strong> But Mama, I don\u2019t want to sing on tv.<\/p>\n Henrietta:<\/strong> Oh,, but you didn\u2019t mind singing that devil\u2019s music down at the kari-okey, didja? I heard about you singing in that Youth Show, and wiggling your hips and moaning like that Lady Gag-me!<\/p>\n Myrna:<\/strong> Lady Gaga, Mama, and I wasn\u2019t singing anything bad; it was \u201cYou Light Up My Life!\u201d It was Debby Boone!<\/p>\n Henrietta:<\/strong> Swiveling your hips like that Madonna, that\u2019s what I heard, and you were licking your lips, too!<\/p>\n Myrna:<\/strong> Just to make them pink, Mama.<\/p>\n
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\nHenrietta:<\/strong> What was that?<\/p>\n